As I sat on the green metal bench on 10th street, people walked past full of Indifference, oblivious to the forbidden world of emotion. Pretending to merely trace the patterns woven into the metal, I checked for a new order. As my fingers reached the backside of the armrest, I felt the surface raise. I searched for the edge of a paper then pulled a folded piece of parchment from a hidden pocket. I stuffed the paper into my backpack then made my way home.
    As I walked into my generic house, my mom greeted me with a weak smile-one I hadn’t noticed was weak until I took Happiness for the first time. I quietly unfolded the paper once I was alone in my room. 300 ounces. If I hadn’t taken my Indifference this morning, my heart would’ve been racing.  I had never had this big of an order before.
    As I left the house an hour later, I made a typical excuse about forgetting some stuff at a friends house. I left before my parents could ask any questions.
    When I saw her, I should’ve been surprised. Carrie Shoults was the daughter of a politician. Her hands fidgeted nervously as she glanced around. 
    “300 ounces?” I asked as I approached her. She gave me the same curious look I get from all my clients. People don’t expect to see a fifteen year old girl dealing emotions.  “I’m just the messenger. Bird doesn’t want to show until he knows the client is trustworthy,” I spouted my usual lie.
    “Oh, then, yes. 300 ounces of Happiness,” Carrie said hesitantly.
    “And you want this by Friday?”
    “I’m throwing a big party this weekend. I would like to, um, provide some fun for my guests,” she said as she glanced around.
    “Got it. I need to make sure you understand that Bird is not responsible if you and your guests get caught with the emotions.” I waited for her to nod. “It’s a lot of emotion to make in three days, but Bird will do his best.” With that, I left to meet Gold.
“I can’t make that much Happiness in three days!” the eighteen year old protested.
“Gold, please. I don’t want to lose this deal. I’ll give you 35%,” I said. Gold pushed up his oversized glasses then stared at me. His hands shook and his foot tapped the floor.  He was on Excitement.
“Fine.” I knew I would be happy if not for Indifference, so I hugged him. As I pulled away, he gently grabbed my wrist and looked me in my eyes.
“Raven, I heard Red got caught for selling Love. He’s facing the death penalty. Please, be careful.”
“Well lucky for me I don’t sell Love. Happiness isn’t as serious of a crime. I’ll be safe,” I assured him.
    For the next three days, I would pick up vials of Happiness from Gold’s house before and after school and hide them in the meeting spot under the bridge. Still, Gold wasn’t able to make the emotion fast enough. We were running behind.
Friday morning came and we still had eighty-eight ounces left to make. I sat in the dingy room tapping my foot. As we waited for the liquid to cool, Gold turned to me with a sudden look of pity.
“What?” I asked.
    “I wish you would stop taking Indifference,” he said as he approached me. I sighed, having had this debate with myself many times before.
    “I can’t, Gold.  My parents and school and,” I trailed off.
    “Maybe if you’d stop, you’d feel what I do.” His voice quieted as his fingertips stroked my face. I muttered something about school then quickly left.
    It was only thirty minutes before the order was due and I was supposed to meet Carrie. As I scurried out the door to pick up the last vials of Happiness from Gold, my parents called me into the living room.
    “Raven, are you doing ok?” my mom asked. They both sat there on the couch staring at me. I could tell I would’ve been nervous.
    “Yeah of course,” I said.  My parents exchanged a glance then my dad spoke up.
    “Raven, are you getting involved in the wrong stuff? It's starting to get dark and you’re leaving. You’re always out and sometimes I think I see you have, um, emotions,” my dad said flatly. I placed a smile on my face.
    “I promise, I would never want to be like those kids at school who take emotions. Dad, trust me, I couldn’t live with myself,” I said lightly. Silently thanking their doses of Indifference, I left without any more questions.
    I walked as fast as I could without attracting attention as I made my way to Gold’s. He was waiting with the rest of the vials of Happiness. I quickly thanked him as I carefully placed the tubes in my bag. I avoided physical contact, realizing that for him, it was accompanied by emotions.
I only had five minutes to be under the bridge. I counted down the seconds as I speed walked. The bridge came into view, but so did the police. I could feel the panic trying to push through the Indifference. I hadn’t planned for this. I immediately turned down a street that led away from the bridge. As I waited, I put on my disguise of Bird. Once the men walked past the street, I sat quietly for a moment then dashed to the bridge.
Carrie stood there in a long coat and a hat. She stared at me and my embroidered mask. Silently I gathered the vials from my bag and the hiding spot behind a loose brick in the bridge. I put the vials in an extra bag and handed them to her. In return, she handed me a bag of money. I nodded at her and started to back away.
“Bird, I look forward to working with you again. I don't know why you do it, but thanks for bringing some happiness into the world,” Carrie called after me. Her words struck me.
I realized that I might not be taking Happiness, but when I allow other people to be happy I don't need to. True emotions will always shine through indifference. I had taken my Indifference, but when I thought of Gold, my heart fluttered.