I can see her luxurious, blonde silky hair from a mile away. The way her hair moves back and forth, and just sits there so softly. Her hair looks so perfect, especially when she wakes up. She has some baby hairs here and there, but the way it just curls up is beautiful. Her hair is short and well trimmed. She has a middle part, making her hair just even more stunning. Her hair compliments her beautiful green eyes. Her hair also compliments her soft shiny pale skin. Her skin looks so soft from afar. Her lips look so chapped and cold. Her hair makes her outfit look just as luxurious with the white blouse she wears, with a knee high skirt, and long stockings under the skirt. She wears old rusty converse, always with matching socks. Oh I would die just to have a piece of that hair. It bounces in gym class. When we play dodgeball, her hair swings back and forth… and she puts her hair in the most slick back ponytail. There's no bumps in her hair, and no dead ends. Sometimes I wonder what shampoo and conditioner she uses, so I can look just like her. Even just having her hard bristle hair brush, would be an accomplishment. Just the idea of having something of hers, brings butterflies to my stomach. 

When I walk in the dark dull hallways of school, I spot her. She walks at a fast pace. One moment, she's right in front of my eyes. When I see her right in front of me, I am so tempted to  grab a chunk of her blonde hair. So close to just grabbing her, and touching her baby soft skin. I have the urge to just push her friends out of the way and to be near her presence.  Sometimes I can’t keep track of her though. I have noticed how her classes are always on completely different sides of our school building. Our school looks like the medieval times, so beautiful and large.  She is the type of girl who has places to be and has a packed schedule. She doesn’t have time to deal with nonsense. When I see her studying every friday at 3 pm at the corner table of the library, she just looks so beautiful. She belongs to our school campus. She fits in, she has a group of friends, and she meets all of the standards of school expectations. She always wears her  school uniform, and never misses a single day of school. When her father passed away last year, she always came to school, and faked her happiness all day. No matter what happens, she always is put together. She always has the most perfect grades. She’s an honors student. 

Frankly, she is the most intelligent girl I’ve laid my eyes on. She desired to paint the most dreamiest, enchanting, romantic, beautiful piece of artwork. Whenever you look at her, you can just grasp how she theoretically is an artist. The key to her artwork was the pain she went through when her father passed. Since I know where all her classes are, she always tends to be in the art room. Every free time she gets, she’s in there. This is why I fantasize about her so much, because what girl would die to be an artist? Her pieces were so abstract and different. You can tell in her artwork, she's a straight up observer. I think the reason behind this is her father. Oh how she loved her father. Her father, and her were so close. When her mother died from cancer, she was in a very dark place. Her parent’s loved each other so much. When her dear mother passed, her father was so sick from all the sorrow. She would spend late nights with him, feeding him soup and putting the wood in the old brick fireplace for him. He was her best friend. They would spend so much time together at the graveyard. What a coincidence, I work there and I happen to bury her mother in her grave. Her mom’s bones were so beautiful, and her mothers body was curved, and her eyes looked just like her daughters. Like mother, like daughter, they all say. Anyway, I also happen to live across the street from her. After all of these years seeing her, I come to believe that her name is Jessica, so we’ll call her that. Jessica was also close with her father because her mother had a bunch of chickens, and three cows. When her mom passed, Jess had to take down the role for her. 

So for months on end, when her dad recovered, he taught her how to milk the cattle and take the eggs from the chickens. Every morning she woke up at the crack of dawn, milking and doing barn chores. Her father taught her everything, which is why she praised him so much. They would always ride to church together, and do night-time prayers together. But what was worse is right when her and her father were good again, he passed. Her and her dad had a rough phase when she was a little girl. He was addicted to meth, and had an affair on her mother, so he was gone for a couple years.  It was right when her mother passed, that he came back for her.. Maybe that's why Jess is so closed off, she's an only child with absent parents. She practically grew up on her own. Oh how proud I am of her, If only I can just replace her father for her. Back to the point, her father passed and she was in the darkest hole ever, and she started to paint. Maybe one day she will draw us together, alone at last. 

  Her friends don't notice half of the things I notice about her life. Do they know about her art, do they know about her parents? Didn’t think so. I don’t even think they’ve ever asked her about her personal life. Maybe they’re intimated.  I know she only has a couple of friends, but I don't think they care. She hangs out with three guys, as well as  three girls in their friend group. Max, Justin, and David. Lindsay, Rebecca, and Chloe. The guys were all jocks, and playboys. They were addicted to drugs. I will never understand how they function on small pills. It is like every second of the day, they need to be high. During an exam, during lunch, during practice. They are always in another universe. Which none of this makes sense because Jessica is a good girl. Why does she want to be near these jerks? She should want a chivalrous man, like me. They all seem to be in love with her. Maybe they are just convinced they are in love because she is endlessly beautiful. They don’t know her like I do, they never will get her like I do. On the other hand, the girls are something. They're not necessarily good but not necessarily bad. They care so much about their reputation. They thrive off of it. They are beautiful, but they all seem plastic and fake. Jessica makes her makeup look so natural, and they don’t. 

I wish I could stop her from being around them. I know she’s a sweet girl, but she's been so cold lately.  her friend’s always make her do things that are extraordinary.  She started to be around them when her father passed. I believe she met one of the jocks during one of her volleyball games. After that she goes around to parties with them, and being as religious as she is, it's a shock when she starts drinking. She smokes pot with them all the time, and drinks strong tequila. At first it was just her hanging out with them at parties, but then she got to be friends with them. Keep in mind, this is a distraction from her dad. Her mother was a raging alcoholic when she was alive. Her mother had a bunch of alcohol and shots under the faucet. After meeting this group of kids, they make Jess steal the alcohol, and she sneaks it into school. SCHOOL. This isn’t like the Jessica I know. What is wrong with her? If she came to me, I could fix her. Now she is always partying with them, skipping school, and making fun of people. She is a good girl mainly but also this is the bad side nobody knows of her. I know what she’s like, because I observe her every minute of the day.

Jessica has a set schedule. She's very tidy and organized most of the time. Every morning she wakes up at the crack of dawn, milks the cattle then  takes a warm steamy shower. She shaves every crevice of her body, untill her skin is baby soft. She uses a lavender body scrub that makes her smell angelic. She puts shiny shampoo in, and lets it sit for a while. After her long calming shower, she does her routine. Back to her knee high skirt, and white blouse. Sometimes she switches her shoes to doc martins but that's on a rare occasion. Anyways she wears the most slick back hairdo, and eats her breakfast. She usually pours some orange juice into a small mug with a side of toast with jelly on it. After that she feeds the chickens, then is off to school. Her school days are the same old. After school, she has volleyball practice and then goes home to her queen sized bed. She looks so comfortable when she's asleep. Laying in her silk sheets and silky mattress, I wish I could just lay in that bed with her. But sometimes she doesn’t always go home, and that’s when this plan will take strike.  Usually every Friday at the end of the month, her and her jockey friends go out. Usually she goes straight home from practice every night, but when it's this particular day her friends pick her up from the school. She makes up lame excuses to her foster parents, but they don’t really care anyways. After the party, she usually goes out and smokes a cigarette, and that's when I am going to get her.

I followed her to the party.. Of course she and her friends stopped at the liqour store, like always. Which gave me time to speed to David’s, and hide my rusty old ford. God this truck doesn’t get me anywhere, it's a piece of junk. Thankfully he has a rich white family, so I have options for hiding. Time passed, and they finally got here. They had a few extra randoms at the party, but that's expected. For some time, they were playing beer pong, truth or dare, and all that stuff.  Being the idiots they are. They were all drunk out of their minds too. Pathetic. Jess went outside, and this was my time to make a move. I’ve been waiting for years to finally talk to her. She was vomiting in the dark prickly bush. What a shame, that these low-life jerks influenced her to do this. But can you guess what I did? I went up to Jessica, and put a blindfold on her. I walked her slowly to my truck, and trapped   her in the passenger seat. I am not a fool, I put her in handcuffs. She's finally mine, I've been dreaming of this.

She sits in my dark dull basement. Crumbled in fear, and unknown what is to happen next.  She has goosebumps  covering  her mellow skin from top to bottom. She’s a smart girl, she should know the way out of this. It’s to be with me. I watch everything about her life. Our destinies are meant to be together. Her parents are both unseen presences, so they wouldn’t know a thing. Her friends are transparent and boneheaded. I don’t think they would manage to care. Jessica should be sympathetic that I do this all to her. She does not have to deal with grumpy elderly foster parents. I give her food, a shower, television, and myself of course. I may seem like a frightening guy, but I am not all bad.  I want to give Jess a new experience ahead of her. She has grown up to be bashful, I can change that though.

If you’re reading this and find this bizarre. Don’t. One day you’ll understand true love. True love gives you butterflies in your stomach. You feel like the world has turned to be on your side. The feeling of love makes anybody else in your life invisible. Oh, and if you’re wondering about Jessica. She is happy with me, and is stuck with me.  One day she’ll get married to me, and have the time of her life. One day we’ll have kids that will look just like us.  Our faith has brought us together. 

Jessica’s friends and foster parents, if you're reading this, how blind can  you get? She was struggling and alone, so now It's my job to lift her up.  I mean you guys set Jess up for failure. She’s going to die here with me, and you’ll never know. You’ll also never know my real name, or where I live. That's what secrets are all about and frankly Jessica is my forever secret.