I was lying on my bed. In my arms I held a rose, a tiny little thing. It was pale pink and covered in sharp thorns. It was a gift, from Jack. He gave it to me earlier that day. He laid it on my front porch, so it was there for me when I got home.
I had a rough day. I got some pretty bad news. My doctor told me I was going to need surgery, and that I might not wake up.
*ping*
I looked down at my phone. It was a text from Jack.
"Hello, love." I adored the way he called me that. Not just in text, but the way he'd say those words in my ears when we saw each other as he snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Hi."
“Can I see you?”
“Yes, when?”
"Now. I'm out front."
"Give me five minutes to get dressed and grab my bag."
I threw on a little black skirt, and a royal blue shirt, which I promptly tucked in. I tied my favorite sweater around my waist. It was a dark red color, with thin strings of dark blue. It had long arms and a baggy frame. Next, I grabbed my bag. It was studded with copper spikes. My black hair hung down, the loose curls bouncing with me as I walked. I put on blue eyeliner. It was the only thing that made my dark brown eyes seem bright, and happy. I knew I shouldn’t, but I needed to lie to him.
The first petal fell.
And now, especially now, I needed to seem happy, if not for myself then for him, even if I was dying on the inside.
I opened the window, and l stuck my head out. I needed to feel the wind on my face and watch the sun float above me. I couldn’t help but think this could be the last time I would look out my own window and feel the breeze twist through my hair. Another petal fell.
It danced down my cheek, lifted off and drifted into the painted sky.
I trotted down the stairs and flung open the door to find him standing there, waiting. He took me by the hand, and led me to his car.
"For you, Miss." He opened the car door for me. I jumped in. Would this be the last time I sat in his tan, leather seat? Was this the last time I’d run my hands across the smooth dashboard? As the door closed, another petal slipped out of the car.
"Where are we going?" I asked as he slid into the driver's seat.
"The field."
He drove with one hand on the wheel, and the other hand was entwined with mine, sitting idly in my lap. Jack and I used to go to our school's football field and watch the stars after the games. It was the source of so many memories for us. We had our first kiss on that field, our first hug, and we even had our first conversation on the 15 yard line. That year he had asked me out to homecoming on that field. He had the cheerleaders hold up the sign, and the marching band played “Let her go” and he stood there, on the 15 yard line and asked me to homecoming, in front of the entire school. It was amazing.
We jumped out of the car and ran to the center of the field. I tackled him and we both fell to the ground in a fit of laughs and tickling. We fell on our backs, laying next to each other. The silence pierced the air.
"So, surgery tomorrow right?" he asked quietly. I turned away from him. Blinking back tears.
"Yea." I responded loudly, almost snapping at him.
"I'll be there when you wake up."

I sat straight up. And the tears fell like a waterfall, cascading down my face.. It hit me like a truck. Two petals fell.
I, me, Rose, am going to have surgery tomorrow, and I probably wasn’t going to wake up.
"What if I don't?" I managed to whimper through my sobs.
He sat up, he slouched, his head hanging low. "Hey. Hey. Don’t say that. I'll be right there when you wake up." He put his hand on my back.
"But what if I don’t?!"
I spun around to face him, I could hear the air cry as I broke through it.
"You will wake up, I promise." He grabbed me by the shoulders as he gazed into my eyes. "I promise." He wiped the tears from my cheeks, and kissed my head.
I looked up at him. Speechless. I could only manage to mouth “Okay” I cried. And I kept crying. Jack held me, tighter and tighter. I fell onto my side, there was a quiet thud. He stroked my head, I could see the tears falling quietly from his cheeks.
“I will always protect you," he whispered down at me.
Suddenly the tears stopped, and I looked straight up at him.
I’m not sure why, but in that moment I believed that fool, that brown haired, blue eyed, fool.

I woke up a few hours later. He had thrown his letterman's jacket over me as I slept.My back was now facing him. He had one of his arms draped around me and the other he used as a pillow.
"Hello," I whispered
"Morning." He kissed my neck. I squirmed as his lips tenderly touched me and my hair fell down in front of my eyes.
I turned around and kissed him.
"What time is it, love?" He pushed the hair out of my face.
"3:21"
"I should get you back to your house. You have to be at the hospital soon."
"You're right, don't want to though."
"You won't get better without it. You need to do this."
I got up and collected my things.
I fell asleep during the car ride home. I was awakened by the jolt of the car stopping in my driveway.
"Stay with me for a bit?"
"I'll stay until you fall asleep."
I climbed up to the window and I changed back into my short shorts and a T-shirt. I crawled into my bed. Jack tucked me in and snuggled up next to me.
The next morning I woke up and he was gone.
My mom drove me to the hospital. Once I got there, I was told to change into scrubs. I went into the closest bathroom and changed, and that's the last clear thing I remember.  I hid in the bathroom for a while, I felt so small in my scrubs, the legs were so long in the pants that they nearly covered my feet. It’s weird how the last thing I remember is a bathroom. It had plain, boring walls with brown tile on them, stopping about three feet up the wall, and gray tiles on the floor that were cold to the touch. I could see my face in the stainless steel paper towel holder. I could tell my face was pale, even in the contorted image. The water from the sink was freezing, and my heart froze as I splashed it onto my face. The rest is fuzzy. But I know I climbed into a hospital bed. A needle was stuck into my arm and I drifted off into a thoughtless, lonely, cold sleep.
When I woke up Jack was there, his eyes watering.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Why are you crying?”
“I’m so sorry.” He kissed my hand. His kiss as gentle as it was, ripped two petals away.
“What? Why?”
“Rose, you, you aren’t going to-”
“I know,” I cut him off. He reached into his pocket. And brought out two rings.
"We each have one, so we are always holding hands" He began to cry as he put one ring on my hand and the other on his. Each ring separated into three smaller ones that were connected at the bottom. The outside rings each had a hand, and the hands closed around a heart that was connected to the middle ring. I like to think that my ring held his heart, and his had mine.
"I guess this is goodbye," I whispered.
"No. Not yet, please. I can’t. I can’t say goodbye." He fell to the floor, clinging to my hand. “You aren’t allowed to go. I can’t break my promise.”
"You kept your promise," I gasped.
"No.”
"You told me I would wake up." My eyes tried to shut, but I refused to let them. This couldn’t end, not yet.
"But I couldn't protect you. Not from this. I was supposed to protect you."
"You did, because I got to see your face one last time."
"So?"
"You protected the weakest part of me, my heart." And with that, I was gone. The rose had wilted, and the last petal had fallen. The wind carried it to my window, and, one last time, I felt the wind twist around me.