A Leap of Faith
By Karina Avalani

I lost my opportunity, my once in a lifetime chance, my chance to shine. All my life, I’ve been a dancer. I’ve grown up a dancer. Everyone around me was a dancer.  My destiny was pretty much to be a dancer, but that all ended. My phrase now is “I was a dancer….and never will be one again.” After 15 years of dancing, you could say I was pretty good. But, I don’t want to try anymore. I have nothing to live for. Even though dancing was my life, he was too. I lost him, you see. He is no longer mine and never will be. Yes, I am alone. When I breathe, I feel the heaviness, the starving, the wish for it all just to go away, but it can’t. A heartbreak is upsetting, but this wasn’t a heartbreak. The feeling was more like losing the oxygen in your body, the air that keeps you alive. For the past 4 years, all I am is unnoticed shadow, blending in with civilization, drawing myself farther and farther away from others. Nobody spoke to me, nor did I want to speak to them. Every day, I hoped for it to get better, but it never did. I heard the whispers say “I am to try, to fight, to live with it, and to move on,” but who am I to listen to the whispers, when they care for everyone. When I see him, I feel even worse, and what hurts the most, is that he doesn’t notice me. I had no friends, no one for comfort, not that I wanted any. Well, that is, until I met you. You were not a lover, nor an enemy. You were just, you. I didn’t even believe in the constitution of having a friend, if that word was even possible. You were not oxygen, but comfort, something to stand on, and be balanced. I wondered how you found me, as I thought only whispers could hear broken souls, but you did. You picked me up, from the unearthed shadows, held me, in my miniscule hands, and brought me back to life. Even though I am more alive, I don’t feel like dancing.  It no longer was mine to do. I’ve learned from him, that dancing was not a part of my life, it wasn’t my destiny. I no longer follow the people around me, listening to their choice, and mimicking their every motion. Actually, the people that used be around me no longer exist, at least to me. You helped me realize that I am not alone in this world, but to find my way back to civilization, I need to be me. And to be me, I need to to follow my heart, and take a leap of faith.