I look at him in front of me; the thin silver ring that lost its glimmer adorn his ring finger on his hands, which desperately need moisturizer, that are rubbing his eyes as he slowly heaves and exhales.

I took a deep breath and took a sip from the glass of wine I poured for myself. It was going to be a long night.

“I don’t know what to do, Elly. She won’t talk to me at all. I called her cell phone and her work phone. She won’t pick up and I don’t know where she is! She has been ignoring me all day and she didn’t come home yesterday night.” He pleaded to me with his eyes. Clearly he hadn’t slept well. His face wore a light stubble and his tie was on backwards.

Even back in high school, this would happen. I would be his trusty confident, the one person who’d always be there to pick up the pieces when something went wrong. Sometimes I was even the messenger, the peaceful middleman when he got into fights with his girlfriend. When he’d gotten married to Sasha, I thought it would all end. But tonight he visited me for the first time since his marriage, the first time since he met Sasha actually. He had texted me a few times before but no more movie nights or Sunday jogs. His mind was fully focused on Sasha.

He was always a one track-minded man. And perhaps that’s why I fell in love with him.

I first met him in the sixth grade, and I took no notice of him. He was just a random kid among the hundreds of kids that I’ve never met before, since all the elementary schools in our town combined to form a middle school. I don’t know when, but slowly I found myself staring at him. Without thinking, my eyes would follow his outline as he stood in the cafeteria to buy lunch. By chance, we were assigned to be partners for a science project. We became acquaintances, then friends, but nothing else. I was promoted to “relationship consultant” after he started to get into girls, since I was his only female friend. I’ve seen his relationships go through the phases, then fall apart. Now here he was again, a married man, out of my reach, yet my heart still yearned for him, more than I’d like to admit.

“Please, Elly. What should I do? You’re the only one I can ask.”

I sighed.

“I can’t always be your relationship expert, you know. It’s not fair that you always come to me for help, and then throw me away when you don’t need me! You’re a grown, married man. Act like it!”

His eyes show a mixture of surprise and hurt. I realize that I raised my voice.

“…I’m so sorry I didn’t mean that, it’s just been a long day at work. I’ll try helping you, but you should probably go back home and get a good night’s rest. You look like you need it more than me,” I manage a fake chuckle. “Don’t worry, pal. I’ll take it from here.”

Through his tired face he manages a small smile. “Thank you so much Elly. Goodnight and call me if you hear about Sasha.”
He gives a small peck to my cheek and grabs his coat from the couch. He turns the door handle and I watch him leave.

I want to tell him that I love him. That I’ve loved him ever since middle school. That whenever I sing Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” in the shower, I’m thinking about him. But it’s too late. His shoes are gone. I’ve lost my chance again, just like I lost it twenty years ago.

The bathroom door creaks open and woman peeps her head out.

“Hey, sis, is he gone?”

“Yeah, Sasha. He is.”