The first step to eternal life is you have to die. Those were the words that I heard in the bathroom. They were the words that slowly crept into every inch of my life, until they consumed it. They now define who I am, and have justified everything up until this point. And now I struggle to breath as water burns my lungs, and I question why I ever started down this dark and irreversible path.

It was my second semester at college, and I was going to the bathroom before my physics class like I always do, when I heard a group of people walking in. I assumed they didn’t know I was there, because they continued talking like they were when they first walked in.

“The first step to eternal life is you have to die. It’s the perfect way to introduce people to the idea of us,” said a girl.

“Jenna, that won’t work. You can’t just open up to everyone about us. Are you really that incompetent?” asked a guy.

“You don’t have to be so rude, Claude! It was only a suggestion. I don’t see you coming up with anything!”

“Because I’ve come up with everything else! How dare I actually want you to do something for once!” Claude practically screamed at Jenna.

“You’re an ass, Claude!” Jenna screamed as she stormed out of the bathroom, the sound of her heavy feet disappearing as the door slammed shut.

The chatter of the rest of the group ceased. The air seemed to still and grew unwelcoming. My nose started to itch, but I dared not move the slightest inch.

“Does anyone else have an idea?” Claude asked, sounding suddenly collected.

“I don’t know. Is there anyone we could trust?” a new voice asked.

“Well, there is this girl in my Lit. class-”

It was then that my phone rang. I stood paralyzed for a spilt second. Then, my hand quickly shot into my pocket and I jerked the phone out. I silenced it, but the damage had been done already. I could hear their footsteps as they slowly surrounded the stall.

“Come out. Now,” Claude said absent of all emotion.

I stood there for what seemed like eternity. My body was like stone. I could not persuade it to move. I was paralyzed by fear.

“Come out. Now,” he repeated.

I took a deep breath, mustered up all the courage I had, and I slowly opened the door. I peered out to see five people staring directly at me. Their arms crossed. They were all nicely dressed, but one. Two of the guys wore khakis and polos, the other had on jeans and a flannel. There were two blonde girls, also, that were both dressed alike in tight leather pants and tank tops.

“Hello,” I squeaked.

“And what do you just think you’re doing?” asked one of the Barbie look-a-likes.

“You know…Uh…Just using, no-just-going to the bathroom,” I stuttered.

I tried to push past the girls and dart out, but two of the guys moved ever so slightly to block me. I tried to shove through them, but it was no use.

“You’re not going anywhere,” one of them said.

“I didn’t hear anything. I promise,” I pleaded with them all.

The guy in the flannel walked up to me. He had been standing off to the side, staring at the altercation. I instinctively put my hands up to block my face.

“Drake, Jack, be nice. This guy doesn’t look like he could hurt a fly,” the guy I assumed to be Claude said smoothing out the wrinkles that had formed on my shirt.

Drake and Jack hesitantly stepped away, their faces scowling. They both were muscular, but not like bodybuilders. More like they only went to the gym several times a week. Claude, however, was scrawny. He looked like the type of guy that Jack or Drake could snap
in half.

“So, what is your name?” Claude asked.

“Ian,” I answered with a little bit more confidence this time.

“Ian, may I ask why you were listening to our little
conversation?”

“I wasn’t-”

“Yes you were, jackass.” Jack interrupted as he lunged for me. “How the hell can you even lie about that?”

Claude smoothly slid in front on me to block Jack. Jack slammed into Claude with a great deal of force, but Claude just stood there like a statue. It seemed as if Claude had an extraordinary amount of strength, but from what? He was half the size of Jack, and still managed to block him as if it was only a two year old charging at him.

“Jack, can you not listen?” Claude said with a raised voice. “I told you to leave him alone! He may very well be an asset to us!”

“An asset? A guy like him? Are you crazy?” One of the blondes screamed. “You just yelled at Jenna for wanting to open up about us!”

“This is different. He is one person not the whole school. So just trust me on this,” Claude reassured her.

The blonde sighed and went to sulk next to her look-a-like.

“What are you doing tonight?” Claude questioned me.

“I was planning on starting to study for finals.”

“Finals? They’re two months away! Instead, you have to come to our meeting tonight.”

“Well, I don’t know,” I said, thinking about how pathetic my plans actually sounded.

“No, you have to come. We don’t usually offer this kind of opportunity to just anyone.”

I was unsure if I should go or not. I really wanted to stay at the top of my graduating class, and finals were important. However, maybe it was time I made friends and participated in some activities.

“Ummmm… sure. I’ll be there,” I heard myself say before I could even finish thinking about it.

“Great! Alwin Hall at six tonight,” Claude told me as he went to leave. “See you tonight Ian“

The blondes and gym-heads followed him out of the bathroom. I was relieved to finally be on my own. At the same time, my mind was racing about the proposal I had just accepted. But, the questions would have to stop. I looked at my watch, and realized I was about to be late for my class. I rushed out of the bathroom, trying to forget about what I had to do that night.



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My heart felt as if it was going to beat straight out of my chest and onto the floor in front of me. I had been staring at the numbers two, one, and six on the door for the past half hour. Should I knock or not?

Alwin was one of the nicer dorms. Actually it was probably the nicest. The rooms were more like apartments. They had two bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a shared living room and the dorm room’s bathroom. These were the dorms that you had to have money to get into.

I had never been in one of these dorms, and my curiosity started to take over. I wanted to see for myself if they were truly as amazing as everyone had said. However, that meant I’d have to face whatever was in store for me on the other side of the door. I had no idea what was going to happen at this meeting. I took a few deep breaths, rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans and knocked lightly on the door.

Claude answered. He opened the door wider and motioned for me to come in.

“Hello, Ian. I’m happy you decided to join us.”

I walked in and saw the two barbies, the two gym-heads, and a girl I had never seen before. I assumed the stranger was Jenna. They were all sitting on a dark red leather couch.

“Sit wherever you would like,” offered Claude.

Everyone stared at me as I sat down on the only empty couch. They all looked slightly different from the last time that I had seen them. The two blondes wore black skirts and shirts, and had taken off all their makeup. Drake and Jack wore dark khakis and black dress shirts. It was then that I realized that even Claude has changed his outfit. He had on black skinny jeans and a black shirt. He also had piercings in that he didn’t have in before. Jenna had on fishnet tights, a dark red skirt that matched the red streaks in her hair, and a black shirt. I wondered what I had walked in to. These people seemed nothing like the well-dressed students I had met in the bathroom earlier.

“I see you look a little puzzled, Ian,” Claude said as if reading my mind.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“It’s understandable. We look different than before. But what you now is the way we really are.”

I nodded my head, but was simply just trying to organize all of my thoughts.

“There is no easy way to break this to you. But, we believe in eternal life. That is why we are all here tonight,” Claude said as calmly as if he were just telling me the weather.

My mouth dropped open, almost like in the cartoons. Why was he so blunt? What kind of people were they? What kind of world had I just walked in to? I had no idea of what exactly they were talking about.

“We believe in eternity, as in with the devil,” Claude said as if he knew what I was thinking.

I continued to stare blankly at him, my mind tried to grasp what had just been said.

Claude continued, “All of us have escaped death. We made a deal with the devil. Our escaping death is credited to him, and now he controls our lives in exchange for granting us immorality.”

Now everyone was staring intently at me to see what my reaction would be. I had none. I simply sat their motionless and in shock for what seemed like years. Then I heard myself speak.

“So, you guys are devil worshippers?” I hissed this at them in a voice that didn’t even seem to belong to me.

Jenna stood up, walked over, sat down closer to me and said, “We do not worship the devil. It is more of him controlling our lives. He lives his desires through us. Mainly, we get him more supporters, like you. He does not control our thoughts, we all are individuals. He only controls what we do when it comes to him, but we live forever. He brought us back to life after death so that he could use us. He wanted us, and we only accepted that.”

“And how is that not worshipping the devil?” I asked rudely.

I told you he would never understand, Claude!” Jenna screamed.

“Just give him some time. If I recall, you weren’t too sure about this idea when I first introduced it to you either. You eventually came around, just like he will,” Claude answered once again in a calling and flat tone.

“Can you guys just shut up a minute?” That was me. And I was screaming. “I have no idea what to think of this or how I’m supposed to respond! I just need silence!”

I finally seemed to find my voice. Silence fell upon the room, and everyone stared at their feet. My heart was racing, and I was sweating profusely. I felt as if I was in a scene of a bad horror movie. A movie where I was the main star and everyone else was just there to cause problems. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to think of what they had told me. They couldn’t just expect me to want to join their group. They worshiped the devil, and put on some sort of front so that nobody knew. But, as much I wanted to hate them and put them down, I couldn’t help but wonder if what they were saying was true. The thought of eternal life, fascinated me but it seemed too good to be true. I wanted to think they were crazy, but my mind kept on telling me that wasn’t the case. Maybe it was the convincing and reassuring tone that Claude spoke with. Or that they all seemed to be polar opposites and somehow had came together. They all truly believed in this one thing. Now, they wanted me in that exclusive circle. And, I couldn’t help but want in.

“If I wanted to join you guys, what would I have to do?” I asked.

Claude jerked his head up and answered, “Well, your drowning would have to take place as soon as possible.”

“What drowning?” I asked.

“I told you about how we all escaped death, right?” I nodded my head yes.

“Drowning was the means of that death. You would have to be drowned, die and come back to life. Certainly, we would be there to assist you in the coming back to life part.”

I was taken aback. Drowning someone seemed like a horrible thing to do. And to know that I would be purposefully trying to kill myself was absurd.

“Has anyone never…ummmm…not came back to life?” I asked.

Claude seemed shocked and taken off guard.

“Do you really think we are murderers? Like we would just go out and kill someone?” one of the Barbie blondes screamed at me.

“Calm down, Larissa. It is a totally understandable question,” Claude said. “And, no one has ever died because of this. We believe that the devil picks our members for us. He already knows that they will live.”

“So, if I wanted to join, then I would have to be drowned?”

“Yes, just like all of us. It isn’t anything to fear. Wanting to join us isn’t anything to fear, either,” Clause reassured me.

“Wait a minute. How exactly was the first of you drowned?” I asked in a sarcastic tone.

“Well, I was the first to experience drowning,” Claude spoke as he reminisced, “and it was unintentional. I was swimming one day in a large lagoon, and something grabbed my foot and pulled me under the water. I though it was a piece of seaweed at first, until I realized that it was really the devil. That day I truly did drown and die. But, he brought me back alive and now he does it work through me and now them. I was chosen to be immortal by him, just like you.”

“That just seems like a bunch of bullshit. Nobody can talk to the devil. You must have hit your head in that lagoon”

Claude answered me back with out skipping a beat, ”I do agree. It seems like an idea that we have made up. Yes, the devil does show himself to me, but only in a shadow form. He has great gifts to offer and he wants to offer them to you.”

I didn’t really know how to respond. I did want to join them and be a part of something. But, something inside of me was telling me that I needed to get out of there.

“How about this?” Claude asked. “Tomorrow night, we were planning on heading down to the lake anyways. If you choose to join us, then your drowning will take place tomorrow night. But, if you do not show up, then we know that you have rejected our offer. No hard feelings. So, meet us in the parking lot at Berwood Forest at nine if you wish to join us. And remember, if you reject our offer it is gone forever.”

“Ok,” I said.

Claude stood up and I did the same. He led me to the door and let me out. Once I was on the other side of the door, I once again wondered what I had gotten myself into.




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The following night was the night of a new moon, and I could hardly make anything out as they led me down a wooded path. The rocks and sticks I felt under my bare feet told me I was in a forest, but I couldn’t see the trees. I had no idea where we were headed, they never told me. All I knew was that tonight might be the night of my drowning. The night I may start my journey to eternity.

We continued on the winding path for what seemed like hours, until I smelled the water. I knew in a couple minutes I could be taking my last breath, but I wasn’t scared. I knew dealing with the devil meant I would no longer in control of my own life, but it was a price I would pay for eternal life, and some friends. As we approached the water the gym-heads told me to stop, it was the first time they had spoken in hours. One of them, pulled matches out. He relit the lantern that had burnt out just minutes ago. All I could see in front of me was water. We stood there for several minutes until Claude walked up behind us. At Claude’s approach, I grew nervous for the first time. I knew my drowning was very near. Slowly, my courage started to wane.

Next to me, Claude said, “We are gathered here tonight to let one more of us enter into eternal life. Tonight we will celebrate a new beginning. A new beginning that the devil will control. Tonight, during Ian’s drowning, he will sell his soul to the devil in order to gain immorality. Ian do you wish for eternal life?”

I knew this was the last moment I would have the power to decide for myself. Before I could think, all I heard was myself answer, “Yes, the consequences will never outweigh the benefits.”

With that, Claude said, “Let the first step to eternal life begin.”

The four men that walked me through the woods before now motioned for me, and I slowly followed them into the water. Once we were far enough in, one of them put his hand on my shoulder and lightly pushed down. I knew this was my cue to kneel down. I could hear Claude walking through the water behind me. As he approached, I felt my heart begin to beat faster. I knew he was behind me when the splashing had stopped. This was the moment my drowning would start.

Claude took my head and shoved it under the water with so much force, that even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to resist. The waster was piercing cold. It felt like dozens of needles being jabbed into my flesh. It was pitch black and silent beneath the surface, except for the ringing in my ears. My whole body felt like it was on fire as it tried to suck up every ounce of oxygen it could get. My mouth went numb, and I could feel my lips part. My body was hoping and begging for air, but instead water forced its way into my lungs.

My throat burned, and my whole body went going numb. I could not fight the numbness as hard as I tried. But I could feel the piercing cold of the water that surrounded me. I’m started to panic, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I kept on trying to open my mouth to breathe, but the cold water kept on rushing in. I tried to move, but all I could seem to touch was water. I attempted to breathe through my nose, but once again the water reminded me that air was non-existent here. Liquid filled my lungs. I could feel the cold water filling my chest up. My lungs were aching, and my chest felt as if it is going to burst. Small white specks surrounded me, then they started to grow and collide. I tried to fight them off, but they sucked me in. They were surrounding me, and I got too weak to fight anymore. I fought as long as I could. Soon the whiteness consumed me.



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All I could see was the whiteness around me, but it felt calm and peaceful. I could hear voices, though. They sounded far off, but they were getting closer. Soon people emerged, and I realized the chatter belonged to my family.

My mom came to the front of the crowd and softly said, ”Hello darling. I’ve been waiting years to see you again. I’m so sorry that I left so suddenly, but I am so happy you’re here with me now.”

She pulled me into a hug, but I just stood there awkwardly with my arms by my side. There were probably fifty people that surrounded us. The faces I knew were the closest, and the ones farther away I had never seen before. Everyone smiled at me. Almost those creepy, welcome to my home smiles.

“Ian, follow me,” My mom said as she grabbed my hand. “Come and join us in eternal happiness. I am so excited to be able to spend time with you. We need to make up for all the moments we lost together.”

I started to walk over, but something tried to pull me back to the other side-the dark side. I fought to get over to my loved ones, but I couldn’t fight hard enough to stay. I didn’t want to leave that place. It felt like I was home there, but I couldn’t keep on fighting to stay. I know I should have given up and go went to my life. Something inside me, though, wanted to stay. I knew that I would not be going back to the same life. I would no longer be in control of myself. I would get to experience eternity, but it would be at the expense of deciding my own future. The devil would control my life, and I wasn’t sure if I want that anymore. I may have made a deal that had too many consequences. I wanted to stay here so I didn’t have to face them. But, I’m grew weaker and I couldn’t fight to stay there much longer. I hated to give in, but I had to.

I am pulled away at the speed of light. My loved ones disappear in the distance before I can even begin to say goodbye. The peacefulness starts to fade and I am taken over by fear. The whiteness is stained by black. Suddenly, I feel myself trying to force water out of my aching, burning lungs. I can feel someone pushing forcefully down on my chest. The water gushes out of my mouth and I gasp for air. The moment the air rushes into my lungs I know that I’m alive. I just beat death, but the uncertainty I felt in death still surrounds me. I had thought this would be the beginning of a new life, but really it will be a curse that ended the only life I would ever have.