Have you ever considered how deeply you can have feelings for someone you have never even seen? I never thought about it, and when people said they fell in love at first sight I would always snicker and say that it was only lust at first sight. My prime argument was how can fall in love with someone who you have absolutely no background history with. You have to at least know somebody before you can claim that you’ve fallen in love. Sadly, I found out a very hard way that it’s not necessarily true.

I moved away from my father’s house a few years ago, but my big sister Toni stayed. I didn’t have a chance to talk to her for almost two years, and I was very excited when she sent my mother an email to give me her phone number. I called her later that day, and she told me that she had a secret she couldn’t trust anyone else with. I was so happy when I heard that she was pregnant. She was scared that my parents would disapprove, but I told her she needed to tell them. Her name would be Sarah Nicole. Her first name my mother’s, her second name mine, and her last name would be her father’s last name.

On May 16, 2007, the baby was born. I was sent pictures, and I immediately called my sister to congratulate her. She was so beautiful and healthy at 8.7 pounds. Every single time I looked at her pictures I couldn’t help but smile. I had saved up enough money to buy a ticket to go see her, and I was so happy that I could not concentrate on much else.

Two days before I was scheduled to leave I received a call from my sister. She seemed very calm, like she was very tired and sick. I told her I was coming in two days and she began to cry. She told me that my niece had been killed. Toni had left two and a half month old Sarah with her father while she went to work, but the father had a job too, so four hours before Toni arrived at home, the baby-sitter arrived to take care of the baby. Apparently, when Sarah did not stop crying, she was shaken until she did.

Sarah died of shaken baby syndrome (SBS) on July 28, 2007. My sister could do nothing because there was no physical evidence. She was surprised when she woke up that the baby had not been crying all night. When she pulled Sarah out of the crib her limp body made it apparent why. The doctor revealed that broken blood vessels were a sign of SBS. I still came as scheduled, but instead of celebrating her life, Sarah’s family and friends were mourning her death.

The baby-sitter did not get charged with anything because she had no idea what shaking the baby would do to her. My sister was not mad at her and blamed herself. My sister and I had to learn to forgive. The death of my niece was an accident, although a very preventable one.

Ever since then I’ve asked myself, How did I develop such an enormous bond with that baby? I never was able to see her in person. She changed my life, and now I am not so close-minded. Humans are capable of being in extraordinary love, so who I am to make fun of those who are? I’ve gotten the opportunity to see or hold my baby niece, but I will definitely never forget her, and I will love her until the day I die. If I feel like this about a child I didn’t know, then why shouldn’t two people love each other after only seeing each other once? I am not the judge, and it does not matter what I think, so if they are truly happy, I have no right to snicker.