Her hand laid there, palm open towards the sky. Letting everything slip away: hopes, dreams, goals, all of it just slip. She didn’t need it. She only needed him. Sad as it is, she loved him, and she hated herself for it. She was just a teenager, young and dumb as they say. Lost in her imagination of fairytale endings and happy thoughts. Hormones through the roof, heartbeat pounding, awkward crushes, and fashion phases. In reality she was nothing of what they thought she was. She was complex. Confused within a maze of walls in her own mind, with a lack of communication to someone on the outside. Lost without a map, and compass. She could never find her way back to the person she once was. “People change” they say, and to her it felt as if she was the only person who changed. She didn’t smile as she once did, all her positivity gone. Wrecked. By him. Not him as a person, but the effect he had. The words he spoke were nothing but pure, yet the actions he committed were completely tainted.
Cold was all he felt. Within himself he was pained, to see her eyes that once flickered with such brightness like the sun on a summer’s day, now dull and heavy. He loved her. With everything he had, he loved her. From her soft lips, to her warm hands, all the way down to the sole of her feet, he loved her. He spoke nothing but sweet words, and loving promises. Yet she cried in discrete, his sweet words slipping away when he pulled away. His loving promises being broken when he looked at her with animosity. Tears were the product of such emotion. How could she be happy when their constant was nothing but a never ending loop?
She enjoyed being right, and dreaded apologizing. Even when it came to him. Although it was easier to admit her wrongdoings to him, it was also easier for him to twist her words. Everyone knew they were toxic together. They all saw and heard the hatred and love. They were incompatible, on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. She was fire, he was ice and every time they became too intense, they switched roles. She was as ruthless as a villain while he consumed everything in his path and wrecked it. They would never work, she knew that.
They would never be as happy as they could be, but they didn’t care. They threw things, argued, yelled, tore each other to shreds, but after their storm would come the calm. They apologized, explained, picked up the broken pieces, and fixed one another only to start back up. Because when it was good, they were great, but when it was bad they were horrible. She didn’t know how to fix this, she didn’t know how to fix herself, and she didn’t know how to fix him. They were two broken people, how can you complete the puzzle if what you thought was the final piece wasn’t even a part of the set?
He was her safety net. Her childhood best friend and her protection. Every time she was burned while playing with fire, she would go to him for healing. He was her teddy bear. Always there to listen, love, and understand her. He loved her. All he wanted was her happiness. He wanted to see the tears caused by the guy she loved, gone and replaced with a smile even if it wasn’t from whom she loved. All he wanted to do was thaw out her cold heart with the spark he felt when they were together. That every time he wiped away the tears, he wished he could kiss her in comfort. To feel her soft, frail hands hold his face as he kisses her. He wanted her. Yet she was too young to feel something real, or anything at all. And so she ended it. She let go. She put out the fire, let go of her bear, picked up the bottle, swallowed the tablets and let everything slip away. She laid there, her hands cold letting go of all her hopes and dreams, eyes no longer twinkling under the light, the fire in flames with another source as her bear stood in the corner weeping.