“Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.” This quote, written by Emily Dickinson is my absolute favorite quote of all time.  My name is Sean, and I am a proud homosexual hispanic. A few years ago I would have never said those words in the same sentence. That was until I met the love of my life, Ethan, a homosexual white man.                                                Some people may consider me to be from the “ghetto”. To be honest I wouldn't necessarily disagree. My family isn’t rich or fancy, but they care. My father is a construction worker, and my mother is a parking lot attendant. I have 2 older brothers who work in the food industry, and a younger sister who is a sophomore in high school. I was the first person in my family to go to college. I got a full ride to Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Since I was 12, it was always my dream to go to that school. I wanted to go there to study business, plus it was close to my home.                             My whole life I’ve always been reserved. I never talk about my personal life to anyone, especially my family. I always feel like I’m going to disappoint them. It was very hard for me to come out to them. There’s no one in my family who’s gay, and they don’t really associate with anyone of that sexuality. Because of this I’ve lived in fear my whole life. Never wanting to face the fact that I am who I am, and that’ll never change. It wasn’t until I almost lost the one person in my life that understood me, that I wasn’t afraid anymore.                                             I walk through the doors of Harvard. I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous and excited at the same time before. I was ready to make something out of myself. I was roaming the halls trying to find my room when I bumped into something. A tall blonde headed boy with icy blue eyes. I saw him and I couldn’t speak. Not ever had I ever been so mesmerized with someone.                                                                                “My bad ”, he spoke. “No, it was my fault. I was trying to find my room.” I stuttered. “Do you need help? Here let me see.” He took the paper that held my room number. “Oh, you’re just a few doors down from my room, I’ll take you.” he offered.         As we were walking down the hallway I couldn’t stop staring at him. Every time I found a guy attractive I would get over it in the matter of seconds. But he made me feel completely different. I didn’t know what was coming over me. I was so deep in thought that I forgot I staring.                               “Are you okay?” the blonde boy asked. “Oh, yeah sorry, I was just thinking about a few personal things.” I reply. “Okay, well here’s your room.” “Thanks for showing me where it was” “No problem... what did you say you’re name was again?” “It’s Sean Casarez, your’s?” I ask. “My name is Ethan Burke” “Cool, well it was nice to meet you Ethan.” “You too” Just when I was about to close my door, Ethan stopped it. “Maybe I could show you around the campus sometime.” he suggested. “Yeah, that would be very nice of you.” “After you get your things unpacked why don’t you give me a call?” he asked. “Sure, here” I agreed giving him my phone. “Great, I’ll see you in a few hours or so.” he said. I nodded, then went in my room.               I was in the middle of unpacking my things while trying to comprehend what just happened. Did he like me or was he just being nice? Is he even gay? I had so many questions going through my mind. But with everything going through my head I kept thinking of my family. They weren't homophobic, but they weren’t brought up to understand this. Going through this my whole life made me feel unworthy of anyone’s love. I have always pushed those feelings far from me. Always trying to convince myself that I’m not gay. And now this boy comes in my life, and for the first time ever, makes me feel good. I was utterly confused.                                                                    I was done packing and I decided to give Ethan a call. the phone was ringing for about 7 seconds before I heard his voi          “Hello.” he answered. “Hey Ethan, it’s Sean. Are you still up for that campus tour?” I ask. “Yeah, I’ll come over in a bit.” We both hung the phone up, and soon after Ethan was at my door. We walked around the campus and ended up at a Starbucks. We got our coffee and started playing 20 questions.             “Where are you from?” I ask. “I’m from California” he replied. “Wow, the California?” I ask sarcastically. “Yes, the California” he chuckled. His laugh was just as amazing as his smile. I found out a lot about him. Like, his family is pretty wealthy and he has one sister. He broke his foot while jumping on a trampoline when he was 6, and his dad was a pastor. “Okay, my turn. What is your biggest fear?” Ethan asked. I was unsure of what I should say. But it came out anyway. “My family disowning me.” I say. “Why would your family disown you? Is it because of school? Because you’re already in Harvard.” After all these years, I finally said the words that have been dying to come out since I was 12 years old. “It’s because, I’m gay” He looked at me emotionless. “So am I” he finally said. I looked up at him teary eyed. He came closer and wiped my tears away with his thumb.                                                             “I was scared to come out to my family too, I mean my dad’s a freakin pastor. But eventually my parents accepted it” Ethan admitted. “That must have been very frightening for you” I say. “It was, but my point is, if a pastor could accept it, so can your family. You just have to give them a little time. They’ll come around.” Every word that came out of his mouth made complete sense. “But I still don’t think I can do it. I can’t come out to my family or anyone else, at least not right now.” I say. “That’s fine, take your time” Ethan accepted.                                 The next few months just included Ethan and I sneaking around. Things were going good until one day when Ethan’s family was coming to visit and he wanted to introduce me to them.                                                                                      “Ethan, I can’t” “Why not? We’ve been dating for 4 months now” “I’m not ready to do this, soon but not now, please understand.” I begged. “Well I don’t, I don’t understand because you’ve been saying this for the longest time.I want to be able to show my handsome boyfriend off.” “Why, why do you need to do this right now. I thought you said to take my time. I thought…” I was interrupted with the sound of his voice saying, “Because, I Love You” I was in pure shock. I knew in my heart that I loved him too, but I knew I still wouldn’t do it. I can’t deprive him of love for my selfish reasons. I had to let him go. “I think we should break this off” I told him. “What, I tell you I love you, and you breakup with me?” he yelled. “I just think it’s for the best” “Why?” he asked. I should’ve told him the truth, but different words came out. “Because we’re from different worlds. You come from white rich folks and I come from the ghetto.” “We both know that’s a big load of bull. Race has nothing to do with this, but whatever. I’ll see you around.”               I was in my room thinking about all the things I should have said. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Ethan. It’s been a month since Ethan and I broke up. I wanted nothing but to have him back. I love him, and I just let him go.                     I was finally trying to get him back. I couldn’t let him go and I didn’t care what people thought of me. I sent his favorite chocolates and movie, ‘Love Actually’ to his dorm. Apparently that didn’t work, because when he walked passed the next day he completely ignored me. I guess the whole chocolate thing was kind of weak. But I’ve never done this before. I was watching ‘Say Anything’ one day when I got the idea to stand out of his window with a boombox. I thought that it would be romantic but Ethan thought differently. As I was standing out the window he threw eggs at me. I don’t even know how he got the eggs. After a little evaluation I realized the whole ‘Say Anything’ tribute was cheesy.                                                     I didn’t know what he wanted from me or if he even wanted me. I looked back on everything I did for him and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I walked to Ethan’s door and knocked. He finally answered after 7 knocks. “What do you want Sean?” Ethan asked. “I have to talk to you, Can I come in?” “Fine” he agreed. I walked into his room while he sat on his bed. “I’m stupid, I understand that, but I had to let you know how I felt.” “Okay, go on” “You were right, the whole thing about your parents and the race was a lie. I just didn’t want you get hurt by my selfish decisions and I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was worth it for anyone to love me. I thought you deserved better, I still do. But I had to tell you something before you completely let me go.” “What” he asked. “I am so unconditionally in love with you. Do I have any chance of you taking me back?” I ask. He stared at me with tears in his eyes. “I love you too” he finally said. I crashed my lips to his and everything was perfect. “There’s just one thing that I have to do” I say. “What is it?” “I have to come out to my family.”                 I had set the date with my family. I was finally going to be completely free. I walked up the steps of my parent's porch with Ethan. “Are you sure it’s okay if I’m here?” Ethan asked. “Believe me, I can’t do this without you.” My mother answered the door. “Sean, mijo, you’re finally here. Come on in!” she squealed.                                                                                   I walked in and was instantly greeted by my family. “Everyone if you could sit down in the living room, I have to tell you something.” Everyone sat down and it was just me and Ethan standing. “I have wanted to tell you guys this for the longest time, but I never knew the words until now. This may come to you as a shock but it has to be said. I’m gay and this is my boyfriend Ethan, who I love.” I said. “No! This is not going to happen. Not in my house and not around me. If you’re gay then you are no longer a part of this family!” my dad yelled. Before anyone can say anything my dad stormed out.          “Ama?” I questioned. “Mijo, I couldn’t care less about your sexuality. As for your father, it’s going to take him some time to get used to it. He wasn’t raised around this. I do agree he’s said some terrible things, but you know he doesn’t mean it.” she said. “But he’s my father. What kind of a dad disowns his own child.” There was a long pause before anything was said.“I don’t care if you’re gay.” my older brother, Daniel said breaking the silence. My other siblings agreed with him. “Thank you so much. It really means a lot.” I told them. “As long as you’re happy, I’m fine.” My younger sister, Mya said. I always knew this would happen. That’s why I’ve held off on it for the majority of my life. My dad and I have never touched the subject. He just kind of assumed I was straight. Everytime my dad brought up girls I would always agree with whatever he said about them. Whether it was about their looks or if they were “wifey” material. I guess I did gets his hopes up by making his think I was into girls. And even though I always knew this would be his reaction, it still hurts me. But I know it would hurt a whole lot more if Ethan wasn’t with me.                    Ethan and I walked to the back living room and sat down.“Maybe we should just go.” I whispered to Ethan. “What?” he questioned. “Obviously my dad’s not going to get a grip by tonight, so let’s just go.” “No, I know people like this. My dad is a freakin pastor. Do you think he welcomed this with open arms. My father reacted the exact same way as your dad. I’m going to talk to him.” Ethan demanded. “What? No, I don’t know what he’ll do if you go talk to him. He’s not in the right state of mind right now.” “I don’t care. I want to see if I could get through to him.” “Ethan, he won’t. At least not right now.” “I wasn’t asking for your permission.” he said leaving the room to the kitchen.                                                                              “Mr. Casarez?,” Ethan called. My dad turned to the sound of Ethan’s voice. “I’m not talking to you about my son,” my dad simply said not looking at him. Ethan sighed. “You know, my dad is a pastor. When he found out about my sexuality he wasn’t very thrilled, but he accepted it because I’m his son, and he loves me. You’re son is still the same boy you raised him to be. He got into freaking Harvard. Obviously you did something right, and him being gay didn’t affect that. You’re son loves you, he respects you more than anyone. And I love him, more than anything in this world. He’s everything than I’ve ever wanted. I will never do anything to hurt him. So, please don’t shut him out.” There was a long silence before Ethan left the kitchen where my dad was.                                                        “I told you, let’s go,” I tell Ethan. I said goodbye to the rest of my family and Ethan and I were headed out the door. We reached the fence when my dad ran out the door. “Wait, Sean!” my dad yelled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said. I would never disown you of kick you out of this family. I am so proud of you mijo. I just never expected this. But after hearing what Ethan said I realized how wrong I was. I love you, and if you want to be with a man, who am I to tell you not to.” I instantly ran up to my dad teary eyed and hugged him. “I love you dad,” I cried out. He was crying. There was only one other time that I have ever seed my father cry, and that was when his mom died. “Don’t let this one go” my dad whispered in my ear. “I won’t.” I said smiling at Ethan.                                        After all those years I’m finally free to be myself. My family accepts me and I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Life is the best that it has ever been. My name is Sean, and I am a proud homosexual hispanic. A few years ago I would have never said those words in the same sentence. That was until I met the love of my life, Ethan.