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The Girl In The Mirror
Later that night I knew what I had to do. I was going to stare in the mirror until I couldn’t anymore. That is what the doctor’s told me to do. Apparently to get over an eating disorder you have to be happy with your body, but I don't understand the point because if you have an eating disorder obviously you are not happy with your body and also why did I have to be the one to get caught. All the girls in my grade are anorexic or bulimic and it was just my luck that I got blamed as the only one. It is so not fair.
This couldn’t haunt me forever right. I mean I’m not super scared of ghosts or spirits or whatever you prefer to call them, but getting caught throwing up in the girls bathroom by the male guidance counselor is probably more scary then any ghost could be. I have always believed that ghosts might exist but I have never actually been around one and a part of me thought that maybe they didn’t exist.
Once everyone was asleep I decided to go forth with the doctor’s plan. I headed to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, but I couldn’t convince myself to lift up my head. Whispers. I hear whispers. What are they saying? Who is it? I can’t talk. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. Just this morning I was looking in the mirror, but my mom didn’t make me scarfe down as many pizzas as she could buy at the supermarket.
Except it’s different. I feel someone. Someone is in this room right now with me. I know it. I can feel it. It’s like they are hugging me and crawling all over my skin at the same time. It feels like comfort and disaster at the same time. I don’t know if I am supposed to love it or hate it. This feels like an episode of Supernatural not the video they showed me on how to look in a mirror.
I can feel them in my bones and an overwhelming power feels like it is in me. My head jerks up without my consent and I realize that it is not my choice anymore. The mirror is foggy even though the room is not hot but I am. Suddenly I am sweating. I look closely at the mirror and see the words you are mine as long as you are in the mirror. The handwriting looks nearly perfect. I read over it again.
‘You are mine as long as you look in the mirror!’
I look back down at my toes and think about what I am supposed to do in this situation. Scream but I can’t because if I scream my parents will hear me. They already think I am irresponsible and an unbelievable failure. I can’t imagine what they would think if I told them this. I thought about it for a long time and decided that maybe I could communicate with the ghost girl- this is what I have decided to start calling her because this ghost was definitely a girl. In the morning when I take a shower the mirror will be all foggy. I will talk to her then or at least try…
When I woke up my stomach was turned inside out and I had no clue how I was going to go about this not thought out plan. I started to think about whether this was a good idea or not but I love looking at myself in the mirror and there is no way I can go my whole life without doing it again and whenever I take a selfie there is a light in the way. I can’t live without my freedom and this ghost is not giving it to me. It is taking it away and I don’t like it and I won’t live with it.
I hopped in the shower and turned the heat up all the way, then once I saw that the mirror had been completely fogged up I wrote ‘What do you want?’ and I saw lines appearing but not in order. First was an L and then an H then O and then E and finally right down the middle was another L. The final product. HELLO.
That is not what I asked. I think she could hear the inside of my mind because then she started to write.
‘My name is Zoey. I died in this house.’
Morbid…
‘Do you want to die in this house…’
NO. I am officially freaked.
‘?’
‘NO’ I write on the foggy mirror.
‘Then you are going to help me’
‘Okay’
At this point I don’t care what she has to say, I will help her.
‘I need to get out of the mirrors. Can you help me?’
‘Yes’
I don’t know why she needs validation as if she has already told me she would basically kill me if I didn’t.
‘Good. Destroy the mirror.’
‘How?’
‘BURN IT’
How am I supposed to burn the mirror? My parents will notice that it is missing but maybe I can tell them that I destroyed it because of my E.D.
‘K’
That’s all I can right with my shaking hands. I took the mirror down and opened the bathroom door and outside there was my sister. Looking at me carry out our ginormous gold mirror out of my bathroom. She looked at me hard and long and then moved out of the way. I go to grab my car keys and look back at her. She nodded and held up the number four with her hands. I shook my head. That’s our code. Be back by four and I will cover for you but past that I am telling parents and the police.
When I got in the car it was dark and I could barely see anything. I went out in the middle of the woods where no one goes. Unless you want to do something without anyone knowing. Most people go out there with people who they don’t want people to know they are hanging out with because anyway else in town and it gets posted with a hashtag of our high school name and then the word secrets so there are zero secrets in this town. I knew no one would be here though because they were all at a party tonight. A party that I was supposed to be going to until my mother got a call from the school.
I wanted to do this quickly and quietly. I threw the mirror down and pulled out my lighter. I took a big breath and just threw it in there. Fire. It caught on fire. Then the ghost girl arise from the fire like a spirit lifting from the grave. It was like all her color was back. There was Casper in her. She wasn’t an episode of Supernatural, she was stuck in one.
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I wrote this piece based off of a recurring dream I have had many times.