Charlie

Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted the window seat on the plane. There is no better feeling than when the plane takes off and you watch yourself escape into the clouds. Everything is so big down there but all begins to shrink till you see nothing but clouds. It's nice to feel bigger than the world sometimes. Even if I am just on a plane. I can think without the chaos that exists below me. As I am looking out the window, I run my hand across the foggy thick window and I can feel the tiny wheezing fan blowing above me. The woman next to me keeps trying to talk to me about her mug collection that I do not care about. She is wearing too much dangly jewelry and has too many flowers on her sweater.  I hear the flight attendant ruffling bags of peanuts and opening pop cans. All airplane food makes me sick. And why do they have peanuts in a confined space when it is a severe allergy to many? Makes no sense to me but what does my opinion matter right. I continue to look out the window avoiding eye contact with the mug lady. All I can think about is that I am going home for the first time since I graduated college three years ago. I do not want to revisit the night of graduation. I left the night after I graduated without telling anyone but my dad. I messed up that night and knew I had no choice but to leave. I went to Europe to pursue my art which was a major success.  I opened my own art gala in France that ended up being the hot spot for all celebrities art for their homes. I got into the best parties with the most important people. Anyone would think that achieving my dreams so successfully would be enough since so many people don’t but it still felt like something was missing. That is why I am going back home to Chandler Hill, Arizona. I ran away three years ago and now it’s time to see what damage I’ll cause by returning.

“Charlie! Oh, my god, you look amazing. It is so great to see you!” My best friend Sam yelled attacking me with a hug as I struggle through the door with all my luggage. I don’t want to hug I just want to get through the door.

“Hey Sam, do you want to help or you just going to hang on me,” I said with a sly smile. Don’t get me wrong I love Sam more than anyone but she is just a little more cheerful than I like to be. I decided to stay with Sam for a few weeks till I decide whether I am staying here for good or not. We’ve been best friends since we were in preschool. It was kind of like we were always best friends because of our history. We are completely different but work pretty well together. Her house is very quirky and cute. It has a lot of different colors going on. Her couch is bright red and the walls are all white with my paintings everywhere. It’s actually nice to see her support. She shows me to my room that has a beach themed. The bedding is baby blue and there are sea shells everywhere. I love the beach so I can make do with it. I look in the mirror and realize I really need sleep. My dirty blonde hair looks like a tangled mess and my bloodshot eyes aren't complimenting the green of my eyes.

“You have to tell me everything about Europe! I couldn’t believe it when I saw you in People magazine. The whole town was talking about it,” she said talking a mile a minute.

“Oh, I am sure they were. When is this town not talking?” I said snarly because this town always gets into everyone else's business, but I am in the tabloids so I guess I asked for it.

“August saw you in the tabloids. I saw him buy every single magazine that you were featured in,” she said. I paused everything.

“What. Why ” I said.

“I don’t know, maybe he just wanted to see what you were up to because you never called any of us.” she said. I felt bad because she is right. I didn’t even say goodbye to anyone when I left. I just left. I didn’t expect her to understand but I probably should have kept closer to Sam while I was gone.  I’m trying to keep my cool with Sam while unpacking but the minute she mentioned August I cannot stop thinking. Did he buy the magazines because he has feelings for me? Or was it just out of curiosity? Or was he buying the magazine for another girl and I just so happened to be in it. I need to see him but I cannot come on strong and scare the crap out of him. I haven't seen him since graduation night which is pretty s***ty of me. August and I met in college and cliqued instantly. We met at a party that we thought was stupid and spent the entire night getting drunk and making fun of everyone for our own enjoyment. We just didn’t care about the things other people did.  After that party we were always together. No one could ever make me laugh harder or see such goodness in the world before. We had an unspoken bond that always drove us together. We were never labeled as a couple. We didn’t need a label to tell us how we were supposed to act and feel. We knew we only wanted each other unspokenly.

“Well Sam, not everything works out they way we want them to. Let's just unpack.” I said quietly. And we did.

August
“Wake up hun! It is already 10:30, we have to meet with the caterers at 12:00,” Caroline yelled from outside the bedroom door.

“Ugh,” I groaned. I am so tired that the thought of acting like I care about steak or chicken is brutal. I smell eggs and bacon but I don’t like to eat when I just wake up. Can’t she do this without me, it’s not like my opinion matters anyway. I have a meeting with a band at six today and I have to prepare. I started my own music label last year and it has been pretty decent so far. Caroline doesn’t really understand it though. She’s not really that big into music but I do love her. She tries really hard to do anything to make me happy and that’s all that matters. I get out of bed and immediately feel the draft that I was escaping from under my blankets a second ago. I throw on a sweatshirt and shorts and go downstairs to hear the critical plans Caroline is going to have to my day.

“How did you sleep! I have breakfast for you if you are hungry. But we have to leave in an hour for the caterers and after that, I am meeting with the florists. You can come if you want but the caterer is mandatory for you to go to,” she said talking so fast I can barely take it all in.

“Well I am meeting with a band at 6 tonight so I have to prepare the studio,” I said basically saying no to her offer but not trying to say it.

“Oh okay. That is fine but go shower and get ready so we aren’t late,” she said smiling while putting her hand on mine. I lean down and kiss her hand right next to my ring. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with someone like Caroline. We are so different but I don’t think anyone has ever made me such a priority in their life before. I walk upstairs and jump in the shower so I don’t stress out Caroline. When I get out I hear the doorbell ring. It is probably the package I have been waiting for but then I hear a person.

“Hi, um does August live here, I got the address from a friend it might be wrong I’m not sure,” the person said. I can recognize that voice from anywhere. It is Charlie.

“Well, you came to the right place! Hi, I’m Caroline, August’s fiance. And you are?” She said smiling. I already know Charlie is smirking and thinks Caroline is annoying. I can feel it from all the way upstairs.
“Right. Well, I’m Charlie Hales. August and I went to college together,” she said matter of factly.

“Oh, how wonderful! It is so great to meet you, Charlie. Come in, come in. I will let August know you are here,” Caroline said with absolutely no clue. I never told her about Charlie but not for any specific reason. I honestly don’t know why I never told her. I guess it just didn’t feel right. Charlie was in the past.

“Hey, hun you have an old friend downstairs. Charlie?” Caroline said walking into our bedroom. I was still in a towel dripping wet.

“Oh yeah, she must be in town. She’s been in Europe,” I said trying to not give away too much information while still holding up my towel.

“Okay well I will tell her you are coming downstairs,” she said. I quickly get dressed and spike my hair up and put on some cologne. I take a deep breath and go downstairs. Just knowing she is so close makes me feel weird but good. She is sitting on the sofa wearing one of her short flowy dresses with the hipster patterns she always used to wear. Her hair got longer and blonder. She turned her head and I look at her for the first time in three years. I looked at her in the tabloids but there's nothing like seeing those green eyes in person. I swear they got greener and brighter.

“Hey there Andrews,” Charlie said while standing up to give me a hug. We always used to call each other by our last names. She put her arms around me and gave me a hug that I’ve been wanting for so damn long.
“Hey there Hales,” I whispered while holding her. I heard Caroline in the kitchen and I quickly let go and sat down on the couch across from Charlie.

“I’m going to bring out some snacks! I’d love to hear all about August in college!” Caroline yelled from the kitchen. She walked in holding a veggie tray and I knew August wasn’t going to touch one thing. She hates vegetables. She used to say she refuses to eat like a rabbit. Caroline sat the tray on the table and Charlie just looked at the veggies and then smirked at me with that famous smirk of hers.

“You look so familiar where have I seen you before? Wait a second, you were in People magazine on that yacht with all of those celebrities!” Caroline exclaimed.

“Oh yeah. I opened an art gala in Paris and I guess a lot of people liked it,” Charlie said shyly. She has never been cocky and doesn’t like when people make a big deal out of her accomplishments.

“That is so cool. August why have you never told me you knew someone practically famous. That is amazing,” Caroline said. Oh s***. Now what am I going to say. I know I should be honest with my own fiance about everything in my life. But Charlie is toxic. Not necessarily her but our relationship. It's addicting and thrilling. Wanting to be with Charlie is the same feeling of anticipation you get on a roller coaster. Your heart is beating fast and you are scared s***less yet excited.  You know the drop is coming but it is not quite there yet. The minute I can feel her, smell her, and kiss her I am dropping at a complete ninety degree angle. But then the ride is over on her terms.

“Yes August, why not,” Charlie said with a smile. I know she is fascinated with where this is going to go. It is like she knows I am so captivated by her right now and knows I am confused as hell as to why she is on my damn sofa.

“Well….. I guess it is because she left on graduation night and never kept in touch. So I just didn’t really think twice about it. Just another person from my school doing well for themselves,” I said like a smart ass but Caroline did not catch onto it. I am pissed that she thinks she can waltz herself in here acting like she didn’t do anything. So she can be introduced just like another person. She’s not being treated like some close good friend because she’s not. I have no clue where she has been or what she has been doing. She was always a flighty person and you never knew what she was going to do next but I never thought she was going to pull that move on me.

“Yea he is right. I have been really busy with the gala. I actually came by to see if August wanted to go to this concert with me tonight. It’s one of our favorite bands from college. It would be nice to catch up,” Charlie said.

“That sounds so fun! But don’t you have a band to check out tonight August?” Caroline said.

“It can wait,”I said smiling because I want to hear what Charlie has to say.

Charlie
I apply my burgundy matte lipstick across my lips and throw on some blush. I am wearing a maroon flowy tank top and black shorts with a pair of slip on black leather vans. I straightened my hair and it reaches the middle of my stomach. I never noticed how long it's gotten. I have an anklet on my right leg that I have had since college that August gave to me. I walk out into the living room to get Sam’s opinion on my outfit.
“You look awesome. Are you excited?” She said.
“I am more nervous than anything,” I said. I yelled at Sam after I got home this morning because I felt like such an idiot for showing up to August’s house when he has a fiance. She said he knew he was engaged but isn’t convinced it is what he wants. Well it looked like it was what he wanted to me. He was so hostile towards me and I felt obligated to eat his perky annoying finances vegetables but when he hugged me I felt like who we both were before together.
“Well don’t be nervous, just be you. He fell for you once and I’m sure he can do it again,” she said trying to reassure me. The doorbell rang and Sam went to go answer it as I go grab my purse.
“Hey, Sam! How are you,” August said in the doorway. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a blue fitted shirt that made quite obvious he has been working out. His brown hair was spiked perfectly and his eyes were so blue against his tan skin.
“I’m doing pretty good. I’m excited to have Charlie back,” Sam said.
“Hm. Aren't we all,” He said with a hint of sarcasm.
“Hi, I am ready when you are,” I said looking at the both of them. August stared at me like he has something to say but couldn’t say it. I don’t know whether it is bad or good.
“Alright, let's go,” He said.
“Bye Sam,” We both said at the same time and smiled at each other for a millisecond.

We are shoulder to shoulder in a huge crowd. The sun is setting but it is extremely hot. The music is alternative rock and it is pretty good. We are both on our third beers. The cup is cold but is sweating and making my hand wet. It tastes so good and feels good to loosen up.

“This is pretty awesome,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. I’m just trying to break the awkwardness.
“Yea, I guess,” August said looking straight ahead and acting hostile.

We continued majority of the night just listening to the music and downing beers. August refused to look at me so I had to occupy myself somehow. My head starts to feel dizzy and my lips become numb. I can’t really hear the music anymore, it's just a blur. We are on our 5th beer. I know it's not affecting him but it is definitely affecting me.  I think we drank because we wanted to avoid talking. I was about to go get another beer when August pulled me back towards our spot.

“August can you talk to me?” I said weakly.
“What do you want to talk about? ” August said half-heartedly.
“I don’t know anything to break the silence,” I said.

“Okay then why Charlie. Why are you here.” August said. I snapped into reality real quickly.

“I don’t know. I guess I just missed home. What is wrong August? You are being so hostile towards me when I am just trying to hang out with you,” I said while looking down.

“What is wrong? Did you seriously just ask that question? You can't come here and act like everything is fine when you never called or even texted me. This is the first I have heard from you in three years,” August said. His eyes were daggering into mine. His anger was beginning to heighten.

“Seriously Charlie, do you know how bad you hurt me. Do you know how it felt when you just left,” August shouted? I could see the pain and ache in his eyes like he was desperately holding onto something.

“August, I’m sorry but you caught me completely off guard graduation night. I’m sorry I am showing up like this but once I left I had no idea how to even talk to you after leaving,”I said with tears slowly coming down.
“Charlie I proposed to you! And you left! I waited for you for over a year and you gave me nothing. I had to see you in a s***ty magazine to see what you were doing in your life,” August yelled. Graduation night August took me to our very place on a mountain in Arizona and proposed. It was everything you could hope a proposal could be but I got scared and told him I had to go right away.

“I messed up. I know. But not a day goes by that I don’t regret saying yes,” I said crying even harder.
“Well you missed your chance because I really loved you,” He said and choked up at the end.

“August do not act like you do not still love me. I saw the way you looked at me today. You are my best friend August, even when you're not right by me,” I said desperately. Nothing seemed like it was in the right place anymore.

  “I don’t know,” He said. I rubbed my hand against his and looked at him in the eyes. His forehead was sweating and tears were against the rim of his eyelids.

“I love you so much and always will. I don't care if you're getting married. It doesn’t matter because that ring should be on my finger. Nobody knows you like I do,” I said.

“You have been gone for long. I don’t even know you anymore. You don’t know me,” He said.

“Marry me,” I said. I might have just said and done the most irrational thing. I just asked an engaged man to marry me and I haven't seen him in three years. Most would say I am nuts but I know what I want.

“What?” He said.

“August, Marry me. I have never been so sure about something in my life. I didn’t come home because I missed home I only missed you,” I said. He looked at me surprised and confused. This is something I would never do and he knows it. I thought he was going to walk away but then he grabbed my face and kissed me so hard I felt like I was falling into him. I never wanted him to stop but when he did he looked into my eyes and whispered “I love you Hales,”.