Bubbly Bridget (on the phone): Yeah, we can totally go to the mall later today.
Droopy Jim (with backpack): I guess my best just isn’t good enough. I ALWAYS get 99’s. I WANT A HUNDRED! (droops head low, walking back and forth in a sway). A hundred for goodness sake! Is that too much to ask? My life is such a tar pit!
Devin Boone: Little boy, back in my day, a 99 was considered a darn good grade! Now if you don’t straighten up them vertebrates and straighten up that act, imma pound you so hard, a 99 will be the least of your worries.
Jordan Shane: (pushes Droopy Jim aside, and starts towards Bubbly Bridget) Hey there, pretty eyes. You’re leaving such an impression on me, I feel like I just ran into a wall.
Bubbly Bridget: (confused) What? I don’t see any walls…But, your corny pickup line sounded nice.
Devin Boone: Now back in my day---
Jordan Shane: Aye old man, if you say anything else about your day, which was probably 20 decades ago, I’m gonna use my impressive star lineman skills on you (turns and winks at Bubbly Bridget)
Droopy Jim: Please don’t fight. Fighting just makes life worse, and deepens the black hole we all call life. (sulks away, breathing heavily).
Devin Boone: (picks at his nails for a few moments, and gets up slowly) Now, BACK IN MY DAY---
Jordan Shane: (charging towards Devin Boone) LISTEN, OLD MAN! DIDN’T I TELL NOT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY!
Devin Boone: You better watch it, son! (pulls out loaded caliber) Don’t start nothin’ you can’t finish. You are about to be as dead as a dodo. (shoots Jordan in the foot) Son, you just got yourself shot in the foot.
Jordan Shane: (falls dramatically, clutching foot) You...I’m gonna…You’re gonna wish you were….You fool!
Devin Boone: What did you just call me?! (pulls out gun, and shoots Jordan Shane dead)
*Jordan Shane moans for a few seconds, and then he goes gray
Bubbly Bridget: Why did you just kill my date?! He was gonna buy me dinner! Geez, now I’m gonna have to buy my own.
Devin Boone: Well, he was expendable.
Droopy Jim: Life is even more deeper now. I think the murderer will get me next then the whole human race and then all the animals, I will be the last one! Oh! What an owl pellet is life!
Devin Boone: Hey Beanpole where are you going?
Droopy Jim: e just to go regain my life from where the tar pit sucked it in. (sighs deeply and slides down to floor)
Devin Boone: YOU KNOW WHAT!! IM TIRED OF YOUR NONSENSE!!(shoots Droopy Jim dead)
Droopy Jim: Oh! How I wish this had happened sooner… Ohhh, how terrible life has been.
Bubbly Bridget: Well, good news! My boyfriend just called!! He said you got an a hundred on your test!!
Droopy Jim: Oh well, something to live for. Too bad I am already dead. (slumps over unconsciously)
Devin Boone: Well that’s that.
Bubbly Bridget: Wow!
Devin Boone: What?
Bubbly Bridget: Nothing.
Devin Boone: Tell me.
Bubbly Bridget: No
Devin Boone: I’m gonna shoot you.
Bubbly Bridget: (throws cell phone at Devin) NO! I want to get the new One Direction CD!!
Devin Boone: (falls over unconscious)
Bubbly Bridget: OMG!! Are you dead!! So cool!! I should post it on Twitter. And I quote “Bubbly Bridget just killed a guy!”
Devin Boone: I don’t go down easy.. (rises just enough to see over gigantic knees, shoots Bubbly Bridget in the head)
Bubbly Bridget: No! I wanted to go to the mall one last—
Random Dead Guy Collectors: (come in a collect the bodies as Bubbly Bridget falls over dead)



The End