I'm Sorry | Teen Ink

I'm Sorry

February 9, 2015
By Laura Herrera BRONZE, Grand Prairie, Texas
Laura Herrera BRONZE, Grand Prairie, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Ariel goes through a rough time, and is lead to drugs again: breaking the three year promise. She later then gets caught, by her boyfriend of three years where they fight about the broken promise. 

Chapter 1: I'm sorry

I dragged my long and cold fingers through my hair, sighing, frustrated at Ariel’s antics. I paced the street, blowing air out of my flustered red cheeks. I looked at my hands; still sore and throbbing.
The way I glared at her; no, I glared through her. God. Oh my God, she was so scared.  She had looked at me pleadingly, thinking I could forgive her after what’s she done. I left the apartment not wanting to be near her any longer. 
Out of all the people I knew, out of all the people I was close to, I never once suspected…
She knew I loved her, she knew I didn’t want her to get hurt again. I pulled out my cigarette packet my front pocket. I heard her impish little voice ringing around in my ear.
“They don’t call them cancer sticks for nothing.” She would say. I would scoff and roll my eyes, telling her that nobody called them cancer sticks. “Well, they should!”
Without her there to bug me, I put it in between my lips and I lit it up; inhale the death fumes, then exhale. My tense body relaxed.  There was a shooting star. I wished that she was there to bug me.
“Lucan!” A voice yelled, steadily getting louder. I silently rolled my eyes at the universe.
“Nevermind, I wish for a Big Mac.” I mumbled.
“Did you see that suicidal star?”
Suicidal star. I swear, the names she comes thinks of for things. She calls books murdered trees, she calls teachers people who foster other’s dreams, she calls pencils penetrated sticks. “The stars are beautiful, just like you.” Ariel softly said, as she hugged herself tightly.
I rolled my eyes, she knew I was mad at her. She sees my cigarette; I mean cancer stick between my middle and index finger. Her eyes turned stone cold. I sighed. Crap.
“What is that in your hand?” she seethes. Her hands go to her side beginning to be balled into small fists. Her stance becomes rigid. I sighed again, dropping it on the floor. I dramatically step on it dragging my feet left to right in big swipes. I stare at her, shoving my hands into front pockets.
“What is in my hand?” I stare at her innocently. Her expression goes from slightly disappointed to furious. I turned around. I wasn’t in the mood. Maybe I was wrong and out of line, but I was about to leave her standing all alone under the stars.
“You know those things can kill you right?!” She wailed her arms around, her words made me mad. I spun around, pulling her by her collar.
“Yeah well you certainly didn’t care when you messed with it again!” I screamed, surprised she wasn’t gulping for air. Her facial expression turned soft.
“Don’t you dare pull that innocent face of yours! You know what you did was wrong! I thought you made a promise! We made a promise!” I said, not caring if anyone heard. “Do you even know what a promise is anymore?!”
“Babe--”
“My name is Luca.” I hissed.
She tilted her head, smiling softly at my hardened face. “Calm down.” She stroked the sides of my red face. How dare she! Who does she think she is?  She broke a promise!
“No! I won’t calm down! I refuse!--”
“Do you refuse politely?”
I ignored her, “You know why!? Because that promise lasted three whole years! It’s all gone because you went to the dark side!” I scream at her, tears started welling up in her eyes. They were starting to come to mine, too. Not out of guilt. Out of anger, the burning feeling that I would never be able to forgive her the way she forgave herself. “How much, huh? One blunt, two blunts, three? How much saliva did you use to seal that paper? Huh? How much did you cough?” She was beginning to turn around to walk away. I wouldn’t let her. Something; it was something telling me to say those things. The things I knew would break her the way I felt she needed to be broken.
“Did your eyes turn red? Tell me, Ariel, did they? Did you giggle out of pleasure? Was your room full of smoke? Did you have to wash your clothes five times so you wouldn’t smell like weed, you irresponsible, ungrateful, unthoughtful, self centered, idiotic, childish little bitc --”
She fell to her knees dramatically. All I could do was stare. Great, the infamous Ariel Water Works. “I’m sorry alright!” she exclaims, tears started falling from her eyes staining her cheeks. She tried to wipe them away, but couldn’t. Her tears burned marks into my soul, every tear cascading onto my pride, slowly burning it away. “I’m sorry, I was having a hard time and you were busy with work. You weren’t there for me, Luca, you said you would be there but you --”
I cut her off with a seething growl of, “Shut up.”
I sit down on the curb of the street where we were fighting and sigh. My hands covered my eyes that were threatening to spills gallons of water onto my cheeks. She stands next to me for a minute before heaving a breath, taking her seat beside me.
My shoulders slumped, regret instantly flooding into my body. I shouldn’t have screamed at her, I should have listened to her reason first. I am kinda to blame. She’s still frowning at nothing but I knew she was frowning at me, her boyfriend.
Maybe she didn’t understand why I said the things I said. Crap, I didn’t either. I jumped as her voice came out; sandy, deep, hollow. “Love is a struggle it’s not always fun and games.” She whispered. “Those who think love is all about repeating first dates and whispering words of love are stupid, pitiful beings who need to get smacked with a nice hand of reality…” She shakes her head at her random words. “I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry, too…I shouldn’t have --”
She clapped her hand over my mouth. “No, let me finish. I’m sorry for failing you; no, for failing us.” Her voice is rigid, her breaths deep and serious. “To blame, you are not. For I should have handled myself with more dignity and self control.” She juts out her chin, her jaw line clutched. I tried to hold it in, but I burst into fits of laughter.
“Why are speaking like Star Fire from Teen Titans?!” I push her away from me. “You dork!”I whisper, in the softest voice I could muster. Her beautiful smile spreads brightly across her lit up face. God, that smile could cure cancer.
In front of us, a young couple ballroom dances in front of us. They have to be no older than thirteen. We observe them closely before tilting our heads towards each other. “I give it a week.” She shrugs.
I nod my head in agreement.
Ariel’s words suddenly made sense.
Love is about the struggle and the fighting and the yelling, and those who think otherwise are pitiful for being so --
“Childish.” Ariel scoffs as the boy leaned down for a shy kiss.


The author's comments:

A few months ago i  had went through a relationship where my partner was addicted to smoking weed. Sadly we didnt make it through, but i had to write my emotion out right? 


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