Home; home is no longer a cozy place that I am comfortable calling home any longer. I wake up diorientated, so lost, and everything around me is dizzy. I keep on having these occurring dreams that escalade to nightmares, and fourtantly escalade to morales.



My Dream: I wake up in my room. Everything around me is morbid. Everything has turned to ash like my house has just been bombed. It looks like snow covering debris, becasue everything is broken down. Everything in my room looks as if it has just been enclosed with napalm, becasue everything looks molded. Ironically, my bed is in near-perfect condition, as if it was not affected from any of this maliciousness. This is starting to look like a picture that is black and white, and one thing in the picture is emphasised on by being in color. My wall's are a snow white, but I remember going to bed with them being a dark grey, we just painted them a couple months ago. The lighting in my room is very bright. So I shake my head, and squint. I have horrible crambs in my calfs, my reflexes make me jump out of bed, instinctively I try to walk them off. The pain of the crambs is over-powered by the feeling in feet, my skin feeling liquid. To my surprise there is a liquid under the ash, so thick I can not even feel the carpet. My room is extremely cold, it feels like I'm anguishing in the middle of a winter blizzard.

I open my rooms door, and there I am staring at the same situation. Everything covered in ash, everything an unwanted aybiss leading straight to mental ponder. I check the rooms, and they are the same. My family is gone, even the my pets are absent. The wall's of my living room are plain white too, and the windows are gone, giving me no perspective of what has changed outside. This is leading me to reason what outside is, or what it is in my dream, so in the form of lucid dreaming, I'm tempted to see what outside is. I slowly walk to my front door. I inhale, and exhale, this is the point of no return.

The flash is like a sudden realisation to harmony. I'm dumb-founded. The atmosphere is so different from inside my house. The sky is an exquisite baby blue, no clouds in sight. The sun was setting, the horizon simultaneously stunning. The astonishing greenery, the trees, the elegant plants. I feel as if I am standing in the Garden of Eden, or heaven, literraly. It's sunny, and the birds are chirping. I hear childrens laughter afar. The atmosphere is wonderful, and everything is circled with joyness.

Just like that, in the blink of an eye. Ash starts to fall. I hear screaming, crying, and just down-right terror in the distance. Gunshots of rifles fill the air, and dark clouds suppress the sun like an eclipse. Bombs and fire fill the air, napalm and chemicals surround me. In the mist of it all, animals running out of the forest on fire, suffering the man-made combustion. Just as quickly as the terror struck, a tiny humming bird comes up next to me. It's wings are flapping as fast as can be. The humming bird looks at me, and in some crazy way, I look into it's eyes. Some kind of sensation fills my mind, the humming bird looks blank, like a shell-shocked soilder returing from war. The humming bird takes me on a journey. All around me is problems. It shows me examples of genocides, murder, economy, war on terror, currency, goverment issues, global warming, selfishness, evil, explict images of anxiety, stress, drugs, liquor, and striking horror. The humming bird also shows me examples of happiness, as it leads me throughout meadows full of life.

Sanity is something that is hard to accomplish in reality, as they do provide medications for that. I do not take medications, I do not use therapy. Instead I let dreams teach me lessons. Instead of a conscience, I allow dreams to decide for me. I follow dreams as if they were a guidance for life, teaching me morals as I let my body relaxe in deep sleep. In my dreams life seems so geniune, so real, so easy.

The humming bird in my dreams has given me a new perspective of life. Basically the morale of this is, that inside your house you may think that life is redauant, you may think that escaping is somewhat a remedy to issues. You may think that once you adventure around the world, the outside of your home, you may see beauty as a clarity. But be prepared to be whiplashed with a reality check. Be prepared to realise that over-powering the magnificance of the world, you have to face mad issues and problems.

This dream has been my clarity, it has been my reality check. But yours, is up to how you live your life, how you experiance your life and if you understand the consquences.


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