“But you were born a female! You can’t be a boy!” How about no.

First of all, gender and sex have absolutely nothing to do with each other. They’re two completely different ideas and should be considered as such. Many people don’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, such as a female who calls themselves a boy and vice versa. Of course biologically, this doesn’t add up. If you have female parts, you are a girl. You came out of your mother and the doctor slapped a pink blanket on you and that was that. That’s sex. Gender on the other hand, is more than just boy and girl. To me, it’s a spectrum and people can fall along any part of it. For example the most common one is transgender, identifying as the opposite gender. Then there is gender fluidity, which is shifting from one gender to another, and agender or non-binary, which is not fitting in with the gender binary at all. These people feel uncomfortable in their own bodies and in a society that is ridden with ridiculous gender roles.

As someone who can relate to this tremendously, I can safely say that many times, the discomfort is stronger within friends and family. Suddenly you hear that your dad expects women to cook and clean while the men go out and do manly things such as pay taxes, watch football, and lift heavy boxes. Your mom is telling you to sit up and be quiet and wear pretty dresses because frankly “you look like a boy, sweetie” and “no boys are going to date you if you look like one.”

These gender roles are sickening and I fully blame it on the social construct they were created from.

Everyone tells their children that little boys can’t play with dolls or like the color pink because it’s a “girl thing” and they tell their daughters that liking toy cars and superheroes is for boys. Really. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that there even is such a concept as “girly” or boy things and even colors. Society is just so hellbent on differentiating people based on their sex that if a boy wears a dress, he must want to be a girl, right? No? Well then he must be gay.

Wrong. incredibly, horribly, terrifyingly wrong.

How about you stop assuming gender and sexuality based on appearances?

How about you stop telling me that I’m not allowed to be who I feel comfortable being?

How about we start supporting these people by respecting what they prefer to be called and allow them to present themselves however they please so that they can feel safer and more accepted in their own community.