Sunday, September 30th
I let out a sigh of relief as I look at my side of the dorm room. Finally I can start fresh and make amends with myself. I try not to let the images of him creep into my mind. You’re gonna be alright I try to tell myself. Only now am I starting to feel alright again. I look into my trash can and pull out the crumpled painting he painted of us. He paints like nobody I ever seen, with emotion and color and life. Even though I wish our relationship hadn’t ended the way it did doesn’t mean I should completely forget about him… or us. Us. What I wouldn’t do for “us” again. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss my old self. I miss us. Our love was its own being. Powerful and beautiful all on its own. We could conquer the world.. with our love. But that's over now.

Tuesday
I wake up to the sound of my phone. I quickly sneak a glance at my roommate, who's thankfully dead asleep. His name flashes across the screen like a slit of a knife across my heart.  “hello?” My voice is groggy from sleep. I hear music in the background and the giggle of girls voices. A party. Of course he’s at a party after all that. “Ayyyyyyeee baby, I-” I know he’s drunk so I hang up, turn my phone on silent, and fall back asleep. I dreamed of our high school days. We held hands everywhere and were that dreaded couple that was always by each other's side. So much that whenever he wasn’t by my side I felt like a little lost puppy. Pathetic.

Sunday, December 13th
I haven’t heard from him in months. My heart aches for the sound of his voice. No stop I try to tell myself. My flight back home for break is tonight and I just finished packing. I have missed my small town of Beaufort South Carolina. My cozy, subtle white house with its Burgundy accents enclosed with a black gate and a stone walkway. My favorite place in the whole world. I have missed the long summer nights where all of my friends and I would meet at Leonardo’s, the pizza place on the corner of Creekview Lane and Church Road. Almost everyday we would all go swimming in the local lake.  Friday nights we would always go to party after party. On Sunday’s my best friend Lisa would pick me up in her mom’s red Volkswagen and we’d go to 11 am mass, going to Leo’s after of course. That’s where we had our first date. He sat across from me and never took his eyes of me that whole night. My heart never felt the same since.

Wednesday
Of course he’s here. The whole town was probably lining up to tell him I am home on break. Every alumni from Creekview High knew about us. His old red truck pulls up in my asphalt driveway. I can already taste the tension in the air. I watch him walk up to my door as the moon’s light graces the sharp yet beautiful edges of his face. He stands there for about two minutes before he knocks on the door and my heart sinks in my stomach trying to hide itself from him. Just as I have been doing for the last 6 months. I know I have to answer the door because, of course, my parents aren’t home.
“Hi.” I am standing in the doorway as his gaze travels the length of my body. His brown hair effortlessly perfect. His hazel green eyes sharp and glistening. His jawline… man his jawline. Lisa’s words pop into my head “His jawline could seriously cut glass.” A smile spreads across his face. That smile is dangerous.
“Maddie… How are you?” he says a little too confidently.
“What are you doing here.” It comes out more vicious than I had meant and I can tell it hurt him. His smile is slowly fading.
“ I.. uh… I have missed you.” his strong structure gets weaker and weaker.
“Oh wow great story let me tell you about the one where you broke my heart. Oh wait you know that one pretty well.” I say anger steaming up inside of me. I have always been a forward, tells-it-like-it-is girl and he knows it.
“Maddie calm down. I don’t know how many times I have said I am sorry. I am sorry I kissed Lisa, I am sorry I drink too much, and I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never meant to. Ever! I know I messed up and if I could take it all back I would! But you know I have a problem and I am trying so hard to fix everything! But I can’t do it alone, I love you Maddie.” His eyes are watery but everyone knows he doesn’t cry, ever.
“ What both of you did can’t be fixed with sorry’s and I love you’s.” tears form in my eyes and sadness fills my heart like a balloon.
“Maddie please… I will stop drinking and going to parties and even looking at other girls and… just please come with me… I need to show you something.” I know I shouldn’t go but I miss just being in his presence, so I nod.
Sitting next to him in the truck floods my mind with memories of us in this very truck. Good and bad. I can tell his mind’s being flooded too as he sits there for a few seconds longer than normal. He starts the car and we are on the road before I know it. Ten silent minutes later we pull up to the old abandoned schoolhouse. It looks just as I had left it. I brought him here on our third date and we have been hanging out here ever since. It was where we first kissed. More flooding. We walk over to it, still not speaking, and he opens the door for me. I don’t bother saying thanks. It’s dark but as soon as he turns on a flashlight pointing at the wall my heart stops. Colors swirled into a beautiful painting that covers the whole wall. It’s magnificent, exotic, breathtaking, magical… it's amazing. It is a painting of me. Just me. My blonde hair swept up into my usual messy bun, my blue eyes (he even got the perfect shade), and of course my awkward “I like you a lot” smile. My least favorite smile but it was always the one spread across my face when I saw him.
“You like it?” Looking into his eyes I can see the desperation. The plead.
“I...I...I love it. You are so talented.” I say softly trying not give him the benefit of the doubt. I try to keep my gaze on the painting but his stare burns a hole in the side of my head as he turns to me and takes my hand into his.

Thursday
I wake up with the feeling of his touch still lingering on my hand. It's like I am falling in love with him all over again… but then again I always felt that way with him. My favorite part of being with him. After our little trip to the school house Lisa calls me. Surprise surprise. I don’t answer but I stay up all night thinking about it. I think about everything that happened and think maybe I should forgive them. I am not one who likes to hold a grudge. But I won’t just let it slide that easy… but I will give it time. Right now I could use a best friend. I pull out my phone and call her.

Saturday 11pm
No...no! My heart feels as though it is ripping in two. This can’t be happening. The tears stream down my face. All I feel is fear.

Sunday 1:30am
I have been waiting in the hospital for an hour now. The tracks of my tears still remain on my face. I look down at my shaky, clammy hands as I replay what has just happened in my mind, trying to interpret it. A drunk driver hit him. This is only suppose to happen in movies, not to me!  Alcohol is officially my worst enemy. Suddenly the distant sound of footsteps moves closer to me and I look up to see a doctor looking helplessly down at me with the first non-pathetic sorry face I have seen today. He leads me down the hall and I follow like a sad eager duckling. “He's in a comma” are all the words my brain will let me hear as we walk through the depressing hospital hallway (yep just like the movies except ten times more heartbreakingly unbearable)  into a small poorly lit room. I don’t bother looking at the doctor's face. My mind runs a million miles an hour as the doctor exits, closing the door. I stand hovering over his limp body. I run my fingers over his hand. It feels so normal, yet electrifying,  to feel his skin against mine. It feels as though we are the only two people in the world.  I pull a chair closer to his hospital bed and plunge myself into it's embrace, the closest I can get to comfort, and wait.

Sunday 3:30am
And wait.

Sunday 5:30am
And wait.

Sunday 7:00am
With zero sleep and only my thoughts I decide I have kept my feelings bottled up for too long. “I love you…” I feel tears fill my eyes to the brim for the hundredth time today, “I know you probably can’t hear me but I love you. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you and I have never stopped. The way your eyes can always read my thoughts even if I try to hide them. The way your hand fits so perfectly in mine. And best of all the way being around you makes me feel like the most special girl in the world. Every day without hearing your voice felt like a piece of me was missing. You can’t die. You need to wake up. I need you.” My voice cracks as the tears roll down my cheek like paint dripping down a canvas. Suddenly someone grabs my hand.
“Maddie.” His voice, weak, but like music to my ears.
“Andrew.”