Why would he do that? That’s my mommy. He loves her!
I was watching Dora the Explorer with my parents when they started fighting. I don’t think they like me to see, so Daddy took Mommy into their bedroom. I was getting my Dora groove on. “Where are we going?” Boots sang. I screamed “To Grandma’s house!” in response. The episode was getting good - Dora and Boots were about to beat Swiper and start their adventure!
As I wiggled my body further onto the couch, I squished one of the remote buttons and the station switched to NBC news. A man in a police uniform was being applauded by everyone around him. He said that he shot a crazy man who was ‘threatening the lives of civilians.’ He told the reporters that that was the only way to contain the situation. Obviously, if given another choice, he wouldn’t have shot someone. Yet, some of his close friends’ lives were in jeopardy. The town mayor thanked him for being heroic.
Mommy and Daddy stumbled back into the living room. Mommy sat next to me, going through my hair with her delicate fingers on the soft sofa. Daddy sat on the other side of the room in his big leather chair. Right after seeing what I had been watching, Daddy took the remote as he mumbled “Enough of this crazy s***.” My mom screamed “David!! Don’t use that language around Walker. Change it back to Dora now.”
My favorite cartoon character again appeared, making the dull black screen become much more colorful. Dora and Boots were on a journey to go to Dora’s Grandma’s house! There, they would have lots of fun. Dora explained that her grandma was a great cook and was going to make them homemade chocolate chip cookies! Those are my favorite. “Mommy, can we have cookies?” I asked. “Mommy is a little busy right now, son” my Daddy said seriously.
I was put into my big boy chair and given carrots instead. They were very cold and crunchy. Mommy and Daddy were in the living room. I started to hear a lot of screaming, which quickly turned into hitting. I could see them out of the corner of my eye. My Mommy’s face was discolored. One of Daddy’s hands was pounding her gentle face, while the other hand gripped her neck to make sure she couldn’t escape.
I jumped out of my big boy chair and went into the garage. I’ve seen Daddy with his gun before. I’ve seen him use it when an unwanted animal was in our yard. Right now, he was acting like an animal and was very unwanted. A thousand thoughts began to flood my mind. Would I get in trouble? The policeman on the TV was rewarded for his actions to protect someone important. My Mommy is important.
I stumbled through the garage until I found it: Daddy’s gun. I ran into the other room and saw them. In this moment, he was more evil than even Swiper. The gun was bulky in my little hands. It didn’t fit quite right. My Mommy had stopped screaming. Her face had turned bluer than the skies in May. I aimed for his foot, hoping that would distract him while Mommy got better.
I missed.
Daddy fell to the floor. The house shook with the impact of his body.

I woke up to my Daddy crying in my bed. “Daddy… I’m sorry... I was just trying to be like the man on TV. I didn’t want to hurt you,” I murmured as my vision became clear.
“What are you talking about?” he dismissed what I said and continued: he started out by saying that I had been screaming all night and that I must have had a nightmare. He looked more miserable than ever. He sat on my bed for the first time in months and went through my hair with his large hands. As I looked up I saw his brown eyes, red and puffy. “Daddy what happened?” I wanted to know but I was afraid of the answer. Was my play date with Hudson going to be cancelled? Did we run out of syrup for my pancakes? Were we not getting a pet fish that I had been promised?
“I’m sorry, son. Your ma’s no longer with us.”
What? She was fine last night. I saved her. If anyone, he was the one that shouldn’t be okay.
I started erupting with tears. He started to explain himself, to try to prove his innocence to either me or himself. “I didn’t mean to,” he said. “ I didn’t realize what I was doing,” he said. “It was too late by the time we got to the hospital last night,” he said.
His words after that became meaningless and I went numb. I reached under my Dora pillow and took the gun back into my hand. This time, I would not miss.