I use to believe in proper relationships at young ages; but now I don’t, why? I’ll tell you why. It was the forth of July about three years ago I was about 13 years old; I was headed to a forth of July swim party with my parents and a friend of mine. We were already running late, the swimming part of the party already started.

We pulled up the drive, there were hippie cars, trucks and motorcycles scattered along the dive, we got out of the car and walked across the beat up gravel drive behind the fence into the pool area. That’s when I saw him, this attractive god of a fourteen year old boy. My heart skipped a beat and my eyes we locked on him walking down the diving board with his little sister. I knew for sure it was love at first sight. I finally came out of my lovesick trance and looked at my friend, she looked back at me, I immediately opened my mouth and yelled “dibs!” loud enough to get the attention of the few people surrounding me.

After about ten minutes of swimming and studying the boy he got out of the pool and went somewhere, I couldn’t take it anymore! I needed to know his name! I slid up out of the pool without drying off and ran over to the host of the hippie party, without bothering to look who was around and asked her rather loudly what the freak the attractive boys name was. She laughed and said, “Why don’t you ask him he’s right behind you!” It was obvious that Susie (the host of the party) had set this whole thing up. She had told him my name, what sports I played and several other random facts about me. All I knew was that his name was Erick and he was fourteen years old.

After a few hours of awkward glances from our parents and plenty of flirting we were great friends and I was head over heals for a boy I didn’t even know. My friend had gone to her family party and left me with this overly attractive guy that I had no idea how to talk to without sounding like I had a speech impediment. After my friend had left, him and I spent the day jumping off of the pool house into the pool, splashing each other and jumping off the diving board. But I felt like I stuttered every time he said anything flirtatious, which was pretty dang often! When the night came we headed over to a field with everyone else who was at the Party and watched the fire works. We sat in the middle of the field where no one else was. That’s when I got the hang of things I stopped stuttering and calmed down… until he grabbed my hand. I felt the butterflies and speech difficulties bubbling up inside me! That was the first time any guy had held my hand let alone tired to actually cuddle with me, we sat there gazing at the huge explosions of lights above our heads. We were both still wet from swimming and the little blanket we had wasn’t enough; but we didn’t care we were together and we were having fun. We headed back to the house and sat on the bench of the back porch talking about the little things in life, I wanted to never leave this moment it was perfect it was so peaceful and full of joy we could here the others talking and laughing in the distant. It felt like we had only been sitting there for fifteen minutes when really it had been over and hour the traffic had cleared and it was time for me to leave.

I didn’t see him much that summer after that. He came over to my house one afternoon and helped me pack for girls’ camp. When I got back from camp a week later, I was informed that his dad had left him in South Dakota with his grandma when he took his sisters back. That’s when my heart dropped to the floor. I thought I would never see my Erick again he was over 1000 miles away from me how else was I suppose to feel. I felt like I was never going to be able to hug his toned body or hold his well-worn hands again. We talked on the phone as often as we could but I could feel us slipping. Then I found out why we were slipping… he had a girlfriend. I was convinced she was his type and I wasn’t, she had bleach blond hair that was perfectly styled, big blue eyes with perfect make up and fake everything else. I was jealous.
He had left me without saying goodbye and now he had replaced me. He had not only made my heart fall to the floor! He was running over it with a monster truck! I tired to get his attention but he ignored me for several months, things started to bubble up again when I found out he had broke up with his girlfriend and was coming home! Me being my naive self fell hard again. He came home around Christmas but things just sort of faded and I didn’t see him till one day in the summer when I was swimming at Susie’s house again and he just showed up without any warning! We hung out a few more times after that, that summer but things faded again and my heart kept getting ran over, he was headed down a bad path and there was nothing I could do but worry. I guess that’s how you know you actually love someone you worry and hurt for them.

About six months of worry had passed and we had barely talked to each other and I was focused on my skiing career; which was going extremely well so I decided to put him and the past summers behind me. But that plan was soon to fail. I was getting ready to go skiing with Susie I had just finished getting my stuff together when I got a text saying “We’re on our way.” We? Who is we? I heard the back door open, it didn’t sound like Susie’s footsteps. Who ever it was started walking up my stairs! I looked down the stairs, our eyes locked; he was standing on the platform at the end of the stairs. I of course ran down the stairs and gave him the best hug we had ever shared and we had our first kiss. We spent the most amazing day together also some relaxing weekends together and yet another summer together after that.


He moved back to South Dakota again about eight months ago we weren’t really talking at the time but he let me know he was moving again. I wasn’t exactly heart broken this time but it still made my heart beat a little different. I was going to miss him and all the complicated attachments that came with him. He was a big part of me whether I liked it or not. He has come back to visit once or twice since he left and things have been pretty complicated when he has, but honestly through all of it I cant help but love him. We’ve both had other relationships but there’s always been a little side dish of Erick on the side.

I guess why I stopped encouraging and believing in young love or relationships is because, teenagers fall to fast and extremely hard. It’s fun but when it starts to hurt it hurts bad like and hammer to your heart. Teenagers are to naïve and easily convinced that they’re going to marry the first hot guy or girl they like. I learned that you can’t base a relationship on looks, not that that’s what our relationship was based on but that’s what the fall was based on. It’s been a great learning experience but it’s been a long path of over attachment, lies, heartbreak and tears. It’s still a on going roller coaster but I almost want to never want to get off the ride.