I have to stand up for myself. I can’t always let others bring me down. But how do I? I was broken out of my thoughts being hit firmly by another venomous comment. I could feel myself dying a little each time I replayed the comments over in my head; each one nearly brought me to tears. My eyes watered and tears were falling down my cheek. I ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the empty cold stall and cried my eyes out.  “Why do I go through this, I hate myself!” Sitting here feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to work this time, I was angry! I quickly reached to the bottom of my massive black My Chemical Romance bag and felt around for the enemy, my razor. I pulled down my jeans and made 3 clean cuts on my upper thigh. Blood dripped down slowly as I painfully dug into the 4th one. The pain brought sick familiar relief to me. I took a deep breath and whispered “I’m fine.”
  I cleaned up the mess I had made and walked out of the bathroom. In the mirror I studied my appearance. My lavender hair swept across my left eye and my Bring Me the Horizon shirt hung on me like a dress. “Excuse me; do you know where Mr. Smith is?” I turned and saw a tall gorgeous boy with pitch black hair and blue eyes that gave me chills staring down on me. I froze and he smirked. “I like you hair” He said. I instantly turned red “You’re tall” I muttered looking up at him, then instantly feeling stupid. “Maybe to you you’re like a midget” he said laughing loudly at his own joke. I gasped, “I’m 4’8, and I’m tall!” I yelled. Again he laughed gasping for air amused by my frustration. I stormed away from him quickly too embarrassed to stay. “Wait!” he cried chasing me and laughing. “I’m sorry.” I turned around to glare at him and tripped, ouch, that was embarrassing. My face heated up when I realized he had seen that. Once again he was laughing. “Need help up?” he asked, smiling a gorgeous smile. “No” I shouted jumping up then falling down. Pain shot through my leg sending shocks all up it. I closed my eyes tight and clenched my teeth to keep from screaming. His eyes got wide, “What happened?” He asked pointing to the blood seeping through my jeans, creating a stain on blood that began dripping onto the clean white floor. “Nothing just a little accident” I stuttered out.  “Doesn’t look like a little accident” he accused. I turned pale not sure how to explain myself. Noticing I was uncomfortable he quickly changed the subject “Hi I’m Blake I’m new here” he said smiling like nothing had happened. I decided to just go along with it. “Oh great we have the same name” I said back. RING! The bell rang. He sighed and looked at my leg then pulled out a black sharpie from his pocket. “Here” he laughed grabbing my hand and writing his number on it. “If you ever need anything call me, friend.” I blushed at that last part, he did too. He walked off and I stood there, gazing at him, butterflies in my tummy.

When I came home I was already being yelled at by my family being told what a screw up I was. I ran in my room and cried instantly reaching for my razor, and then I stopped, noticing his number on my hand and actually realizing and thinking through what I was doing. I never do that. Should I call him? I thought. Would he think I was stupid for calling? Without thinking I quickly dialed his number and waited. “Hello?” He said in a groggy voice. “Hey, oh sorry did I wake you? It’s Blake!” I added wondering if he even remembered me. “I know it’s you silly, and no you’re fine I was just taking a nap” he insisted. I could tell by the sound of his voice he was now smiling and that made me smile.

Two hours later we were still talking. “Are you okay I didn’t even ask why you called” He said sounding concerned. “I’m fine now” I whispered. He laughed and said “Good” We talked on the phone all night about anything and everything. I don’t think I ever stopped smiling. We both sat silently for a long time, I just listened to his soft breath. “Sometimes I think things will never be okay” I whispered. He didn’t reply so I assumed he was asleep and continued. “I barley know you but you really changed things for me. I feel like someone cares and I’m not worthless for once in my life.” I sighed tearing up. “Goodnight friend, thank you,” I sobbed. “Goodnight Love” he replied, and then I swear before we both drifted off to sleep he whispered “Keep holding on” and that made me smile.