I woke up in the hospital not exactly sure how I got here. The door to my hospital room opens and a cop walks in. 

“Hey June, I’m officer Jones, I need to ask you a few questions about the death of May.” 

“Who?” I replied.

“You don’t remember who May was?” he asked first.

“No, I don’t remember.”

Luckily, the nurse walked in to tell officer Jones that I had hit my head hard and had amnesia. Officer Jones had then left because I was useless in his case. However, I remember exactly who May was. I just didn’t know how she died.

It was the first day of school. When my best friend–Iris, and I got to school, she was greeted by her boyfriend Elijah. Elijah is the captain of the football team and Iris is the captain of the cheer team, so it makes sense why they dated. To my surprise Elijah was a very sweet and shy guy while Iris was outgoing. Complete opposites. We had made our way to homeroom, and I saw a new face. I went to say hi to her because Iris went to go talk with all of Elijah’s friends. 

“Hi, I’m June, you must be new!” I said.

“Hi, yeah, I’m May!” she replied.

I got to know May a little more in homeroom since we didn’t really do anything. I found out that she lived in an apartment all by herself because her parents died a few years ago and that her grandparents are supposed to be taking care of her, but they aren’t doing a very good job.

Iris and I walk to first period together and I ask her about May. 

“May seems very sweet doesn’t she” I say.

“Mmmm I don’t know, I get this weird feeling about her” Iris says.

During 4th period, the teacher assigned us lab partners for the year. My lab partner was this new guy, Walker. I talked with him all period; he seemed very sweet. He used to be on the soccer team before he moved here.  

As the school year went on Iris and I started hanging out more and more with May. I also started getting close with Walker. I think I was starting to like him.

Before I knew it, it was December, and midterms were coming up. I decided that I wanted to study with my friends for my classes. It was the weekend before, and I invited Iris, Elijah May, and Walker to study. We were all sitting in my living room and decided to study math first. Then Biology, English and History. We spent about 6 hours studying. It was 6:00 and I asked if they wanted to stay for dinner. May and Walker said yes but Elijah and Iris said they were going on a date. 

Once Elijah and Iris left, I ordered pizza and started a movie. I realized that May and Walker didn’t really know each other so they started to get to know each other. It was around 8:00 when Walker left. May and I talked about Walker before she left. I tried to be oblivious, but she saw right through me, and she knew I liked him.

It was the last day of midterms. Everyone was celebrating once we got through the last test. 

“So, what’s everyone doing for the break?” Iris asked.

“I’m going to San Francisco to visit some family,” I had said.

Nobody else was going anywhere. 

“I’m planning on throwing a party for the New Year if you guys want to come” Iris said.

Everything was normal when we got back from winter break except Walker and May were acting a little weird. A few days went by until I found out why. I was by my locker when Iris came up to me. She said she needed to tell me something. She told me about the party, and she saw May and Walker hanging out a lot there. Then Iris told me that they had kissed at the party too. 

“How could she!” I said a little too loud, so a few heads turned in our direction. I lowered my voice.

“She knew I liked him. Why would she do that?” I asked.

“I don’t know but I thought I should let you know,” Iris said.

I decided to confront May during homeroom. We had talked through homeroom, and she had explained that he was comforting her about everything that's going on in her life and that she had caught feelings for him. By the end of our talk, I just told her that I understand. I also reassured her that if she does end up dating him, I would understand and be happy for her. I lied. 

It was in February when things started going downhill.

A bunch of us were going on a Valentine's camping trip. May and I were riding to the campsite together. Iris and Elijah were going together, and Walker was going to meet us there. The campsite was 6 hours away. After 2 hours passed, I decided to ask her how things were going with Walker. She said that they were doing well and that she thinks he might ask her to be his girlfriend during this trip. I don’t know why that stung so hard, but this warm burning feeling just went through my body. As we were driving, she kept talking about him and every time she mentioned him, I kept getting more and more mad. 

When we made it to the campsite Walker, Iris, and Elijah were already there setting up tents. They had asked us to go into the woods to get some wood for the fire. The sun seemed to be going down as May and I were collecting sticks. 

A few minutes pass until May starts talking about Walker again and that’s when my blood really starts boiling because I still like him. She was starting to say something when I cut her off. 

“Ooo look! This is a good one for the fire” I say as I turn to pick it up off the ground. 

I hear a thud and I turn back around to see May on the ground with a bloody stick next to her. She was murdered. Filled with fear I run back toward the campsite, but I run into something and everything blacks out. 

The next thing I know is I wake up in a hospital bed when officer Jones tries to ask me questions. I still don’t know who murdered her. 

The next day, Iris, Walker, and Elijah come to visit me. We just sat in silence for a while. Iris and Elijah left but Walker stayed back for a while. He decided to tell me about May since he thought I had amnesia. He said that May had told him about me liking him. I couldn’t believe she told him. He talked about how much he liked her and how much they understood each other. The way he talked about her gave me that feeling I had the night of her death. Soon he left. 

Not long after Walker left, it hit me. The feeling I had that night. I was angry and upset at her. I hadn’t been that angry in a long time because I went to therapy to help control it. I have Intermittent explosive disorder. When I get too angry, I do things without realizing it. Fear had run all over my body again. 

I killed May… over a boy.

I laid there all-night thinking about how I killed May, but it didn’t seem right to me. I knew I did things without thinking about it, but I never imagined myself killing someone. I was having a hard time falling asleep that night. I don’t know if it’s the uncomfortable hospital bed or the fact I killed someone. I started thinking about that night again. It’s that I couldn’t remember exactly how I killed her. Then I remembered. 

I didn’t kill her. We were out in the woods looking for sticks and I had found that good one. I heard a scream behind me, and I turned around to see May on the ground and Walker hovering over her. Next thing I remember is him chasing me too, trying to get rid of me next. I started running in the opposite direction, but he popped out of nowhere in front of me.

That’s when I woke up screaming. I thought it was all a bad nightmare, but I was still in the hospital. I woke up surrounded by Iris, Elijah, Officer Jones, and a nurse. They had explained how I ended up in the hospital and it turns out that it was in fact Walker who killed May.

“How are you holding up June?” said Iris.

“I’m alright. Have you got any news for me?” I said.

“Well, if you’re interested and conscious enough, I’ll tell you about Walker. Turns out that Walker was an old friend of May’s, but it had been so long May didn’t even recognize him. When Walker was 7 years old May and him were playing near a construction site and May almost died but Walker’s father pushed her out of the way risking his own life. This whole time Walker’s mom told him that it was May’s fault he died. Walker held this grudge for a really long time and once he figured out May was who she was, he took his chance.”

“Well, that’s all I know so far, we’ll let you know what happened with Walker. Get some rest my love.” Iris said. Then they were all gone. 

I don’t really know what to think of this whole situation yet. It was so soon and all I can really think about is May’s death and how scared I was that night.