T,
Hi T, I don’t know why I’m writing this kind of stuff, maybe because I’m crazy? Hahaha! Whatever, you won’t see this anyway, I have no courage to send this to you. I just want to express my feelings that I can’t tell to you. Even if I tell you, I know there’s nothing will change. I know you’re still not going to like me, I know that you only see me as a friend. Ouch! Friend? Hahaha! That’s the word that insult me, because I love you T! I love you more than a friend.
T, I know that even if I tell you several times, that I like you—no, wait, scratch that. That I love you, you’re still not going to love me, I love you, and I loved you since the first time we talked. Love at first talk? Oh, I’m being crazy again, I know there’s no such thing. T, why are you like that? You’re too kind that I assumed we have the same feelings for each other, well, I’m right because that’s only my presumption. You’re too kind that I realize not all “kind” is good for others, because I can’t help myself to fall, and unfortunately, I fell really hard, T. Since high school until now that we graduated from college. I still love you. Why can’t my feelings just fade?
How many times did I say to you that I like you? I can’t even count it on my fingers. The first time I admitted it to you, you just laughed at me. Do you still remember that? That’s our JS Prom, we don’t have a partner so we decided that we should just date each other. You didn’t know how happy I am that night right? It meant nothing to you, but for me it meant a lot. I treasured every moment that we had including that night. You thought I was just drunk that’s why I said that to you, but T, I was not, but being you, you just laughed about my sudden

confession. You just said… “Let’s go Vanessa Faye, you’re already drunk, I’m going to take you to your house.” I still know your exact line right? Before you left me at my house, you kissed me on my forehead and said, “Take care, Vam. You’re special to me. You’re a friend.” Double kill!
When you were sick, I took care of you for one week. After school, I would go straight at your dorm just to take care of you. I would write the lessons you missed in your binder while I was cooking your food. Do you still remember when you hysterical because of your fever? You were screaming her name, Trisha. Yup, it’s just funny that I’m the one who’s at your side but you’re still searching for your ex. Do you love your ex that much?
Why don’t you just forget about Trisha, T? She cheated on you. She doesn’t love you! You were crying on me because of her. You promised me that you would move on, that you would be doing this for yourself, you even told me that “Starting tomorrow, I will stop thinking about her” I was so happy for you that time, but you failed me, T. After a few days I saw you with Trisha at your dorm, you were only wearing short while Trisha just came out from the bathroom. I was just looking at you, waiting for your explanations when you said, “We got back together, vam”. Five words that broke my heart into a thousand pieces, you don’t know how much effort it took just to restrain my tears to cry. I fought my urge not to cry. I just smiled and said, “I’m happy for you, T.” You just smiled at me and said, “Thank you, Vam.” I saw the spark on your eyes, your sadness just fade, you came back to your jolly personality, always smiling and happy. I’m really happy for you T, even if my heart is broken into a pieces.

I admit that I want her to leave you again, there are times that I’m praying for that. I’m so bad right? You can’t blame me, I just want to be selfish sometimes, but when I remember how sad you are, I’m retracting my prayer. It’s okay that I’m the one who’s hurting, just not you. I can tolerate seeing you happy with Trish, just not to see you crying because of her.
Your relationship with Trisha stayed strong until we graduate on college, you said to me that you have a plan to propose her once you have a savings, you even joked me that I should lend you some money so that you can buy a ring, and I answered the most stupid answer in the world. I said yes. I love you that much, T. I can give you what you need just for you to be happy.
Until that day came. You proposed to her, and she said yes.
BEST WISHES MR. AND MRS. ROXAS.
-Vanessa Faye.