Jokes in light humor of a dear loved one, best friend, and sister of telling me of her purging. A soft cool whisper in my ear every so often is shortly following a giggle and a twinkle in her eyes as she stares back at me waiting for a reaction. I never believed it to be true; until I saw it. My own two dumbfounded hazel green eyes frozen, trying to comprehend and process what I witnessed. IMPOSSIBLE! After completing her business, she caught me again. Man is she good! Those once pearly whites smiling at me, that innocent dimple on her right cheek, and pleading look glissoning in her eyes captivate me. I was in her grip promising something I knew for a fact couldn’t keep. “Shh, please don’t tell.” She was stuck. I watched her from then on. Looking at herself in the mirror, not seeing what I saw, a strong-willed, creative, clever, hilarious girl. A pinch in the stomach, sucking it in, a pinch in the face, sucking it in, and ten minutes later, when she thought the coast was clear she did it again, and again, and again.
It was going too far! She couldn’t stop herself and I couldn’t help, as much as I tried. After breakfast, after lunch, after dinner…a constant internal struggle. Then she did it to me again, with that all too infamous giggle laughter, “Look my pants are loose,” and I couldn’t say stop. I tried, but the words didn’t seem to connect. She had to relearn to love herself from the inside out. Slowly, at a snail’s pace, as she started feeling the side effects of this deadly eating disorder she broke her cycle. Only breakfast and dinner one day, lunch the next, lunch and dinner…We started working out together, but that too was short lived because the results weren’t fast enough. She eventually stopped with this evil disease that once controlled her. But, every so often you could see that dark ray coming back to haunt of her pass. She can see a glimpse of the light, but it is still dull. The hope and strength to endure such turmoil is on her side, and each day of success the light gets brighter and more dazzling.