I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness, I squinted a little maybe my vision is just wonky? I tried to sit up which I found a little hard to do but as soon as I did so I was met with a bang to the head, I cringed instantly and feel back into place. I reached my hands up with great struggle to feel a solid surface rather close to my face; I then did the same with the sides to feel that they were also rather close. It took me a minute to realize that I was stuck in a small dark place, it was cold and my entire body felt numb, had I been laying down for a long time?. As the feeling came back to my body I felt a throbbing pain in my chest, my eyes bolted open at this unexpected pain and I instantly clutched my chest to feel something wet. I lifted my hand away from my chest and my eyes widened to see there is blood, as I look at the barely seeable substance my mind begins to process what’s going on, why I am in this small space, why everything hurts, even why I’m bleeding… it all comes into view.

“You look beautiful!” a familiar voice resonated through my mind and shortly after that a clear picture of a person replaced it, I recognized it as my best friend Lisa.

“I’m so jealous!” a sweet bashful voice carried through my head and yet again a picture of a person was paired with the voice which I noticed belonged to my little sister Ekaterina.

Shortly after that a large stream of voices moved through my head until they all stopped, once they stopped all I heard was a calming voice and the familiar feeling of a cool yet comforting hand in mine returned to me

“I do” I heard a deep gentle voice calling through my mind, it was a man’s voice but I could barely see his face.

“I do” I heard in my own voice, but it wasn’t beautiful and calming, it boomed and echoed through my head as if that phrase were a curse the moment it left my lips.

Once those words were said joyous cheers erupted from around I saw my own smile as I walked side by side with the person I had just said those life changing words to, everyone applauded us as we went down the aisle. As soon as we were out of view the strange gentlemen started to carry me away from everyone, I remember looking at him with a questioning look but he ignored me and just ran further and further until we were at a place I didn’t recognize. It was at the top of a hill with a breathtaking view, I remember how much both of my feet ached from running in heels for so long and nearly tripping over my long dress half the time but once I saw the view I didn’t care.

I ran to the gentlemen embracing him tightly “I love you” I could hear my voice with that horrible echo yet again but as I said those words I felt something cold and sharp go against my back, a knife… why?.

After I remembered the knife everything I had just remembered faded out and I was back in my current situation… that’s right… I got married… and my lover… he…

Killed me…?

All the pieces slowly came together, I’m in a coffin made of solid oak… in my wedding dress… how long have I been in here..? I tried to move the cover of the coffin with my hands that I now realized were gloved in beautiful white lace which was now stained with the awful crimson color of blood. I tried to make another attempt to move the coffin but the pain that was surging through my body was now overwhelming, I didn’t let it stop me though. Bringing my hands back up to the coffin cover I tried to move it again but before I could use anymore of my force the cover was gently cracked open as if it were as light as sheet of paper. My pupils dilated as my eyes were met with soft blue light streaming through the crack. I gripped the edge of the coffin pushing it open a bit more managing to bring myself into a sitting stance. I looked at my surroundings, lanterns with blue lights covered the room, so I’m probably six feet under but why am I not covered in dirt..? I looked down at the wound on my chest, it didn’t ache as much but I was still having trouble moving around. I used all the strength I had to lift myself up and stumble out of the coffin landing on the ground with a thud.

My long dress sprawled across the marble floor, I looked at my surroundings, is this my burial place? By the looks of it, it looked like it cost a fortune. The room was spacious with some noticeably fake white flowers in delicately made baskets that hung from nails on the sides of the walls. The blue lights in the lanterns that I had first noticed when out of the coffin shined around the room making it give off a glooming dark feeling that sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the goose bumps arising on my skin causing me to clasp my arms and try to warm them which didn’t have much effect. As I looked at the room covered in lights there was one spot in particular that was shadowed, I narrowed my eyes to see what looked like the outline of a person, it didn’t look like my shadow and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one down here so how can there be a shadow? I slowly got up to my feet swaying slightly as I made my way over to the shadow.

Before I got very far I fell again… I sighed in frustration as I allowed my hands to rest in my lap. As I was doing so I felt something very cold take my hand, I looked down to see nothing on my hand but as I looked past it down at my own shadow I saw that the shadow that I was looking at earlier was holding onto my hand. Why could I not see the person that this shadow belonged to? I continued to look down at the shadow that was now laying against the floor holding onto my hand’s shadow “what’s your name?” I tried to call out to it and shortly after I asked a short response followed “Lance” the voice was calming and deep clearly belonging to a man “Lance, what a lovely name I’m…” I glanced off to the side as I couldn’t remember, have I really been down here for so long that I’ve forgotten my name? A troubled look settled on my face as I tried to remember “Iris” I heard the deep voice again “Iris? Is my name Iris?” I looked down at the shadow tilting my head, making it nod “how do you know?” I said as I released my hand from the shadow’s the feeling of the cold that once enwrapped it was now gone.

The shadow pointed to a plaque across the room that was encased in gold and small sapphire jewels. I shakily stood back up with better balance on my feet hesitantly walking over to the plaque to see beautiful cursive letters; I read over the plaque here lies our beautiful girl Iris, Date of Death: June 1, 1946 my jaw dropped to the ground, I quickly spun around to the shadow that was now standing against one of the walls “what year is it...” I asked as my heart began to beat more rapidly, the shadow merely shrugged seeming just as clueless as me. I clenched a hand into my hair but it felt strange, I gently brought a couple strands to my line of vision to see that the curly brown hair I used to have turned a crisp snow white, and it was no longer full of untamable curls, it was now boringly straight just sitting on my head. I let the strands fall through my fingertips anxiety filling me until I felt the cool touch of the shadow yet again “come with me” his gentle whispery voice called to me “what why?” I questioned trying to turn and see him but he was yet again cast against a wall “come with me” he said again “Lance come with you where..?” I tried to step toward him but he drifted to the other side of the room.

I didn’t know what was going on and Lance was just starting to scare me “come with me” he called a third time a physical hand outstretching through the wall, my grey eyes trembling at the sight of the hand that had just come through the wall, it looked pale and lifeless, the hand gestured for me to come closer but I stayed put slowly backing away and then turning on my heels away from it sprinting over to the other side of the room. My eyes caught sight of a stairwell, I kicked off the heels I was wearing and ran up the stairs, the stairway seemed to be in the shape of a spiral “Iris” I could recognize Lance’s voice and I looked down to the back of the stairwell to see his shadow hanging at the bottom of the stairwell making me regret looking back was he going to hurt me? Is he going to chase after me? I didn’t stop to think about the questions flooding my mind. I kept going until I tripped over my long dress, the bottom of it now covered in dust and dirt that was probably lingering on the stairs.
Lance’s shadow sped up the walls of the stairs until it was cast in front of me “Iris why do you not recognize me?” the shadow slowly took on full human figure the man standing in front of me… seeing his face terrified me. It was the man that I married and the man that killed me on that exact day… “why are you here?!” my voice raised slightly as I crawled back on the stairs until I felt them shifting under me, the old stairs must’ve finally been giving into their years as they started to crumble, I fell slowly through the hole that was created, I braced for impact but I could feel that cold touch that was unmistakable I looked up with fear in my eyes to see Lance, I rather fall than be in his grasp a second time “let go!” I yelled at him tears peeking at the corner of my eyes “why would I ever let go of you? Don’t you remember? We promised…” Lance mentioned as he tightened his grip on my hand. My eyes drifted to his chest to see he had the exact same stab wound
So…
Did we…
Kill each other…?
Noticing that I may have been remembering what had truly happened Lance jumped in “your parents didn’t approve of the marriage, so we pretended to get married in secret but then went to the place we promised to go to take our lives” as these words were uttered the event that I had remembered earlier replayed in my head. Now that Lance mentioned it very few people attended our wedding, just a couple close friends and trusted family members, they probably didn’t know we planned to die but they weren’t supposed to anyway. When Lance took me to that hill… we had both had knives that we had tucked away so they weren’t noticeable and we took them out bringing each other into an embrace, I began to deeply remember my hand that wouldn’t stop trembling as I brought it to Lance’s back we both counted
1…2…3
After that I could once again remember and feel that cold sharp feeling that always made me cringe. I looked back at Lance who was now struggling to keep hold of my hand, the stairs beginning to crumble yet again “Lance!” I yelled not wanting him to fall but as I called out to him the stairs gave way and we were now falling. I closed my eyes tightly blackness once again trapping me, I could feel Lance slowly intertwine our fingers giving me a feeling of comfort until my back slammed against the ground making my entire body jolt. I opened my eyes and all I saw for a couple seconds was white but my vision slowly cleared and what I saw next was a dandelion covered field, my eyes drifted around the peaceful clearing until my eyes landed on Lance who was laying next to me “Lance, wake up” I shook him slightly making his eyes slowly open “are you alright?” I questioned as I looked down at him “mostly” he answered rather sarcastically as he sat up.
We both stood up together but Lance stopped me before I could even take a step forward “Iris, your wound…” I looked down expecting to see the stab wound that had always been there but it wasn’t, my dress was completely white, completely clean as if it had never happened.. “Lance, yours is gone to” I pointed out and he looked down at his tux to see stain free white fabric “how strange” he muttered “Lance, does this place seem familiar to you?” I questioned as I looked at our surroundings more closely “it’s the hill… the hill we took our lives on…” as we looked around something felt off, I didn’t feel like my body was in tune with anything that was happening as I looked around I froze as I saw myself running up the hill is that me?! It can’t be… can it? As I watched her run she came to me and stopped placing her hand on mine making both me and Lance fall silent and stand in awe.
“Don’t do it, you know there will be nothing for you if you do” she said with a smile as she slowly pulled out the knife how is this happening? How am I talking to myself? I hesitantly reached out and flinched as I felt the cold blade on my fingertips, slowly I grabbed the handle and once the blade was fully in my hands there was another flash of white. I opened my eyes yet again to see Lance standing in front of me “is everything alright Iris?” he questioned a glint of worry in his eyes “what do you mean-“my words slowly left me as I looked around to find I was standing in the place of my marriage “I do” Lance said with a smile making me quickly swivel around to him “I-I do…?” I responded making the small group of people that had gathered stand and cheer.
While everyone was cheering Lance took my hand and began running its happening again… why does it have to happen again?! Lance kept running until we were once again standing on top of the hill where we would take our lives, he slowly brought out the knife, I shuttered slightly “you ready?” he questioned looking at me with intent “Lance” I said sternly “I don’t think we should do this… do you realize we will never have a life together if we do?” I questioned him as I took a slight grip on his shoulder and he slowly began to realize I was right “so what if my parents don’t approve? We can talk to them together and make it work” I said with a gentle smile taking his hand softly “after all a life spent alive together could mean a lot more than a life we never got the chance to have” I said gripping his hand more firmly and he nodded in response. We headed down the hill together palms connected and fingers intertwined so, this is why I woke up? I should’ve been dead in a tomb but instead I was woken up to stop something that I know realize was a bad idea, I much rather we live together and start our new life then spend an eternity rotting away wondering what would have happened if I dropped the blade? Now I know