I flip my pillow over for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. The heat in my room makes it feel like the sun never went down. Hell, it even kinda looks like the sun never went down. I have never seen the moon shine so brightly. The silvery light is filling my room and making it a real pain to try and fall asleep. Every time I close my eye, it feels like someone is holding a flashlight directly over my head. It has now gotten to the point where I am willingly out of my bed, which just about never happens.  I just need to close my damn curtains before my eye melts out of its socket.
As I crawl over to the window, I realize something incredibly strange: the light is moving, like a spotlight during a play. It’s almost like the moon itself is visibly moving. And as I get a closer look, I realize the moon is moving. It’s vibrating actually. Like a sort of moonquake. Then, as if things weren’t weird enough, there is now a tremendous dark tear creeping rapidly across the dusty grey surface. Suddenly, with a loud crack, the moon is split into two great halves. But that’s not all -- as the floating chunks of what was the moon begin to clear up, I can see something stirring among the debris.
Some ominous black shape is moving rapidly. But not only is it moving, it’s moving towards me. Well, not me specifically, but it’s hurtling towards the Earth like a meteor. Except it’s not a meteor, it’s a...a...what the hell is that?! I can’t catch a good glimpse through my bedroom window, but it looks like it’s going to crash really close to me. And before I know it, the thing crashes into my backyard.
As I fly out of bed and crawl rapidly down the stairs, I try not to wake the rest of my colony sleeping soundly. They have got to be the deepest sleepers in the galaxy. As I creep out the back door, I'm absolutely shocked by the state of my backyard. There are smoldering chunks of earth strewn loosely over the lawn, and a large crater the size of Jupiter has entirely swallowed what was once the swing set I had played on as a larva. But it wasn’t until probably a minute later until my eye found itself staring at what destroyed my yard. It seems to be a sort of space rock, only it does not look very...rock-like. I reach out to touch it, but I stop in midair. There is something moving on the inside, like people shuffling around. Suddenly, a rectangular part of the...egg, maybe?... breaks off like a door off its hinges, revealing an interior complete with button-covered walls, a few small beds, and three tall figures in suits. Space suits, to be exact. Or at least they look like space suits. They are suits that came from space, after all. But they look--different. Almost alien.
One of the figures removes its opaque helmet and reveals a weird tan colored face. He steps out of the ship and into my yard as I stare wide-eyed at his face. He has two brown eyes that move slowly, like he is taking in his surroundings. His hair is a weird light brown shade, and it doesn’t even have horns sticking out of it. He is doing this weird thing with his mouth--it’s forming some weird shallow U-shape while he bares his non-pointed teeth. One of the other two figures hands him a flag. It’s decorated with some bizarre pattern: a bunch of red and white stripes and a cluster of stars in the corner. He takes it and firmly plants it in the ground at his feet. “We did it, boys!” he exclaims in some weird, simple sounding language. He seems to be the leader of these strange alien creatures. “It’s been thousands of years, but we’ve reclaimed our home planet!” After a quick chorus of cheers for about a minute, the leader finally notices me standing right in front of him. Before I can say anything, he screams loud enough to wake my entire colony. He whips out a sleek looking weapon and shoots me in the thorax with a weird looking light beam. Now I’m starting to get angry. First this guy crashes into my backyard, and now he thinks he can just shoot me whenever he wants.
As I try to stand up and ask just what the hell he thought he was doing, the leader shoots me again, this time right in my second mouth cavity. Alright, he’s gone too far now. I let out a mighty roar and whip my tail around, knocking the weapon out of his hand with one fluid motion. Before he can retrieve his gun, I stick my proboscis right into his abdomen. His companions just stare, terrified as I suck all the fluid out of his fleshy body. When I finish, the shriveled husk of the leader collapses on the ground in a twisted heap. That’ll show ‘em.
The two remaining meatbags escape back into their ship and take off in the blink of an eye. I could definitely take them on, but I decide not to. I’ll let them tell the others what they saw. They all need to know that Earth belongs to my people now.