Ever question the story of Little Red Riding Hood? Ever want to know the wolf's side? Actually, This is it, is the true story of the Little Red Riding Hood, or is it? Keep second guessing yourself as you travel through lies and stretches. Chapter 1: The Truth January 11, 2015
Dear Diary,
Today I was arrested, yes arrested! The injustice of the world has fallen on my shoulders! The media is obscuring everything! I have been charged with murder and attempted murder. I’m getting ahead of myself though.
As you know, it has been a harsh winter with ten feet of snow covering the ground. The snow has just recently melted, and with today being my birthday, I set off to visit all of my friends. I first visited Rabbit, who planned to give me a cake, but with all of the snow, was unable to get the ingredients for it. So, I continued on my journey visiting all of my friends. My next stop was Coon, who gave me a nice cool drink. I was much obliged, and chatted a while with him. I then set off for my second to last stop, Ms. Granny Hood.
Now, Ms. Hood is quite a character. She hangs up there in the clouds if you catch my drift. She's full of one too many cotton balls for my taste, but she invited me over just the same. So I went to visit Ms. Hood, even if she might be legally crazy. Now her granddaughter is named Robin Hood and boy the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She's definitely got a copperhead streak through her, and boy does she get fired up. I swear I can see fire coming out of her nostrils and smoke roll out of her ears. I almost called the fire company the last time I was at Ms. Hoods, Red gets crazy. Anyhow, I reached Ms. Hoods and she welcomed me inside. Now today she was even more in the clouds than usual. Our visit started off with her proclaiming, "That Red has got me in a tizzy! She comes barging in here demanding cookies from me and making me wait on her hand and foot! Well, not any more I ain't. I'm tired of doing everything for her when she does nothing for me except yell! She abuses me left and right, I ain't takin it no more!"
Well Ms. Hood looked me straight in the eye and says, "We gonna pull us a prank on her, yes siree." Her eyes seemed to take on a fire and she whispered the plan into my ears. Now, I have known Ms. Hood long enough to know that when she gets an idea you don't argue with her, you just do what she says and keep everyone from getting hurt or killed. All set and ready to go, we waited for Red.
We hear a knocking at the door and phase one of the plan began to roll. "Grand-ma, Grand-ma," Red's voice cooed. Red's tone changed. "Your favorite granddaughter is here and she wants cookies," she hissed. She entered the bedroom where I lied in wait. Ms. Hood had me wear one of her granny gowns with matching night caps. Boy I itched all over with as much lace as that nightgown had. It was all I could do not to scratch all over my fur. But I stayed still and waited for Red's assaults to begin.
"Boy Grandma, what big ears you have!" She began.
"Easier to listen to your needs," I replied, dying inside.
"And what big feet!" Pausing she studied my face and continued, "since when did you start growing a whisker beard and how did your teeth get so canine like?"
Knowing Red was quite slow like a turtle I answered like her granny would, "Why wishers keep my face warm at night. And my teeth need to be sharp to bite through your bones."
Well my remarks have yet to scare Red and she continued throwing insults. "Get up out of bed and get me cookies! You know better than to sit and be lazy!" She shouted. Red walked to the closet to grab day clothes, and boy did she get a delight.
"Agh! Get it off! Get it off! Granny! Get up! Get up!" Red freaked.
Phase two of the plan began and was running smoothly. When Red opened the closet Granny's "body" fell out. It was really a stuffed mannequin to resemble a body, but Red didn't catch on.
Red turned toward me with fire seeping out of her nose, "What did you do to Granny, she was going to make me cookies!" she howled.
Phase two was now turning over to phase three as my lines came in. "Now it's your turn," I announced with glee. "Two is better than one for a birthday feast!"
Out came one of the loudest screeches ever as a chase throughout the house and into the woods ensued. The plan was going perfectly until phase four.
Phase four was when I began chasing Red so that Ms. Hood could complete phase five. However, a lumberjack decided that this afternoon was a perfect time to start on gathering firewood. Well he saw me giving chase and automatically thought I was a bad guy after a poor innocent little girl. So he threw his axe and almost knocked me out. Naturally I stopped to set the record straight, but that old Red there, she wanted to get even with us. She began with a sob story of how I slaughtered her granny and I was going to do the same to her. Well he wouldn't even listen to my side and automatically called the cops after he tied me up. Well phase five was Ms. Hood running away to Florida for the rest of the winter in order to finish getting back at Red and getting some R&R for herself. I was chasing Red in order to distract her from Ms. Hood's escape.
So now I'm stuck in jail with no one to believe my story. Ms. Hood is running around alive somewhere drinking martinis and dancing with handsome men. If only I could prove she is alive. I guess I'll rot in prison until summer when she gets back and Little Miss Red Riding Hood goes tromping along making more stories up and harassing some other poor old woman.
Until I get out on bail,
Wolf