Things to Know About Yourself | Teen Ink

Things to Know About Yourself

June 4, 2014
By 30digitsofpi BRONZE, Keeseville, New York
30digitsofpi BRONZE, Keeseville, New York
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

1. The ability to think about something complicated, create your own opinion about it, and explain your thoughts clearly is really valuable. This is intelligence. Remember, no matter what your teachers or classmates may say, that you have it.

2. You can do seriously awesome stuff if you want to. You could join the military, become a lawyer, or work with the world’s smartest leaders at the U.N. You could be an elite, first class badass if you so choose. The world needs awesome people. I hope you become one.

3. Being smart, being full of potential, and having your parents’ support are not the things that will get you to wherever you want to be. You could have all of those things and fail. Many people have none of them, but they still succeed. The necessary element (other than a bit of luck or, at least, an absence of extreme bad luck) is a work ethic, also known as discipline. This is not a skill taught directly taught in school. Discipline is like a muscle; some people have strong discipline and some have weak discipline. The difference is how much practice they have had in using discipline. You can make this muscle stronger through practice - by making yourself do your homework or controlling your temper. The ability to control yourself will get you far.

4. It is possible to do none of the epic things in the second item, and still have an epic life. It doesn’t even have to be in the cancer-beating way, or the person-saves-another-person way. Awesomeness also comes with being a good dad or husband or life partner, and awesomeness is helping your neighbors and participating in your community and making an impact on someone younger than you (in the same way that I am trying to do with you, because I am trying to make something good out of my life, too). Don’t forget that ordinary people can be heroes, too.

5. Drugs are a bad idea. Alcohol is a bad idea without your parents’ supervision, and it doesn’t really taste that good anyway (at least to me). They are highly addictive.

These and all other addictions are ways of numbing the pain caused by life. Because these things let you forget about your problems for a while, it sucks when the effects wear off because there you are, facing your problems again (and your problems have not disappeared or magically gotten better while you were drunk or high). That feeling of coming back to Earth and realizing you still have problems is what drives people to take drugs or drink alcohol again and again, and all the while their problems aren’t getting fixed. On top of it they have this addiction and life seriously begins to suck. So please, don’t start.

Things to Know About (Mostly Romantic) Relationships

1. You might love girls or you might love guys or you might love mostly guys but also sometimes girls and that is okay. All of those are okay, and any variations are okay, and not knowing is okay, too.

2. In a lasting relationship, the most important thing is… drumroll… not love. Don’t get me wrong – love is strong and important and valuable. Also, if you don’t care about the other person, then what are you messing around for? But, when, you are older, and you want a long-term relationship that will be wonderful for a long, long time, that it when love isn’t the thing that determines the success of the relationship. Honesty is that key factor. Honesty about everything and in every way is key. Don’t let the person you want to date forever fall in love with a faked version of you that acts cool and pretends to like whatever you, as a teenage boy, are supposed to like. That relationship, built between the person you like and a made-up version of you, will last about three seconds.

3. Learn to apologize politely and sincerely. Everyone hates a fake apology.

Above all, remember: I want you to stay safe and make good choices, but everyone makes mistakes. If you ever get in trouble and you are scared, call me. I will be here to help you as long as I am able.


The author's comments:
I wrote this essay for my honorary little brother when I learned he was moving away. It is deliberately informal.

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