When I turned seventeen, I died. Or at least, everyone thought that I did.  
The doctors said that I was brain dead. Life support was the only thing keeping me alive. All I was, was a lifeless body connected to monitors. Everyone thought that I was gone except I wasn’t. I was screaming, shouting for someone to hear me, but they never do.
The car accident that changed my life forever happened three years ago. I was on my way to school. My music blasted in my car. It was my seventeenth birthday, and the day was supposed to go my way. But then, it didn’t. I went from being full of life to not having one. The instant before the car hit me was the last time I was me. Afterwards, I was just an outsider watching blood flow down the new dress my parents had given me. I didn’t get to say goodbye to them; they had left for work before I woke up.  
No one had the chance to wish me happy birthday.  
I've been confined to these four walls at St. Thomas Memorial Hospital since then. All day and night, I see myself lying motionless on that damn bed. Every time I try to move, nothing happens. I have no body, I'm the air in the room, forced to watch myself rot away. I’m not surprised that my parents rarely visit me. It was too hard for them to be with me, but it's even harder for them to let me go.  
I was all alone. The only person who kept me sane was Evan. He was the only light in the dark world that I had been forced into. Before I met him, I wanted to die. I was tired of looking at that mass of flesh that was supposed to be me. I was so deformed that I couldn’t even recognize myself. I just wanted my misery to end, but now, that would mean losing him. 
When I first saw Evan, he was dressed in scrubs. I originally thought that he was just going to take my vitals and then go and take care of all of the other patients, but he didn't.
From my invisible throne, I watched he pull out a book from his leather bag.
I didn’t even realize he had a bag with him. He stood by my bedside for a few minutes. He seemed uncertain about what to do next. He looked nervous, which I didn’t understand because I was just a limp body. He didn’t know that I was actually aware. He, like everyone else, thought I was an empty shell.  
"Well, um. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. Your parents said that I should give you company. Volunteering is the least that I could do." He stood up and paced around the room. "Apparently, I'm supposed to read to you...I guess. I kind of feel like I'm having a conversation with myself." He sat back down.   
"You aren't."  
"I don’t know what books you like, so... I feel ridiculous," he muttered and shuffled though his bag. I was starting to think that he was avoiding looking at me. "I'm Evan by the way."  
"I'm Lux-" Now I felt like the ridiculous one. Talking is pointless.  
"Lux is a cool name."  
My heart skipped. Did he hear me? 
"Or I think it’s a cool name. You’re the first Lux I've met," he said.  
"You just read my name off my wrist badge, didn’t you?" I asked. Why was I even asking? It wasn’t like he could hear me...but what if he could? 
For the first time in months, I let myself hope. Maybe, somehow, he knew that I was with him. I waited for Evan's reply.  
"I'm just going to start reading to you." He opened the book. "I brought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I figured that most people like the series, so you might. But if you don’t, sorry." He paused and looked at me, his eyes were full of regret. I realized he wasn’t apologizing for the book, he was apologizing for what happened to me. What he did to me. I knew he looked familiar. Evan was the one who caused the accident. I remembered seeing his face right before he hit my car,
Now, he had to live with the guilt for doing this to me. I know that I shouldn’t feel bad for him and I wanted to hate him because he could go out in the world and have a life and that I couldn’t. But the way he looked at me, I could tell that he would trade spots with me if he could. 
I think it was in that moment that I fell in love with him. A man I just met. Someone who couldn't meet me. Who will never meet me. There were a lot of experiences I would never be able to have. He was the biggest one of all.  I would never get to tell Evan that I forgive him. 
One hour, once a week. That was all he gave me.  
Every Wednesday at three for the last two years he came to read to me. I stared at the clock, willing it to go faster. Evan strode into my room with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in hand. He sat in his usual place near my bed and began to read. His blond hair fell just below his brow and covered his hazel eyes. I have dreamed countless times about running my fingers through his hair. My fingers that don’t exist.   
I stared at my hands, lying lifelessly right next to him. Why won't they move? It’s my body, I should be able to control it. I focused on them, trying to make even the smallest twitch, but nothing happened. Nothing ever does.  
I found my soul mate. He didn't.   
To Evan, I was the girl who changed his life forever. It broke my heart, because I loved him and he would never know. He would never hear my voice or see me smile like I do every time he's around. He would never know that I cry when he leaves, like he is doing right now. I watched him slowly stand up and glance back at me. He had the same expression on his face on the first day he read to me. 
He turned quickly away. The door clicked softly behind him. But, it wasn’t the end of the hour. It was the end of the book, the end of us. 
I called out to him to stay.  "Evan, wait- "  
He didn’t.  
I never saw him again. 
Saturday, November 12th, my nineteenth birthday, was the day I died.