The Dangerous Truth | Teen Ink

The Dangerous Truth

June 5, 2013
By Diana101 GOLD, Grove City, Ohio
Diana101 GOLD, Grove City, Ohio
13 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God's delays are not God's denials"


I like this chick, I think to myself as Alison talks about Trig homework. Her gorgeous brown hair is perfect. I wouldn’t admit this out loud but, I get lost in her indescribable hazel eyes. And her voice is like beautiful bells ringing in the distance. I suddenly let out a slight smile, and Alison notices.

“Are you listening to anything I’ve said?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“What did I say then?” she tests.

“Uhhh…one plus one equals two?”

“No silly! I said, I think it’s dumb Mr. Harvey makes us do fifty problems a night.” Alison explained.

“I knew that,” I say.

“Sure you did. What were you thinking about anyway?” she asks.

Her question catches me off guard.

Dude, you paused for more than five seconds…

“Uhhh…our homework.” I replied.

She seems not to notice, which is good. She portrays a smile and goes back to her homework.

The next half hour was filled with Mr. Harvey teaching us the next section. I look over at Alison. Her notes were organized perfectly, nothing like my carelessness jumbled into words.

“…And your homework for tonight is page 175, problems 1-50, all.” Mr. Harvey said, as he scratched it on the chalkboard.

“Called it,” Alison said.

“Yes you did,” I said.

Students gathered their things and lined up at the door.

“Children, stay in your seats. The bell will ring when it pleases.” Mr. Harvey said.

The bell rung just then.

“Later, Alison,” I said.

“Bye,” She called.


*
*
*


The rest of the day, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I was in a dream, or it seemed. Would it be weird if I asked her out? What would she think of me? Would she think I’m a creeper? Would her parents approve of me?

“Carson! I’ve asked you the same question seven times. What’s your problem?” Timmy asked me.

“Huh? Nothing.” I replied.

“Sure. Tell us,” Tyler urged.

“Nothing to tell,” I said.

“Come on bro! Is it a girl?” Brandon asked.

“No, it’s not,” I said, and I could tell he didn’t believe me.

“What’s the bad girl’s name?” Tyler asked.

“Okay first off, she ain’t a ‘bad girl’, and second…oh god shoot me now.” I replied.

“Carson, it’s okay.” Timmy recalled.

“Fine. Her name’s Alison Thomas.”

“Whoa, she’s a prep,” Tyler said.

“I know but-” I started, but Timmy interrupted.

“Dude, she’ll never fit in our world. Chicks like that don’t mix well with cigarettes. And besides, no matter how much you like her, and how much you wanna be with her, Daddy won’t let you date her.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Why not? It’s so obvious, isn’t it? Well Daddy-Dearest thinks the worst of us. We smoke, so why can’t we do anything worse? And then, when she’s involved, she’s gonna change and be someone she’s not. That’s when she starts hating her dad because he doesn’t let her date you. It’s better not to get involved.” Timmy said.

“Alright,” I said, as I head to my next class.



I struggled through each class, and wondered why this hasn’t effected me before. Maybe I’m suppose to wonder about everything, or maybe I’m not. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t focus on anything. There’s just too many distractions. Or she’s just too big of a distraction. Even if I focused for ten minutes, I always found myself thinking about her. It’s hopeless to forget her.

As the final bell rung, I head straight towards my locker. I turned the dial, and grabbed my books and shoved them in my book bag. I head towards the parking lot and approach my Mustang. I reached out for the door handle, with a strange, but cool thought: I should give Alison a ride home.

I bursted with excitement. I looked around, looking for Alison. I saw her walking away from the school. We made eye-contact, so I waved. She did the same. She was gonna say something, but her friend pulled her away towards bus 111.

Well there goes my chance, I thought kicking the side bumper of my car, but not leaving any indentions. I disappointedly opened the door, and got in. I started the engine and sped out of the parking lot.

*
*
*


When I got home, I logged onto Facebook from my iPhone. I was thinking about messaging Alison on here. I don’t talk to people on Facebook, because it’s easier to text them. Maybe I’ll send her a text. I found her page and I fell short. I saw many posts on her wall saying things like “hope yur okay(:” and “hope you make it through.”

What’s going on here? Wasn’t the last time I saw her at school, about to get on the bus? She seemed perfectly fine…

I scrolled down a little farther. One of her friends posted a link to the local NEWS. I clicked the link, and it took me to the NEWS webpage. Then, a video popped up, with a heading that read, “Bus crash, leaving many dead or in serious condition.” I played the video, and a women started talking. “Today around 3:35 PM, bus 111 crashed head-on to an on coming car. All passengers on the bus are seriously injured. Six were found dead, including the bus driver. Evidence shows that the driver was going twenty miles an hour faster than the speed limit. The two passengers in the on coming car were pronounced dead ten minutes ago. The students on the bus that were pronounced dead are, Courtney Scott, 16. Jeremy Hunt, 14. Alison Thomas, 16. George Wright, 15. Laura Bright, 17.”

When I read her name for the first time, I couldn’t believe it. So I reread it, but it said the exact thing I read previously. I kept rereading it, not understanding the meaning of the words anymore.

I fell asleep like that. Letting the billions of thoughts fry my brain. When I was asleep, I woke up with a sudden flinch, and a sudden thought.

I wanted to give her a ride home…

Tears started down my face before I processed the thought completely.

That was the last thing I remember thinking before I fell asleep again. And I think I was dreaming, but I’m not sure. It seemed so real…

…I found myself back at school, checking my homework assignment. Everything seemed weird. My gut feeling told me I knew something, but couldn’t remember. Or I didn’t know something, and thought I did.

I looked to my right, and Alison sat there doing nothing so flawlessly. Suddenly, I felt déjà vu. There actually was something I was missing.

“You hear anything I’ve said?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“What did I say?” she tests.

“Uhhh…you’re going shopping with friends?”

“Well that’s what I said to Lily, but I was saying that I think it’s dumb that Mr. Harvey makes us do fifty problems a night.” Alison explained.

“I knew that,” I say.

“Sure you did. What were you thinking about anyway?” she asks.

Her question catches me off guard.

“I don’t know.” I said.

She doesn’t say anything else, just turns back to her math assignment.

“…And your homework for tonight is page one-seventy-five, problems one through fifty, all.” Mr. Harvey said as he scratched it on the chalkboard.

“Called it,” Alison called sarcastically.

“Yes you did,” I said, mocking her tone.

Most every student gathered their things and lined up at the door.

“Children, stay in your seats. The bell will ring when it pleases.” Mr. Harvey said.

“Yeah, and I can stand where I please,” Brandon shouted.

Mr. Harvey was about to say something to Brandon, but the bell rung just then.

“See you later, Alison,” I said.

“Bye!” She called.

*
*
*

The next thing I knew was that I was back at lunch with my friends. It was the weirdest thing. I mean I can’t even explain. It’s like I’ve already been here, in this exact spot in my life…

“Dude, I’ve asked you the same question seven times. What’s your problem?” Timmy asked me.

“Huh? Oh…nothing.” I replied.

“Sure it is. Tell us,” Tyler urged.

“Nothing to tell,” I said.

“Oh come on bro! Is it a girl?” Brandon asked.

“No, it’s not,” I said, and I could tell he didn’t believe me.

“What’s the bad girl’s name?” Tyler asked.

“Okay first off she ain’t a ‘bad girl’ and second…oh god shoot me now.” I replied.

“Dude it’s okay. We all have that someone.” Timmy recalled.

“Okay fine. Her names Alison. Alison Thomas.”

“Ain’t she a prep?” Tyler asked, with shock written all over his face.

“I know but-” I started, but Timmy interrupted.

“She won’t ever fit in our world. Chicks like that don’t mix well with cigarettes. And besides, no matter how much you like her, and how much you wanna be with her, Daddy won’t let you date her.”

“Oh my god,” I said.

“What?” Timmy said.

“I need to give her a ride home. Because, because…” I started.

“Bro, you okay?” Brandon recalled.

“Yeah. I just feel like a bus is gonna crash.”

“You sure you haven’t been drinkin’ anything funky?” Tyler asked.

“Well, you know me. So I can’t guarantee anything.” I said.

“That makes two of us,” Tyler commented.

“I bet,” I said, mostly to myself as I started down the hall.

*
*
*

I walked out of the school building with just enough time to catch up with Alison on the sidewalk.

“Hey Alison!” I called.

“Hey,” she called as I got closer. “What’s up?”

“Nothing really. Do you think I could give you a ride home?” I asked, feeling like my world could come apart with just one word.

“I was gonna ride the bus, and I don’t know how my parents would feel about that.” Alison said, slowly easing her way towards the bus.

“Ali, we’d better go. The bus could leave any second,” her friend said, gently pulling on her arm.

“Alison, please. I know I’m sounding like a freak and all, but if you would just listen to me, please.” I said.

She gave me a weird look, like was I really that desperate?

“What are you talking about?” she asks.

“I know you probably won’t believe me but, the bus you ride, it’s gonna crash, and, and,” I started to stutter, and I was afraid that I wasn’t convincing enough.

“Carson, you’re scaring me,” Alison says, looking around for her friend, who was already on the bus.

“Please, whatever you do, just don’t get on the bus, please. It’ll all make sense tomorrow, I promise,” I replied.

“Please don’t make me regret this. If I find out this was all a ploy to get what you want, then crap’s gonna go down,” she said, making herself clear as glass.

“It’s not, I swear,” I said as we headed towards my Mustang.

“Nice car,” Alison said, idolizing it.

“Thanks,” I said, after we got in and seatbelts were buckled.

I drove out of the parking lot just like that…

*
*
*

…I woke up and it was completely dark in my room. Which means I must’ve slept longer than I suspected.

Suddenly, I felt better that I had saved Alison and all was good, but a sudden pang in my gut sent that wonderful feeling downward.

It was just a dream…no, no, it couldn’t have been!

I got out of my bed and started to throw things around and kick everything that was in my way.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, ceasing the trauma I was creating. It read that I had a new text.

“OMG! I just saw the news. How did u kno? I am SOOO incredibly thankful! Think u so much! I’ll 4 sure luv u 4ever!!!” -Alison. <3

After I read her message I’ve never been so happy in my entire life. I just hope I’m not still dreaming…


The author's comments:
The idea for this short story came to me one day, as I was on my way home from school. At the time, I was talking to this guy, whom had a bad-boy reputation, and the character Carson is based on him. And I based the character, Alison on me. Basically, it's about the idea of a "bad-boy", not being all that bad. Hope you guys like it :)

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This article has 3 comments.


on Jul. 29 2013 at 6:13 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?&rdquo; - Fahrenheit 451

I liked this, but I agree with DD. I couldn't see how he was the 'bad-boy', other than the smoking. I can't give you any help on that though, because that's not my writing style. (And because I don't actually know all the stuff a bad-boy does) I liked the last sentence about how he hoped he wasn't still dreaming, but I couldn't really see the transition from past to present, and real to a dream. How did he get back in his bedroom? What was with all the deja vu? Did the first part ever really happen? And what did the title have to do with the story? I might be missing a lot of stuff here, but if I'm missing it, your reader probably will too. I'm sorry if that was all too negative, but on the bright side, I really liked your plot and climax! And how the bad-boy happened to be shy on the inside. You're a good writer. Keep at it!

on Jun. 16 2013 at 12:15 am
DarfieldDudette BRONZE, Barriere B.C., Other
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Most of us can, as we choose, make of this world either a palace or a prison.&quot; -John Lubbock

First of all; I really really liked it. A lot. Now for the Constructive Critisism.  Go deeper. It's a great story, but I felt completetly detached from it. The characters were interesting, but they didn't reel me in. Take some time to get into the nitty gritty emotions and make me FEEL their pain as well. Also, if you plan on continuing this, I would put some time into the characters and the character's development. It wasn't really obvious to me that Carson was a "bad boy" or that Alyssa was a "good girl", aside from you sort of mentioning it. I know that this is a relatively censored site, but there's got to be ways to make it more obvious the dramatic difference in these two characters. Finally, the transition from finding out Alyssa was dead to going back in time was not clear to me at all. It took me a couple minutes to figure it out. I don't know what kind of advice I'd give for that, but I do think it should be a little clearer. Don't think I'm totally tearing your writing apart, I think it's a great start and the plot's intriguing. Now's the time for nitpicking and detailing :) Great work. -DD

None0 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 15 2013 at 9:32 pm
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Believe in the ideal, not the idol.&quot; - Serra

Okay, not sure what to make of this. The emotions were displayed well, and the dialogue was quite realistic. However, the descriptions are lacking.   This is told from a first-person standpoint, so there is a lot of telling language due to what he's experiencing, which doesn't leave much room for imagery, or other forms of showing language. For example, instead of telling the reader that the teacher is going through the lesson, show the reader what's happening with the next lesson.   Everything else is fine, except for some awkward points, mostly at transitional scenes. I think you should probably extend those a bit, and be a little more detailed. Otherwise readers will feel like there's a large jump from one scene to the next and get confused.