There was only one thing I could see now. Only one thing I would face. The corner of my room, that's it. The joint of two plain walls. Nothing more, nothing less. I turned my back on the world a long time ago. I lost interest in life a good while ago. Now, there was nothing for me here. At a weakened state the only thing that could manage was a few words. "I came alone. I'll leave alone".
I hadn't been always like this. There was once a time when I was happy. A time when I saw more than just the walls. A time when I felt good to be alive. But I hadn't been ready for the world. I was naive to the world's cruelty. That's because I came alone. And that is why I'll leave alone.
I should have realized that sooner. Should have learned that lesson before I was caught up in the excitement of life. Should have prepared myself for the disease that brought even the strongest of men to their knees. Before falling in love I should have known I was always meant to be alone.
Love. What feeble word. A word said so often yet held not true meaning. Despite desperately trying to cling on to it, the word had no value. It came to the lips as easy as a cry to a child. Yet, it was hard to let go of the word. Once you knew it, it felt as vast as the sky, as bright as the sun and as deep as the sea. It would have itself wrapped around our hearts', attracting us to it, until we weren't able to see the poisonous fangs it bares against us. Love was dangerous, it should have been left alone.
But how was I to know. I was young and in heaven. A single butterfly amongst the flowers of Eden. A butterfly that was blind to everything else but the single flower among a thousand. A butterfly that dreamt of the flower's pollens. A butterfly that would fly close enough to bathe in the flower's fragrance before shying away. And just like that, within a single spring, that butterfly fell in deep. But I was too late to realize that within the garden and in the search for flowers, I wasn't alone.
And just like that, as if all my feelings were for naught, I lost the flower. Within a an even shorter while, all that I tried to gain, floated away into the air. It was then when I felt something inside me crumble into dust. I felt a gaping hole in a place where I never knew existed until then. I felt shattered and lost, falling into a bottomless pit of despair. I lost my mind, all of my sanity and still I was alone.
That was how I came to learn my lesson. It was only now, as I looked into the corner of the room and faced away from the world that I realized that I came alone and should leave alone.
The realization prompted my movements which had never come until then, in a long while. My hands rose up and brought itself over where I felt most vulnerable and weak. My vision started to blur and the world faded into darkness before me. I soon felt cold and powerless, but a smile finally came to my lips. When they came with my food the next time, they would know. They thought me mad, but now they would see the truth. That that I came alone, and left alone.