It’s days like these, when the sun is shining too bright and the sky is only a fraction too blue, these are the days when my mind begins to wander and my gaze upon the whirling waves and the shimmering grass slowly fades away until all I see is his face as he pleads me to save him.

My vision blurs and the chair beneath my cramping legs no longer sits upon a broken deck, but instead upon the familiar rocky surface deep in the forest. Knowing exactly when she would come dashing out from behind the bushes, my eyes flash towards the small child - familiar and strange to my dreaded gaze. Her pigtails as blonde as the pony tail swinging from behind my head, her murky green eyes as piercing as the ones following her unbroken trail.

As familiar as my brain is with the image of the girl’s pigtails twirling in spirals behind her; her back bent down, her fingers scattered across the rocky ground, her eyes searching with a certain amount of curiosity for the longest worm that she knew her mother would disapprove of; as accustomed as I have became with this image, I couldn’t keep my body from turning cold with dread. Her complete ignorance, her unknowing, her innocence still left unscathed: her unwavering passion that I once had and that I lost forever.

My knowing of what has both came and is still to come causes my legs to spring forward and my heart to beat faster as I spot him slowly appear from behind tree. The girl with blonde pigtails turns her back against the dirt holes and questions who he is. They quickly exchange pleasantries and, soon after realizing their age difference was nearly nonexistent, both turn towards the ground and start searching for the longest worm together. They ask each other mindless questions, and too soon a trusted bond forms between them: a promise of an everlasting friendship.

While the girl with blonde pigtails digs senselessly into the ground, he asks her if she wants to play a game. And it was her curiosity, her need for adventure, that is what brought her eventual downfall. Because, as he grabbed the girl’s hand, they stepped away from the ground and turned towards the impending darkness that seeped into the trees.

My eyes quickly dashed across the forest as they left my view of sight. My hands began to quiver in fear with the need to both save him and save myself. However the decision was already made and I was suddenly zapped towards another place in time. The girl with blond pigtails was standing next to him on the edge of the cliff. Sharp daggers poke out from the rocks, leaving behind a feeling of vulnerability. He says something to the girl, but my buzzing ears can’t seem to make out the faint words. Mist sprays up above their heads from the colliding of waves and rocks down below. The sun seemingly evaporated in thin air, leaving behind a curtain of gloom. I squinted my eyes and inched my feet closer towards the edge. The girl with blonde pigtails laughed radiantly. He threw her a smile and turned away from the awaiting cliff. With his arms thrown out, my heart lurched and god please don’t. She raised her arms, ‘It’s a game of trust’, she convinced herself. Her smile has wavered now, and her excitement has begun to wilt. As the words were about to leave her quivering lips; please don’t do this; he quickly turned around.

And although I had seen it countless times, shock still struck my body when his foot suddenly tripped against a rock sitting harmlessly on the ground. My mouth opened up in a scream and he began to fall sideways towards the welcoming blackness below. My eyes followed his every move, every emotion that flickered across his face; an unnerving flash of fear enveloped his fragile face. His arms flailed around his sides, hoping futilely to grab hold of a rock as his body ascended even further into the abyss. His fingers hooked onto a rock jutting out from the edge of the cliff.

He begs the girl staring uselessly from above to be saved from the ever too present gravity. He pleads her until I am violently ripped from the body tied to the chair. My, once, tight ponytail is now pulled back loosely into two blonde pigtails. My skin is no longer wrinkled and faded by old age, but instead smooth and untouched by the limited years. Tears stain tracks across my cheeks as my eyes search uselessly for a way to save him from the waters below. My lips quiver and sobs rack my small frame as I see his fingers slowly slip from the crooked rock.

“Please help me,” he screams out in agony. All I can do is stand and watch. My hands raise unconsciously to my mouth as I stand there motionless. The boy hanging from the side of the cliff screams even louder when he sees my body slowly turn around.

‘It’s futile, it’s useless, I’m useless.’ The words repeat over and over again, blocking out the deafening sound of his countless cries. I don’t take a single glance back as my feet begin to walk towards the deep forest. His cries become sharper as the darkness finally grabs hold of his unscathed ankle.

The cries echo across the forest, bouncing from tree to tree, leaving me numb. Until, suddenly, the world goes silent and all that is left is the subtle splash of water against rock.

I wake violently to the sound of waves upon sand. My hearts pounds against my ribs, leaving behind a welcoming dull ache.  My hands shake subtly as I scrape away the hairs that flew across my eyes. My gaze focuses upon the whirling waves and shimmering grass until his pleading face slowly washes away from my unwavering eyes.