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A Fairy Tale Ending
She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand why I held her so tight, almost unable to let go. She didn’t understand why tears rolled silently down my cheeks and left small wet spots on her shoulder. She didn’t know that when I told her I loved her, it was possibly for the last time.
- - -
She was my soulmate. I knew this because, just like everyone else, I’ve been watching a small countdown on my wrist ever since I was a little girl. I was four when Dad first explained the watch to me. It read: 18 years, 3 months, 7 days, 4 hours, 52 minutes, 10 seconds. That’s how long I had to wait before finding my soulmate.
I couldn’t wait to grow up and meet my Prince Charming. He would be tall and handsome, and he would bring me flowers and shiny jewelry. He would take me to dinner at a fancy restaurant, followed by a ride in a horse-drawn carriage, like something from a fairy tale. We would have the perfect love story.
Three years ago I sat on a park bench, my watch reading 5 hours, 31 minutes, 47 seconds. I watched as a girl and her grandmother squealed in excitement as they watched the final seconds tick away on her young wrist. She must have been no older than ten, and she was already finding her true love. Undoubtedly, she was the envy of all her friends. She slowly stepped out onto a patch of grass and looked around. I saw him a second before she did. A young boy dressed in his nicest clothes, complete with a bow tie and slicked-back hair, peeked out from behind the shoulder of a friend. The two kids were motionless as they made eye contact, until at last the boy extended a shaky hand and presented her with a flower. It was just like a fairy tale. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, knowing that my turn came next.
4 hours, 29 minutes, 16 seconds. Maybe Prince Charming would bring me a flower, too. I was sure of it; it was the most romantic thing I could think of after seeing the last match that was made.
3 hours, 14 minutes, 52 seconds. A group of teenage boys ran through the park, tackling a friend who stood aloof. They peered over his wrist for a minute before leaving him alone, just in time for a girl in a pink sundress to appear. Another love story began. This park was a popular place to go to meet your soulmate.
1 hour, 17 minutes, 03 seconds. I smiled at an elderly couple walking hand in hand down the sidewalk. I wanted that to be me some day.
00 hours, 14 minutes, 33 seconds. Any moment I would meet him. My soulmate. I took a deep breath in and out, but nothing could stop the butterflies in my stomach.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 59 seconds. I stood up then, smoothing my skirt and tucking a stray hair behind my ear. I heard the soft voice of a girl behind me talking to herself. She whispered to herself about meeting her true love, and reassured herself that nothing could go wrong, for whoever it was, they would love her unconditionally. We were going through the same thing.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 03 seconds. I heard her footsteps as she started to step forward. I didn’t look at her, too focused on what would happen to me next.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 02 seconds. She was right beside me. I could see her dark brown hair out of the corner of my eye. She stood several inches shorter than me, and her tiny frame trembled in anticipation.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 01 second. She turned towards me, and I watched in slow motion as she tilted her head back to look at me. For the first time I looked into her beautiful brown eyes, which stared back into mine.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 00 seconds. It was her.
- - -
Looking back, the idea of a Prince Charming seems like such a silly desire. The dinner dates, the expensive gifts, and the fairy tale love story meant nothing. That wasn’t what love was. Love was comforting her after watching a scary movie, and taking walks around the park where we met. It was winning her a stuffed bunny out of a claw-machine, or giving her the last bite of my chocolate bar. It’s only been a few years since I met her, but that’s all it took for me to learn how a love story really goes. I wrote my own fairy tale. But she doesn’t understand that all too soon our fairy tale will come to an end.
As I press my lips to her forehead I remove my hands from around her waist, enabling me to read the frozen numbers on my watch: 00 years, 00 months, 00 days, 00 hours, 00 minutes, 00 seconds. The watches bring joy to so many people, but there’s a darker side to them. It’s something nobody talks about, but that ultimately can’t be avoided.
Silently I twist my watch around, carefully removing the black plastic cover to reveal a second countdown. 00 hours, 00 minutes, 43 seconds. That’s how long I have left to live.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 37 seconds. I wrap my arms around her again, this time tighter than ever.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 23 seconds. All this time I let her believe that we would be together forever, and and in the process I even started to convince myself.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 17 seconds. She stands up on her toes to kiss me for the last time.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 08 seconds. She squeezes my hands and looks up at me with the same brown eyes that I saw that day at the park. It feels like that day was a lifetime ago, but at the same time we haven’t had near enough time together.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 05 seconds. She understands now. I’ve been protecting her from this, but it could only go on for so long. After today I won’t be here to protect her at all.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 03 seconds. A small whimper escapes her trembling lips as tears roll down her cheeks.
00 hours, 00 minutes, 02 seconds. “I love you” are the last words I ever hear her say.
00 hours, 00 minutes 01 seconds. I choke back a sob to respond. “I--”
00 hours, 00 minutes, 00 seconds.
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