I looked down at my feet, my legs, my arms, my chest. One leg was bent in a position that didn’t seem normal. There was a blood pressure, heart rate, and oximeter machine in front of me. I was hooked up to at least two hundred different cords attaching to at least ten machines.
“Hello sweetheart,” The lady with the brown hair said, “You had quite the accident!”
“Where am I?” I grilled.
“You are at UMASS Memorial Hospital. You got into a large accident with your car three nights ago.”
“What!? I wasn’t even driv...oh wow, I guess I got upset.”
“Can I ask what you were upset at?”
“My boyfriend has been cheating on me, and I just found out last night. I was just taking my car for a drive to clear my head. I guess I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t care about my safety.”
“I guess next time you will be more careful.” She smiled.
~
One day during the second month of college, Alexia asked to speak to me after classes.
“Honey, you’re miserable, one-hundred percent of the day. I need to find you somebody that you can relate with,” said Alexia. In that instant I knew there wasn’t going to be a way to scoundrel out of this one.
“You know, I don’t need anybody,” I said puzzled.
“Yes you do!”
“Fine, but all I want is to have someone who respects me for my weirdness.”
“I got your back girl, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing.”
~                            
“Hey babe,” I called over to Max, as he was getting out of his shiny, hunter green, car.
“Hey beautiful, how were classes on this fine afternoon?” He walked over, placed his arm around my waist, pulled me close, and placed his lips on top of mine. I pulled away and smiled.
“Pretty well actually. Learned some really cool new things in chemistry. Of course Josh and Jake were doing their usual putz around. I mean what else is new.”
“Good, I’m glad everything was satisfying for you.”
“Yeah, I mean, a lot of the people in my class get the material more than me. I do understand it but it’s difficult and takes me an extra hour of studying.”
“You’re smart and you can do this. You’ve worked very hard to get here,” he smiled.
“You think so?”
“I know so. I love you for you and I want you to be the best you can be. Well I must be running lil’ munchkin’. I have a final exam later today and I need some time to study and make sure that I know these concepts,” he said with heavy hearted frown that traced all the way down to the ground.
“Well maybe I can see you this weekend, if the amount of my academics aren’t to rigorous and I seem to have some time.”
“Alright, well I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Not possible,” he leaned in.
“Yes possible,” I finished. I locked my arms around his back. I pulled my chest slightly off of his and cupped his face with my hands. I pulled his face close to mine. We locked lips, just like every time he tells me that he has to leave. Like they always say however, all good things must come to an end.
~
The next day, Max came to see me after his classes. Since it was a Friday, he wanted to take me to a movie to have a date. Just because that’s the kind of guy he is.
“Hey there! You look beautiful!”
“Why thank you.” I grinned.
“What movie did you pick?”
“Moonlight Lover.”I laughed.
“Are you kidding me? You picked a chick flick?” He was laughing so hard.
“What? You can’t say that it surprises you.”
“That’s true.”
When we got to the movie theater he asked me what I wanted for snacks.
“I just want some popcorn and a soda.”
“That’s it?”
“I don’t love movie theater food. It’s all junk. It’s bad for my body.”
“Whatever you say.”He bought out the entire movie theater of food. “Can I please get three boxes of sour candies, four boxes of gummies, three boxes of chocolate related products, five large bags of popcorn, and five sodas?”
Our purchase came to forty dollars and twenty-seven cents. I was so embarrassed.
We looked for open seats and we found some in the back. He told me that he wanted to share one of the comfy seats, so that it would be more romantic. I said you know what, fine.  He sat down first and I let him get comfortable in the position that he wanted. I then folded into his arms and sat next to him.
The ads had begun. The lights started to dim, indicating that the movie was about to start. I focused my hearing on his heart underneath my head. I could feel his heartbeat. I loved every second of this. We watched the movie and it came to an end about an hour and a half later.
“Well I had fun tonight,” I said.
“Me too. I love spending time with you.”
“Me too. I’m so tired now.”
“Do you want me to drive you back to school now so that you can sleep?”
“Yeah, please, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t. If you need sleep, you need sleep.”He smiled.
I ended up falling asleep in the car ride home.
~
That night I checked my phone. I looked up some of my new friends from Becker on instagram. There was a page for this girl named Savannah Kortle. I was intrigued by this and decided to look further. Sweat started to form a trail going down the top of my spine. Someone really needed to fix the heater in our dorm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The page loaded after what felt like an eternity.  I saw her profile picture of her kissing Max. I looked further down the screen on her profile and saw Max’s name, and this girl, Savannah’s name, with a date followed by two red hearts. I lost it.
I stormed out my room, grabbed my keys, unlocked my car and sat down. I turned on the ignition and sped out of my driveway. I was so pissed off. My body was in writhing pain. I was so angry at him and myself. I drove further and further away from school, trying to deposit my feelings behind me. I drove for miles. I came to a traffic light and thought, it’s midnight, nobody would be out on the road. I floored the gas and went right through the red light. Something bright and yellow shined in my face. A loud horn blasted my eardrums. I screamed, and saw the truck coming at me. I tried to speed up but I failed. I placed my foot down harder on the gas, and sped even more. It didn’t work.
~
“Honey, you were in a coma for three days, it’s best you don’t stand up right away!” the lady with the brown hair exclaimed.
I lay back down, not because she told me to, but because my head hurt.
“How much longer am I going to be here?” I asked.
“As long as we think you need. I could assume another couple of weeks, so that your bones heal and your brain shows less signs of trauma.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m in college and I have classes! I’m going to fail because of this!”
“Oh well I’m sure that your school knows and will help you.”
~

After a month at the hospital, I began working on physical therapy.
“Okay today we worked with basic exercises to help you regain movement in your legs. We will work on your arms tomorrow,” said Kayla. She was my physical therapist.
“Okay sounds good.” I grabbed my stuff together and walked to door. I waited for Alexia to come pick me up. I would be in physical therapy for the next two years. “I’ll see you next week,” I said as Kayla walked by.
“Yes. See you then!”
I always wondered how she could sound so cheery. Maybe everything in her life worked out the way she planned on it.
~
“Hey, so how was physical therapy?” Alexia asked.
“It was good. I did some exercise with my legs and we are working on my arms tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to help you with your stretches tonight?”
“Yeah, that would be amazing. Thanks for always being there for me.”We hugged. Alexia slid the key into the ignition and turned on the car. We drove away.
“I don’t understand how Max could’ve done that to you?” she questioned.
“I don’t know. To be honest I rather not think about it because he’s out of my life now.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think this was going to happen. I feel like this is all my fault.”
“No. Please don’t think that. You gave me some of the best days of my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I really appreciate the help that you gave me. Sometimes things just don’t work out and sometimes people aren’t really who they say they are.”
“Yeah, I know. I just feel really bad.”
“Well please don’t. It’s not your fault.”
~
I spent the next two months worrying about the day that I would have to face him again. I didn’t want to see his face ever again. I knew that when I saw his face, there would be an instant flashback of how he messed up and left me broken. Emotionally and physically. I would never be okay with what he’d done. I would never forgive him on any means. I wouldn’t even be his friend.
~
One day, I was sitting outside my dorm on the little picnic table. I wrote the few words that I had on my paper. I inhaled and exhaled, wishing the past month had never happened. However I realized that we don’t always get what we want.
“Babe?” Someone said with a familiar voice. There was a shadow and I looked up, and saw Max standing in front of the table. He had a look on his face that was so sad, and I felt in that moment, that he knew that he messed up.
“What are you doing here?” I muttered.
“I…just...came to say sorry, and that I didn’t know who I was then, and I know that I shouldn’t have cheated on you with her. I’m really sorry Bennie, I promise it won’t happen again!” he said with sorrow spilling over his eyes, and lips.
He had dark circles under his eyes from I assume from not sleeping. I contemplated over and over again, trying so hard to not make a decision that would cost me a lifetime of more unhappiness. I thought and thought and eventually began to give myself a pulsing headache where I was like, you know what, you can’t have another chance. You almost killed me. The sweat passed my cheeks and continued down over my lips. I licked my lips and spoke.
“Okay. I don’t accept your apology. You broke my heart and I can never forgive you for that. Please go away.” I grabbed all my stuff and placed it in my new North Face backpack. “Goodbye.”