I have been raised Christian, along with the majority of the population in the United States, but had never really committed to picking up the Bible and reading it until recently. I took a class called Bible Literature last semester, knowing through the grapevine that it is an incredibly easy class (Who wants to work during their senior year?). What I could have never guessed, though, is that I would learn more in that class than I did in all four years of high school math combined (Useless, I tell you!). I soaked the information up like a sponge, not taking notes once but remembering every powerful syllable that my teacher uttered.
It was incredibly enlightening experience, and I learned a lot about my religion. Nevertheless, it was also extremely frightening. I have to do a lot to get into Heaven! According to the Ten Commandments, I can’t worship anyone else, I can’t say God Da**it (Sorry, it’s become a habit), I can’t argue with my mom and dad, and I can’t kill people. While I may be able to avoid one of those I just mentioned, the others will require a lot of effort on my part, simply because they have become habits (“God Da**it!”). Also, according to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I can never get divorced and I’m going to have to love my enemies. Because of today’s society and the basic nature of human beings, both of these rules will be very difficult to follow. How am I supposed to get into Heaven if I have already gone against most of God’s commands?
Okay, okay, for those of you that do know a little about Christianity, I have forgotten to mention one thing. If you believe in God, all of your sins will be forgiven. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. Even though my class has enlightened me, and I have followed the basic principles of Christianity throughout most of my life, I have my doubts. Evolution? How can I possibly believe in something that modern science has practically proven wrong? Deaths of friends? How can I put my trust in someone that only seems to take the most loving and devoted people from us? I guess I am saying that my faith is not as deep as I wish it would be, and unless you plug your ears and go, “Lalalalalalala!” every time your science teacher tosses the old “Darwin’s Theory” tape into the VCR, you can probably see where I’m coming from.
I only wish I could see who gets into Heaven and who goes to Hell, just so I can compare myself to them. I know that the population in Heaven must be decreasing rapidly if God is using the same acceptance rules as he did two thousand years ago. At some point in recent history, God must have been forced to say, “Screw it, the little-white-liars and the evolution Christians can get in.” It just would help to see how his rules have changed since the introduction of so many Christian-bashing ideas…
As a college bound senior, I have found that an incredible source for information about a place for higher education is collegeboard.com. I guess you could say that it “cuts the crap” in a way, by dodging the difficult to follow websites of universities and gathering them all together. They post all the important facts (tuition, student population, overall GPA, and most importantly, acceptance rate) that help juniors and seniors prepare for their next step in education.
Luckily, I am smart enough to know that you can’t look up Heaven on Collegeboard, but wouldn’t that be nice? I would be able to see how many applicants were accepted, the population of men vs. women (very important), and what specific things matter the most to their admissions council. “Hmm…” St. Peter would say, “He says, ‘God Da**it!’ a lot, but his essay was phenomenal!”
What are God’s pet peeves? What does He want most out of his followers? Well, time will tell right? I can hardly go through life without knowing, but the reality is that I’m going to have to, whether I like it or not. I guess when my time comes, I don’t want Life to hand me a paycheck and I’ll have to say, “Hey! I worked harder than this!”

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