Intro

I feel that there is this constant inflammation of the ideals that all human beings must fit to these certain standards, if you're a woman you must be the perfect height. Not too tall and not too short, but if you're a man you have to be over 6’ otherwise you are too short. You have to be under these certain weight limits and my god your face better be perfect or you are setting yourself up for social suicide. There is no way to get through this life unless you are the walking view of perfection and don’t you DARE have any type of mental illness otherwise you are a freak. Now this may seem that I am being dramatic or taking it too far, but wouldn’t you be just like the accusers then? The ones who are dead set convinced you can be all these things and not feel an ounce of sadness in your body? I think this entire theorem is bologna. When you are under these constant society pressures to be the perfect version of yourself at all times, otherwise you are not happy and you should be able to make many friends because HEY! You're not pretty and you're depressed? That is the terrible way that many people feel in this world due to the concepts that have been taught since early childhood. I remember being told “If you don’t use deodorant you will stink, and nobody wants to be friends with someone who stinks.” When I was younger, though this is true in some aspects, people with bad hygiene are not always the most pleasant to be around. Is it really your place to make them feel worse about themselves for something that is quite possibly out of their control? No it is not. If we took matters like this into consideration and tried to help those who needed it in order to be the best versions of themselves they can be instead of constantly always putting them down, then i think this life would be a lot easier. It is hard to grow up. Don't make it harder 

Men

So with what had been previously mentioned I heavily want to talk about the mens portion of this. Previously upon talking to men I thought that they were lucky, seemingly men did not have much to be insecure about. They could be gross or sweaty and women or other men would still find them attractive. Though the things I didn't know were the common results around the social stigma of being the alpha male. Most men feel they have to be the best at everything and oftenly get quite insecure when even a slight thing is off. I had never known before how they felt about their body image, by this I mean weight. I always knew most people get insecure when they talk about these topics but for men I had only ever heard “I am not big enough” But I had never put into perspective the men that are bigger, and they want to lose weight. How challenging it can be. I was told by a man I am very close with “If I am fat then I am ugly.” I remember staring at him in shock as he is a very attractive man with seemingly very good self esteem. His entire concept that he had grown up with since childhood baffles me. I think that many are under the interpretation that men do not feel these kinds of things, but talking more about the social stigma around men's health and their self esteem issues is something I think should be brought more to light. Many men suffer with constant issues of self esteem that are seemingly not talked about. When they feel unmotivated and like they can not do anything they sum it up to “I just need to relax” even though after they relax they still feel that way. Many men are too scared to find out if they have these certain mental illnesses due to the bad wrap that is around them. Now of course this goes with both genders but women are usually allowed to feel things heavier than men are. This is something that should be brought up more because many many men do not think that they are able to talk about these things and take care of themselves in a mental way due to the social backlash 

Women 

    Now there is a huge difference in the way men and women view their different types of insecurities and overall the most things that they are insecure about. Women usually struggle with their weight a lot as well as height and the way that they are built. A lot of these ideas come from the idea that you have to look a certain way all the time if you are a woman. Men can dress down quite often and still be told that they look nice. Whereas when a girl does this, it is usually asking if she “had a rough night” Many of these insecurities or bad ways of viewing themselves come from the internet and the idea that the way they look is something that is always in a need for change, there is no real concept of beauty standards considering they are different everywhere that you go. A lot of women are constantly trying to look perfect to meet the proper way that people view them. There is also a large concept of the fact that women are allowed to show emotions better than men but there is still a huge backlash against it. They can’t just cry of just be upset that is always being dramatic, or not actually feeling that way you just think you do. There are many different types of things that women are insecure of on a day to day basis and whether they are things that just someone in highschool pointed out or the media pointed out, they are always present in their brains as a reminder of things they need to keep in check. There is also always a huge social stigma around if women decide not to have children, though this is one of the most terrifyingly beautiful things that you can do as a woman, some just don’t want to. That has always been viewed as something that is a  no no. You have to keep the family name going, be a good mom, balance everything else in the world and in your life while also making sure to be the best mom and wife you can be. With no help from your supposed to be partner and do this all while making sure you balance the needs of people socially. 

LGBTQ

I feel that there is a huge misconception on what it means to be homosexual. Many times people view it in a different manner than it is intended to be viewed in. but then like it isn’t hard enough to have the entire world trying to stereotype and figure you out as well as saying that you shouldn’t be because that is a sin, is something that is downright terrifying. Many people haven’t taken the time to truly understand what it does mean to be gay. I hear a lot of the times now that “oh every girl is gay” or anything along those lines, many people don’t understand the concept or how hard it truly is to be a part of the LGBTQ community. The judgement from your peers is enough to make you never want to come out but then when you add on top how your parents may feel when you tell them you’re interested in the same sex, or you could like to go by another name and pronouns. It is very veyr hard to be gay and in my opinion many people are not really able to grasp the idea of that, they don’t understand and they just assume and do what they would like when it comes to your sexuality and how you feel about yourself. I wish there would be more light on the fact that it is okay to love who you love, and it is okay when you don’t feel like yourself in your own skin. It is hard enough to come to terms with these feelings on your own and when people add themselves into the mix to give their opinion or the way that they feel about who you love, it just makes everything 10x harder. Being gay is the same as being straight, love is still love. The same way as someone who has a sex change to a woman is the same as someone who was born a woman. There is no need to argue with people about the way that they feel all because you deemed that it is not okay with your religion or its not okay because you said so. Many of the people who are of this communnity are so used to the hate that you most likely would never even know that they are gay. 

Depression

I feel that the topic of depression is really hard to get straight to the point in, this is one that many people think they know and are convinced that they know when in all reality they know what being sad is. Depression is the art of being and feeling alone, there is something that makes it so hard to be this way especially when you usually feel alone. Its the kind of feeling that makes you not want to get out of bed ever, and not want to brush your teeth. You feel you have no reason to do these things because it makes it very hard to continue to do anything. Any sort of motivation is gone. You feel that nobody truly understands about you and sleeping for forever sounds like an amazing idea. I feel that many try to understand why these people are so sad but just can not wrap their minds around the concept, I feel the people who don’t have it will never truly understand what its like to be so sad you feel like you can’t move. They say to take medicine and that will make you feel better, but what use is medicine when all that does is make everything feel like you’re a zombie, there's no concept that helps you understand why you feel this way either, it’s just known that you do. I struggle with that as well, I want to always know why I feel so sad or so hurt. There are not enough words in the world to describe the way that depression can make you feel, it’s one of the most painful and powerful mind diseases. I wish that this was something we could erase from our population entirely 

Body image

The ways we view our bodies are usually the most self deprecating things that can be seen by yourself. The way of constant judging because you see the things that nobody else sees, it’s the entire concept of how easily someone can get crushed by being told any of the comments some may have come to mind, there's no way of really blaming anyone because they don’t technically have control over your emotions and how you feel towards yourself. Many say it’s not even just the act of someone telling them they are not attractive or they don’t look good. It’s the after effects that stick with them. As said by a Shawnee student “People joke about my size and if I don’t laugh with them, everyone looks at me like I am a monster.” Many feel quite stuck in the loop of joking about their hatred towards their insecurities that nobody else can see, it’s almost as if we are all trying to fight off this weapon in our minds and then the addition of other people thinking they should comment on it makes it 100 times worse. Social media does not help with these insecurities that people go through on a daily basis. If you’re a woman you have to be this tall with just enough body fat otherwise you are undesirable, if you're a man you better be over 6’ and don’t you dare not have a 6 pack of abs. If you’re too skinny, the question of “are you eating?” is constantly asked. But if you are bigger than the question of “do you ever eat enough?” is asked. There is no just right answer because you are doing what is healthy for your body. The constant judgment from peers is enough to make anyone not want to go outside again. Many don’t understand that their jokes can hurt people, just because you get to laugh doesn't mean everyone else does. High school and entering into life itself practically feels like social suicide if you don’t look the right way to everyone else’s standards. 

Jealousy

    Everyone is jealous of someone, whether they are dating the girl/boy you liked, or their hair looks really good. Heck maybe it's even because they “look better than you” in their eyes. Nobody talks about the effects that these extremes of jealousy can have on people. The pure amount of hatred someone can have strictly because they are jealous of the way someone lives their life. Or jealous of the things that they have. There is a kind of rage that fuels through your body when you’re jealous, the kind that makes you want to throw up or punch someone even if you’re not a violent person. But my question is why are we jealous? Why do we get jealous when there is no other person on this entire planet that is like us. Nobody that has the same facial features exactly the same, or the same hair. Nobody who has your smile. And in all honesty what makes someone envious? They’re looking so close at this person even pointing out flaws in their head. 

Race

Nobody truly enjoys discussing this topic, they think we are past these things so why not leave them in the past. But how are we past something that is still continuing in forms of the present day? How can you be past it when, once we had the outbreak of covid 19 people called in the Chinese virus? Or when a person of color is shot by a police officer it takes months and profuse amounts of protest for the social justice system to do anything about it? The topic of race is not easy to talk about, especially when you are the wrongdoer of these actions. I wonder what it is like to be a black kid going to a school where everyone in your classroom is white? Does it feel the same as when I'm in a class of all men? Or is it scarier? Are you scared to speak because you feel like an outcast? I don’t think enough people truly know how gratifying the situation truly is, sure you can blow it off like its nothing but in the end when it all comes down to it, we all know how wrong it is when we treat someone terrible. We all know their humans. We all know the color of their skin, or the shape of their eyes does not change who they are as a person. So why do so many let these complections be their excuse for being so cruel.  

Love

There is the common thought when it comes to teenagers who claim to be in love.. “That it will never last” or “you're in high school, it won’t last forever” i personally hate those sayings. I don't think you should be deemed unable to be loved simply because you are in high school. Many people are constantly under this influence that how they feel is not possible. Even though it's your feelings, how could you ever feel this way? There is no reason for people to even say this besides the fact of them just wanting to reflect their past onto their children or other kids that are in their lives. You  are able to fall in love as a teeenager but god is it hard. Trying to balance school, sports, work, friends, family, and a love life? Is practically social suicide. You might as well throw one of those out the window because good luck trying to make time for all of those when you only have 7 days in a week. But then you get to the messy side of it because to be fair, not everyone is going to get the happiest high school experience and/ or relationship. Some will get the toxic side, where you are always crying, constantly arguing and let's face it using terrible coping mechanisms just to try to feel okay. That is not love, no matter how old you are. That will never be love. Many people can not quite grasp what love truly is. Love is the kind of sacrifice when you give the rest of your food to someone because you know they're still hungry, or when you drive around the block to make sure they made it in on time. Letting them pay for you even though you hate that. Love is about sacrifice and being able to communicate. As a teenager myself it always feels self deprecating when I seem to be the only one who thinks that my relationship will make it out of high school.