It was a slow day at work at NASA so me and my buddies were just talking about sports and if Jake could make a piece of paper into the trash can from twenty-five feet away when our boss walked in. The boss wasn’t mad at us for not doing anything because yesterday we did all he had planned for the week. But he brought us a machine he called the shrink ray.
Earlier today I was debating on not going to work and playing golf with my co-workers, but we figured the boss wouldn’t be too happy about us missing so we went and it looks like it was a good thing. At my house everythings a bit crazy. I have twins and they are 8 years old. They both play basketball, baseball, football, and a little golf. They are both in 3rd grade and they’re making straight A’s and it may be because I’m a scientist at NASA or because my wife Natasha is an accountant, needless to say we made some smart kids but I'm trying to raise them on sports a little bit. My kids names are Michael and Hunter, and my name is Jarred. I’ve always wanted to be in the same perspective as animals, bugs, and other humans. So that is why I became a scientist, so I could study the ways they live and what they think, and possibly find a way to experience this first hand. A lot of people just said I should study a bugs but I thought it would make more sense to make some that will let you study them on a new level.
Anyway, this contraption came into the room and all of our eyes got huge. They all knew about my passion and were a little excited for me to play with this gun little bit. All the boss said is that it was a prototype and I needed to be careful because they were unaware of how it would work on a human. Although this was disappointing I was still so freaking happy. The boss left and me and my buddies immediately started talking about what we should zap first.
I immediately say we should shrink some food incase one of us is shot. So we bring out some potato chips and set it up in front of the target (a piece of paper hung up in case we missed it, it would shrink the paper) and prepared to fire at the snack. The shrink ray really was easy to operate. It had two buttons and they both said, “shrink” So I told the guys i was going to press the button on the left. I counted down and pressed it…. But nothing happened. I then pressed the button on the right and heard a little click, but still nothing. Then one of my buddies said I should check for a cord to plug in, and sure enough there was a cord inside what looked like a glove box. I took it out and plugged it in. The machine was starting to make a little sound, then got louder and louder until it was all the way on. We could barely hear each other, so I gestured that I was going to fire it and my pals nodded their heads. I pressed the button and the machine got even louder. Then the end of it glowed a little bit, then fired. The chips went out of sight.
The room was quiet again, but we all just kept staring at the place where the chips were previously and slowly walked toward it. No one said a word because we rarely get inventions built by other people that actually work. As we got closer we all noticed a little smudge on the table that was about half the size of an ant. We all looked at it in amazement until Fred took tweezers out, picked one up, then ate  the chips we shrunk. He gave us that “They’re alright face.” and we all just lost it. We were just laughing hysterically. We were so loud we didn’t hear the machine starting up getting ready to fire again.
Then the machine shot and hit me right in the back and i began to shrink. Everything slowed down and I watched my friends grow while I shrunk. The only problem I was having was that my feet weren’t touching the ground. I was shrinking towards my center of mass, which was my gut. So while I’m shrinking I’m being elevated. By the time the shrinking is over, I’m what looks like 30 feet it the air, but was probably one foot. When I came down I felt like a feather, because I was so little. Hitting the ground was a breeze. Then I thought, this is my childhood dream, so I began walking to find little animals so I could study them.
My friends were looking all over the place for me but i didn't want to be found, so I ran instead of walked. I found the chips we shrunk earlier in the day and took them (bad idea). As I kept walking I saw an ant slowly approaching me, as i approached the ant. The ant then ran and tackled me. I thought he might of wanted the chips so I dropped one in front of me and backed up. The ant ate the chip as I stood there taking notes with my trusty notebook I always carry around. The ant definitely looked more intimidating up close. Its pinchers crunched it up and its mouth slurped the crumbs. I kept dropping chips and taking notes.
Eventually I was about out of chips so I dropped two or three and ran off to find another bug. I made it to the corner of the room and found an orange that hat nats flying all around it. The nats were still very small but I could finally make out the details of what they looked like. They all looked like they were newborns because of how smooth and reckless they flew. But they were still as annoying as they were when I was big. So I walked in another direction.
Since I never really stopped to look at everything from a smaller point of view I sat down, ate my chips, and looked around me. My friends found out that the best idea was to begin building an enlarging ray. So I sat and watched the five giants build and think while I ate my tiny chips.
I got up and began looking for things I could signal them with and found a pile of twigs for our next project to build a present for Mike’s mom. I took as many twigs as I could and ran to my spot and built a circle. I waited in that circle finishing off my chips until a c***roach came up to me. This guy looked mean too. I took a stick and waved it like I was innocent but he still approached me. This guy was a giant. I started to yelp because I knew I couldn't defend myself. But the ugly thing was really getting close so I javelin threw the stick and hit it right in the face. But it only got mad. So I ran. I kept running until I heard giant footsteps headed my way. I stopped, turned around and accepted my fate to and ordinary c***roach. It may have been a foot away when Steve’s foot stomped it. It got all kinds of guts all over me but I was just happy to be alive. Steve then put his hand on the ground and gestured for me to get on it. I got on and he took me to the table with my pals. John had went home and brought his daughter’s old Barbie Doll playset for me to stay in. As well as two popcon pieces and a couple drops of Dr. Pepper to live on until they finished the enlarging ray.
I’m not gonna lie the Barbie bed wasn’t the most comfortable thing I've slept in but I did appreciate the offer. My friends worked all night until they were finished and pulled me out to zap me. They sat me on a platform and began the countdown. I stood on the table awaiting the blast praying I didn’t get killed. The poof, I’m standing on a table at 6’4. I grew a couple of inches when they enlarged me.
My buds and I all had part at Mike’s house. Just us, and we kept this whole incident to ourselves. They all began calling me “Mini J” and always made puns about that 24 hours of our life.
I later made a book about the experience and used the notes in it, it became a best-seller and allowed me to go into an early retirement.