Al Heckathorn and Dane Grady left school early every day. Both having senior privileges it wasn’t uncommon to just up and leave during their study halls. After the bell had rung for the seventh and final class they met up and walked out of school together. Walking out to the parking lot they decided what to do with their free time. Dane was the first to speak,
“Yo let's get to BK and get some burgers man!”
Halfway through his sentence Al exclaims with a drawn out, “Yeeee”
The two of them climb into Al’s car and take off down the road listening to Dane’s new “Mortal Kombat” CD.
Pulling up to BK the two seniors were getting excited, a little too excited for cheap non-meat hamburgers. Approaching the entrance a crazy looking old man with snow white curly hair, a missing arm which he chose to replace with a rusted spatula, and a wireframe pair of glasses that had no lenses in them. Dane started to feel uneasy but before they could get around him the old man started to speak:
“Hey kids you buying some hamburgerrrrs?” For some reasons really drawing out his words.
Al and Grady start replying just saying “Yeah” over and over again nervously until the man interrupted them.
“Remember to finish your hamburgers or you’re going to get your patties flipped.” Creating extra emphasis by twisting his spatula replacement arm.
Dane and Al ordered their meals and put on the honorary burger crowns that were usually left laying around. The two ate, uncomfortably quietly until Dane finally said:
“I love burgers man!”
Al still chewing nodded in agreement. Finally it was Al’s turn to speak.
“What was that old man saying? We had to like, finish our whole burger or something? Nah screw that I’m full.”
Dane agreed with his sentiment and placed the remainder of their burgers in the bag.
Outside the restaurant the old man’s body was found lying in a parking spot. Covered in ketchup, mustard, pickles and buns, he lay there dead. Al and Dane not seeing this head back to their car when Dane has an idea.
“Hey let’s go finish our burgers in the gully over there!”
“By the old abandoned burger joint? Yeah!” Al replies excitedly.
After completing a very weak yet dramatic high-five over the car they head into the woods, unbeknownst to them that something with a burger for a head and a t-shirt of the same design was watching them from behind some trees.
Dane found a good toppled tree to sit down on and handed the bag of burgers to Al. He pulls out the left over food and stops after just one bite.
“Man I’m full,” Al complains.
“Yeah I didn’t even take mine out of the bag.”
The two hear branches snap behind them, turning around just as the burger man grabs their shoulders. Dane immediately ups and runs while Al fell backwards over the tree. The burgerman now towering over him slowly unwraps Al’s half eaten sandwich. Al lets out one last scream as burgerman finishes him off with the burger.
Dane coming to the parking lot clearing bursts out of the woods and turns back around to see Al, presumably dead, on the ground.
“He’s beaten him! Now he’s going to beat me! Oh my gooooooood!” Dane shouts as if it was a bad horror movie.
Burgerman jumps from the woods making only what can be described as guttural ape noises and grabs Dane’s shoulder violently. Dane, frozen with fear, looks into burgerman’s eyes as the thing starts to breath heavily. It leaves retreating back into the woods leaving Dane in the parking lot. For a second he thought he was safe, spared, left to live another day, he was wrong. A shooting pain started in his chest and end in his face. He fell to ground clutching his face, something was wrong, he was changing. Dane stood back up straighter than ever, but something was different. He changed, he was one of those things. Dane reels his chest back and screams:
“I AM BURGERMAN.” Followed by a ear shattering scream of: “YEEEEES”
Dane ran back into the woods, he has not been seen to this day.