How. W****. Skank. All of these words just get thrown around carelessly, like people don't even know what they really mean. "Oh, she's wearing short-shorts? She's a skank." "She's wearing a belly shirt? She's a w****."  These kind of phrases get said every single day, and I find them quite hypocritical. Usually girls say this to each other, but why? Usually those girls have worn what was considered "short-shorts" once in their life, or have either wanted or have worn a crop top. But, when they see another girl wear them, they are suddenly all of these profanities? What is even worse is a lot of these girls are grown women that are in their twenties, thirties, and maybe even in their forties. Do they have nothing better to do with their lives than to shame every girl?

I am a high school student. I have kissed a boy once, but that is as far as I ever wanted something to go. It wasn't even one of those french kisses either, it was a simple peck on the lips that lasted two seconds. I have, however, been sexually assaulted. Twice. And because of that, I have been called every name in the book; s***, w****, hoe, skank, etc. by my peers, random strangers, and sometimes even my friends. I know I'm not the only one who has suffered through this.

I was always afraid to speak up about what has happened to me. Both of the people who attacked me I knew personally, which is actually pretty common. I always feel embarrassed. For the longest time, only my family and my best friend has known what I have been through. I did go to the police about this, and gratefully the cops put the situation into their hands. But that does not me I am okay. So many people think that once you have told someone, you will be okay. That is not the case, but I wish it was. Every day, I have this deeper realization that it happened to me. I drown into my own thoughts thinking, why me? Why did it have to be me?

I have developed depression, which is also common for someone who have been attacked. All the thoughts attack you like little black flies during the spring. You try to swat them away, but they always come back.
Here's the thing, to anyone who is struggling with anything, all the negative thoughts won't help. They will make you insane. If you cannot control your thoughts, you need to go and get help. I'm not talking about mental hospitals here, I'm talking about therapy. Or just simply talking to someone (i.e., your parents., siblings, friends, etc). Because remember, the black flies do go away in the summer. And summer is the best season because you are free.

I should be able to wear "short-shorts" without the fear of being shamed or being raped. I should be able to wear a crop top. I should be able to wear whatever I want without fear! And you should too. Us women can control ourselves when we say a man walking down the sidewalk without a shirt. Men, you should be able to control yourselves, too. It's not that hard.

If anyone of you feel alone, I am here for you. You can't say you "have nobody" because it's not true; you have me. I am here for you. I will listen. I will care. Keeping these things secrets will not help you. You do have a weight lifted off your chest when you tell somebody. You may not be 100% okay, because I wasn't either, but you were one step closer. And that's one step closer to freedom.