I was eating dinner one night with my family at the table, which is a rare occurrence. Somehow we ended up talking about LGBTQ+ rights. My mother and I got into a big argument which ended in me storming up to my bedroom almost in tears. I really don’t remember most of the conversation, but I do remember them saying one thing to me: “Why are you a revolutionary? There are so many people in this world with terrible, bigoted views, but you can’t possibly do anything to change their minds. Why can’t you live your life in peace?”

I tried to answer with a powerful message, but I was so angry and flustered that I ended up rambling, unable to come up with a good enough answer. I think I’m ready now. So this is an open letter to you, my dear mother, and to anyone else who thinks a 14-year-old kid can’t possibly be deeply affected by these issues and can’t possibly make a difference.

I am a revolutionary because when I realized I liked girls for the very first time, my first thought was: no one can ever know. I was compelled to stay silent from the very first moment I realized I had a crush on a girl in my seventh-grade class.

I am a revolutionary because my mother went into my computer and read my writings and found out I was gay. I never had the opportunity to come out. She then confronted me about it a few days later, and she told me that I was confused and going through a phase. I am a revolutionary because I spent that night crying. Many nights after that were haunted by nightmares for me. I have never gotten an apology nor barely an acknowledgment for that incident from my mother, and I now hide everything about my sexuality from her. 

I am a revolutionary because even though I repeatedly asked my mom to never speak to anyone else about my gayness, she outed me to my dad through an email 10 months later. After she told me she sent that email, I had a panic attack and cut myself with a knife for the very first time. I am a revolutionary because I never got to come out to either of my parents and that control should have been mine.

I am a revolutionary because an 11-year-old girl in my art class was certain that she was bisexual, but she has homophobic parents, so she told me that she refuses to come out to them until she is 18 and can move out. I am her in-school parent because she can talk to me about issues she’s facing better than she can with her own family.

I am a revolutionary because there was a trans boy forced to be on the girls’ basketball team with me. I am a revolutionary because he came up to me on the first day of practice frantic because he didn’t know what name he should tell the coach to call him. He ended up using his birth name the entire season.

I am a revolutionary because one of my close friends is a trans boy who said that there are only two ways his parents are ever going to find out that he is trans: over his grave, or over theirs.

I am a revolutionary because I was texting another one of my close friends when their mother took their phone, scrolled through their texts, and found out they were non-binary. She wasn’t accepting either. I am a revolutionary because I walked right up to them at school the next day and gave them a hug, and they almost started crying.

I am a revolutionary because I don’t want to comfort at least two kids before the first bell rings in the morning, be it because of homophobic parents or panic attacks or other issues that an eighth grader should never have to worry about.

I am a revolutionary because I don’t want to see self-harm scars on the skin of my friends or on myself. I am a revolutionary because I don’t want to calm someone else down from a panic attack. I am a revolutionary because I am faced with these issues every single day and I will not back down until they are fixed.

Being gay is still illegal in 72 countries.

It is punishable by death in over five countries.

It’s still legal to fire someone for their sexuality in 28 states and for their gender identity in 32.

LGBTQ+ kids are almost five times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers.

Over 40% of trans individuals attempt suicide.

There are only 12 states that have outlawed conversion therapy for queer youth.

The life expectancy of a trans woman of color is 35.

I will not stay silent. I will not stand idly by. I will fight until the day I get these statistics changed.

I don’t care if I can’t make a difference. At least I’m a step in the right direction. With enough people like me, there will be a difference.

I am a revolutionary.