My Worst Date

I remember the doorbell ringing 30 minutes ahead of what I had expected. I was still trying to apply my makeup and I was tripping over my clothing scattered everywhere on the floor. I couldn’t find my other shoe and my earrings didn’t match.The bell rang once more. I forgot about my appearance and went to greet the door. I was taken aback from the intense scent of Axe. I let out a cough and my nostrils felt like they were burning.
“Hey there, are you ready?” a man’s voice asked.

I could hardly see him, tears were filling my eyes, and the smell was way too overpowering. He pushed passed me and invited himself into my house. He made himself comfortable and sat down on my couch. I closed the door behind and him and regrouped myself.  His name was Thomas, and he works in the post office, I tried to remember, my brain practically fried by cheap cologne. We were going on a date and I had been admiring him for a while now, you could imagine my excitement, I was like a kid in a candy store! 

“I thought our reservation wasn’t for another hour?” I asked a little confused as to why he was so early.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah but I changed it because there’s an intense hockey game on at 8 and you know I can't miss that.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just stood there eventually he'd say he was kidding or something but it never came. I shook it off,  flashed him a smile and got ready.

The hardest part was getting into his dirty truck. His seat covered in something slimy and sticky made me sick to my stomach. He had garbage, piles upon piles of takeout food left over’s on the passenger seat. Chewed gum remained on the seats, dirty clothing oozed out of every where and somehow a colony of flies had settled into his car.

"Do you mind sitting in the back?" He asked shoving more things onto that seat. "I think there's like half a seat right there," he had pointed to a small space not covered by repulsing trash. I felt my cheeks burn with anger but I didn't give up. I squeezed my way thru the clutter and awkwardly sat with my butt half off the seat and the pain of something sharp poking my back. However I obeyed and patiently waited as he drove us to our destination, the radio blaring a hole into my ear drums.

Once we had arrived at my favourite restaurant he directly made his way to the bathroom and left me there as I waited for him to come back. Finally after a good twenty minutes he was back with a large smile on his face.

"Woo, that was a nasty one," he said winking. I was absolutely repulsed and quickly regretted my decision in coming here. I was ready to ditch him when the waitress came over and quickly brought us to our table.

At least the table was beautiful. There was a bouquet of red roses, flower petals and candles lit on the small round table. A large chandelier sparkling from every direction hung right above and I was blown away. It was everything romantic any girl could ask for.

I took my coat off but Thomas looked at me unhappy. He gave me a "wait a second" sign and left me once more. I could see him talking to the waitress and I was getting quite impatient. Around me were tables full of people holding hands, giving presents, popping champagne and overall having a good Valentine’s Day.

"Put your coat back on," he said grabbing his things and starting to leave. I was even more confused than before. Were we changing tables, was there another restaurant, did he have something special prepared for me? The thoughts ravaged so intensely in my mind that next things I knew we were in the parking lot.


"Where are we going?" I demanded to be answered. He got into his truck and waited for me to climb into the back seat.

"Its way too expensive here. Let me take you some where’s I really like, trust me you'll love. I know this night may not be going as planned, but trust me I'll make it up to you."

I wondered if I should either run away or keep going. I decided to continue, because it could only get better from here, right? I was wrong. You should have seen my face as we pulled up in the Maid Marian's parking lot.

"You have got to be kidding me," I said before getting out of the car. I didn't make my way towards the restaurant but instead I turned in the other direction getting ready to walk home. As I looked back I saw Thomas getting into his truck and driving off in the opposite direction, I huffed and continued walking alone. I couldn’t believed what had just happened. I was both angry and sad at the same time. 

As I walked back, pained by the night's events... it got worst. My favorite shoes hadn't made it thru the long journey back and the heels had managed to break off. In addition, I had been splashed slush onto by a reckless cab. My coat was ruined and my face soaked. Makeup ran down my face, along with a mixture of slush, mascara and tears. I spat out the disgusting salty and unfriendly tasting mixture that crept its way onto my lips. 

In spite of these unfortunate events, I am now happily married to a rich billionaire Brazilian model. I never gave the rude post officer worker another thought until the other day. In town to visit my family I had walked past the usual hot spot of the small town when I had noticed a man laying on the ground. You should have seen my reaction when I found out it was Thomas. Although he had been rude and utterly disgusting to me, I wouldn't wish this life style on my worst enemy. I hope one day Thomas can get his act together and find a family of his own, but for me I have Luis.