Every single day, even when he wasn’t around, his grey eyes had tormented her. That day, she was going about business and then fate must have decided to step in. She was only in L.A. for the day, so she never expected those eyes to lock with her’s once again. The studio was packed with extras, but Clara was one of the stars. She sat at the large, brightly lighted vanity mirror, stunningly dressed in an effervescent, elegant pearl ball gown as her blonde hair was situated into an updo for this episode of the newest daytime TV drama. And he, a ghost of her past, just so happened to be a production assistant that day.
It had been years since she last saw Robert, since college, but he still had a sleek, tall figure, and dark brown, constantly changing hair. Today, he was dressed stylishly as always in an all-black suit, minus the sports coat, and sorted eager civilian extras to their places. In her eyes, he deserved a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Her blue eyes widened at the sight of him, “Robert?” she waved anxiously from across the room, waiting for him to greet her. Anybody who met her knew she had charm; it’s because she had been practicing it for far too long.
A faint smile spread across his lips in that instant. “Clara!” he practically dropped his clipboard and sprinted over to her.
From what she knew, they would always be friends. Even when he had moved all the way across the country to follow his dreams and she stood still and built herself up in her hometown of New York City. They were both persistent dreamers that reached for the stars every single time.
So there he was, once again, standing right in front of her, bending down just a little to hug her tightly. It felt so good to be back in his arms. To be reminded of college, late-night joy rides in her father’s yacht, dancing with no music in the middle of Central Park. Every minute spent with him flashed in her mind like a slideshow.
Those memories and dreams stayed glued in her mind. She wanted them to keep replaying again and again, but she felt guilty about it. Shortly after college, she had met Zack, a guy that never changed his mind about her and knew what he wanted. Zack had everything that Robert lacked.
After what seemed like a century-long hug because her thoughts had wandered away from her, he looked down at her and said, “God, I missed you,” in an exasperated voice. Again, her mind wandered…
***
As the hallways bustled with back-to-school excitement on the first day of Clara’s sophomore year at Brooklyn Private High School, all focus was on the new kid a grade above her. His charismatic persona won everyone over. Well, except her and her snotty teenage disposition.
“I really don’t see what’s so great about that Robert kid anyway. I mean, he’s a transfer. I heard transfers have such a hard time adjusting to our classes,” she wailed in an uppity tone to her friend Margaret.
She rushed off to her boring Biology class that afternoon and when she found out Robert would be sitting next to her all semester, she was mortified. Could things get any worse? Probably not, she thought.
But one day, unfortunately for her, he had caught her eye in a way she couldn’t let go. From that moment on, she was forever stuck. She had to learn how to be a nobody to someone she was beginning to really like.
***
Her eyes sparkled as her eyes gazed up at him, “I missed you too,” she said, “It’s been too long.”
The day went on as normal, because like they say: the show must go on. So Clara kept the deep longing to continue her conversation with Robert inside of her. The heels of her Louboutins clicked as she headed to the set that was made to look like a dazzling ballroom out of a mansion in Paris. But in reality the L.A. studio was 5,642 miles away from the glitz and glamour of an actual Parisian palace. She played the part of a sophisticated, macaroon-eating socialite anyway.
Finally, another long day of starting and stopping takes, actors messing up their lines, and calamity on set came to a close. She unzipped her gown, pulled off her heels, untangled her updo, threw on normal clothes and exited her fitting room to wake up to reality. But instead she was greeted by Robert; he was a dream, not her reality.
He leaned against the doorway, “Do you want to go get dinner?” he asked as the corners of his mouth formed a smile to expose his dimples.
How can I resist, she thought? Temptation took hold, “Of course,” she smiled.
***
The bright, painted banner they stood under read “NYU Homecoming 2005” It was a miracle that Clara had made it this far, and the fact that he asked her to this dance was something she would have never imagined in a million years. Ever since they met, she had wanted to go to a dance with him. All the Homecomings and Proms she missed out on in high school were beginning to fade out of her memory, because now they stood next to each other, him in a tuxedo, and she in a bright red cocktail dress. It was her freshman year and his sophomore year at NYU. When Robert saw her walk into one of his classes, he remembered her and forgot all other pretenses. They had both changed for the better and the feelings were finally mutual.
***
For dinner, Robert picked out a fancy, yet underrated restaurant in the city in order to avoid the paparazzi. Clara was famous enough to be recognized by fans and frankly, she didn’t want them imposing tonight.
“So,” Robert started, “this boyfriend of your’s I keep seeing in the tabloids…”
She was taken aback by his comment, “Yeah, he’s great. What about him?”
“Well, does he take you to classy L.A. restaurants like I do?” he said with a laugh and a sexy smirk.
She rolled her eyes. It had been a long time since he used this method of flirting.
She decided to change the topic of conversation before she had another blast from her and Robert’s past. “I’m going on a trip to Africa next month,” she said quickly.
This intrigued him and kept the evening at a more appropriate level. Well, that is… until he just couldn’t handle it anymore.
***
After Homecoming, the whole campus was talking about NYU’s hottest new couple: Clara and Robert. This was the beginning of their experience with fame, real fame. They built their budding careers together: starting with student films, eventually moving on to local productions. After every shoot, they were notorious for going on walks in Central Park together. One walk in particular was significant: it was Clara’s birthday and Robert was going to surprise her.
The snow began to fall that night, December 8th, 2005, to be exact, as the two bounded down the path. Then, Robert made a sharp turn towards Clara, stopping her in her tracks as he reached for one of her hands and slipped the other into his pocket. He pulled out a sparkling silver box wrapped with a red bow.
“Open it,” he said, still standing in front of her.
She did as he said. Inside sat a diamond encrusted necklace that he then fastened to her neck. As the snow floated down from the heavenly night sky above them, small feathery snowflakes hit her eyelashes. She batted them away as the snow whirled around her. There was a feeling deep in her stomach similar to the whirlwind of snow. Then, she inched her face forward, her eyes staring incandescently into his. Robert’s eyes became windows to his soul that night. But then he shut his eyes and kissed her gently, as if the air had brushed her lips.
***
Robert reached for Clara’s hand across the dinner table as he tried to remember the feelings they had both felt years ago on December 8th, 2005. She shuddered at his touch because it all came running back through her veins.
“Robert, I--”
Sweet violin sounds began to play as their two sets of eyes dropped and focused on Clara’s iPhone that was sitting face up on the table. Four letters read “Zack” That was all it took to shove them out of their impending daydream. Her eyes trailed back to Robert who was already staring at her.
She grabbed the phone and pressed the green button.
“Hi babe,” she spoke into the phone in a melancholy tone.
She gave Robert a look as if to excuse herself from dinner for a few minutes and went to stand towards the front of the restaurant to stare out of the mahogany framed windows. Outside, a city stood, gleaming in the night with lights. This was Robert’s home now, she thought. This wasn’t her home; New York was her home.
She continued to talk into the phone, but took a quick glance over her shoulder at Robert, now sitting alone at the table, entertaining himself with business emails on his phone. She and Robert could never be again. Earlier her temptations took hold, but with every word Zack had said, her mind gave her reminders of when she and Robert’s relationship had failed.
That night, the taxi pulled up to her hotel. In the morning, she would be on a plane back home. Robert’s grey eyes became transfixed on her glittering blue eyes one last time.
“Bye Clara,” he said with a faint smile.
She gave him a nod, returned his farewell, and with that, she hopped out of the cab and watched as the driver pulled away.
As she watched the headlights fade, she realized she could no longer be chained to a false reality. She was her own person: Robert or no Robert, Zack or no Zack, boyfriend or no boyfriend. Her past was just that: the past.