A Modest Proposal to Take Care of LBGTQIA | Teen Ink

A Modest Proposal to Take Care of LBGTQIA

June 18, 2014
By Anonymous

It has occurred to me that approximately eight million adults in this great country of the United States are lesbian, gay, or bisexual; seven-hundred thousand people are transgender; and twenty-five point six million Americans acknowledge at least some physical attraction to people of the same sex according to the Williams Institute of Law. This knowledge only proves to show that the people of the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning) Community have brought on us an epidemic so much greater than we could have ever imagined. It is in response to this that I propose an alternative to society the way it is now.

I propose that a non-optional polygraph test is administered to every single American when they turn the age of fourteen. During this test the child would be asked if they have ever felt a physical, mental, or sexual attraction towards anyone of the opposite sex and/or associated themselves with the other gender. If the test would come out that they had, they would be sent to a camp to work for the rest of their lives having the same basic rights as other Americans, just in a separate society. These people would be cut off from the rest of the world and would be unable to have contact with their families, friends, or peers. However, they would be clothed, fed, and have their own functioning community for the rest of their lives. Since people of the same gender cannot reproduce, unless women use stem cells from blastocysts and have it inserted into another woman’s egg (technology that would not be available to them), we would not have to worry about letting innocent children be corrupted by these devil oriented people. If these people chose to not be gay, they would be released back into everyday society.
This would solve many problems in today’s society. First, we would not have to worry about other people being corrupted and introduced into the gay epidemic. Eventually, the concept of a homosexual relationship would cease to exist. It is only logical that if an idea is never embedded into a child’s head, they will never be able to dream up the idea. That is the same reason why none of us got in trouble as toddlers. If the idea of heterosexuality is introduced to children and that idea only, they cannot chose to be gay. This would be good for many reasons. First, it would help to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Marriage has always been defined as between a man and a woman. If we were to allow people of the same sex to be married in everyday society it would completely desolate the basic foundation of marriage. Marriage has never been about love, think about the black widow spider for example. After mating the female will eat the male. The concept of marriage is simply to reproduce as shown by the fact that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and many straight marriages last much shorter periods of time then most gay marriages. If this were not the case, and marriage was truly about loving another person, then divorce rates would not be so high. To let two people of the same sex get married would be completely preposterous as they cannot reproduce.

In addition, if we allowed gay people into our society and let them get married, we should also encourage polygamy, incestual relationships, and beastiality. All of these relationships go against the bible for the most part, so to let people choose to be gay is just as bad as someone to have a relationship with an animal. It is not as if people in today’s society ever violate the bibles strict rules by committing adultery, cursing, or modifying their bodies.
Moreover, 77% of people currently residing in the United States follow the Christian religion in one form or another. The bible is strict on gay marriage saying that “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination,” (Leviticus 18:22). Surely we can ignore the fact that this book, which was written thousands of years ago, was also extremely racist, sexist, and for the most part demeaning to anyone who was not a rich white male.

Additionally, if we allow gays into our society and they are allowed to get married, the results may lead to more children being raised in same-sex households. Many studies have been conducted to show that young girls raised in a family without a father are more likely to become pregnant at an earlier age and be attracted to women. By letting children be raised by two people of the same gender completely destroys the roles of a mother and a father in a household where the father is the breadwinner and the mother is the one who takes care of the kids and the home. This is why no single parent has ever raised a family to have a normal child.

Lastly, it has been proven throughout history that the people of the United States cannot adapt to change. We are still divided by race by law because we couldn’t adapt to abolishing of the Jim Crow laws in the 1960’s. Also, interracial marriage is obviously still seen as morally wrong and unacceptable. Finally, women are obviously still second class citizens in every aspect of today’s society.

Many people may argue that these methods are unorthodox. However, the only real alternative to this solution would be to let gay people get married and leave their relationships alone, but, we all know that Americans have to be in someone else’s business so why not refuse to give the “special” rights to people who are gay even though they are only requesting the same rights that thousands of Americans take advantage of every day. Many would argue that I intend to model the works of Hitler’s concentration camps for those who were Jewish during the holocaust and the works of the United States Government during the Separate but Equal ruling. However, this is not the case. To be gay is a choice, so if a child did not want to leave their homes they could simply choose not to be gay as we have all decided to be straight.


The author's comments:
My friends, and myself belong to the LBGTQIA community. It is a constant struggle to be accepted into society because of religion and basic prejudices.

This piece is satire!

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