21st Century Happiness

According to Newport Academy, the diagnosis of depression for teenagers ages 12-17 has risen 63 percent since 2013. They have also found that depression makes you 7 times more likely to be a victim of substance or alcohol abuse. So how did we get here, and what can we do to control it?

The first thing that teenagers need to understand is that your appearance will not make you happier. I hear a lot of my fellow teenagers saying things such as “I would be happier if I lost weight” or “If only I looked like her I would be happy”. Phrases such as these are all too familiar to this generation.  We are surrounded by constant images and stereotypes on what is the “ideal image”, which for most people is unachievable. As a generation caught up in all of these images and stereotypes it slowly leads us down an inevitable path of envy and despair. 

I knew a guy who used to hate how he looked. He was as skinny as a plank of wood and had some of the worst acne  I had ever seen. One day he woke up and decided to change. He started going to the gym and working out, as well as taking Accutane for his acne. All was good until he got too caught up in the “ideal image”. He started the deadly task of comparing himself to others. Going to the gym a few days a week turned into a daily adventure. This then turned into him using steroids to “bulk up” his appearance. Finally, he was satisfied with his appearance. He had the most immaculate body and not a trace of acne on his smooth face with a jawline that could cut steel. It was a complete transformation, and for a while this sustained him. He started getting invited to parties where before he wasn't even a drifting thought in the host's mind. He could get any girl he wanted, and he did. 

After awhile all of his sleeping around and partying got old. He began to get more depressed than before, he distanced himself from his friends, his family, and his peers. He wouldn't talk to anyone, after months of agony he gave up.  Looks did not suffice his need for love and compassion. His so-called friends were only his friends because of his new “status” they did not really care about him as a person. Soon after he realized this he decided to attempt to take his own life. I am telling you this because I want you to see that your looks, your friends on Instagram or Snapchat, the type of car you drive, none of that really matters in terms of happiness.

I heard a quote once in a movie that said happiness is a mood not a destination. It went on to further explain how people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. Happiness is a mood, tired or hungry, it comes and goes. Just like it is okay to feel hungry sometimes it is ok to feel sad sometimes as well. If we thought about happiness as a mood and not a destination we would find happiness more often. There is no road to happiness, it is not when you get your dream car, or you finally get the raise, or when you finally achieve the body image society has ingrained in all of us. Happiness is a mood, its when you are surrounded by people who love and care about you. Its when you're on a road trip with your best friends, or when you're with someone you love. That is real happiness, although it isn't permanent, it comes and goes and that's okay. So before you start comparing yourself to others, realize that the only person you need to impress is yourself. If you find yourself depressed or lonely the best medicine any doctor can prescribe is love. Spend time with your good friends, family, and people who care about you. Distance yourself from the toxicity of social media, and I promise you will be happier more often.