Good news; there is hope now after all for all you swing–and-miss kind of people. The face of sports has now gotten the equivalent of a nose job, becoming practically unrecognizable to anyone who has ever been involved in any one of the popular pastimes. The notion that you have to be a “superstar” to make the team has become obsolete, leaving in its place a few key tips that will help you nail the spot before the starting player has even finished running a warm-up lap around the field. Here are some guidelines for helping you really stand out on the day of try-outs.

First of all, try out for a team where you know the coach or someone high up who has a lot of pull in making the decisions. This is vital, because if they don’t know you off the field, how are they ever going to judge you properly when you’re on the field? Sure they hold their clipboards and scribble notes once in a while, but that’s more for show, since it would probably upset some if they knew they weren’t being critiqued on how fast they could run a mile or how far they could hit the ball. Lets be honest, coaches aren’t really looking for all that ostentatious fluff. We can all hurl a ball, people, so make sure you really get to know your coach and make them see what a great person you are when you’re not wearing your uniform and sunglasses (or your uniform sunglasses).

Along with this point, you have to make sure you’ve had a promising past. That seems pretty unmanageable, because it is. But coaches aren’t really looking for improvement or growth; that would take too much work. It’s much easier to remember a first impression than it is to make new judgments. So if you’re young, that’s great; just make sure you’re the best you’ll ever be and don’t bother getting any better until you’ve actually made the team. If you’ve been shooting for the same team for a while with no avail, why keep trying? Even if you’ve improved exponentially, give up and let someone else have a try, and know your assessors aren’t giving you a fair verdict; all they see is that lanky seven-year-old trying to pick the ball up off the ground.

Once you’ve got the first two key points in the bag, make sure that you aren’t that outlier. Every team has one; that person who hits home runs like it’s their job or catches practically every single ball that the hitter misses. If you’re too good or too different, you’re going to intimidate a lot of people. Not all coaches want the kid who is going to be the hard hitter for numerous justifiable reasons. As long as the team has a good defense in the outfield, they’re going to win every game hands down; no batters needed. That’s not to say you won’t get the spot if you’re good, but it’s unlikely.

A lot of old timers and die-hard sports fans are probably going to be foaming at the mouth, waiting to tear this new way of playing the game apart, but once they come to their senses they’ll see that these changes are completely for the better. After all, it teaches people that winning isn’t everything and that you don’t have to be good at anything to succeed. After all, in the real world, it’s the brown nosers and smooth talkers who get where they need to be, not the naturally talented. I think we all can agree that being naturally gifted in anything in this day and age is overrated.