Picture a regal, elaborate sand castle. An entire family has spent hours sculpting its structure, making it tall and sturdy. In a heart wrenching instant, a wave crashes down on this sandcastle, leaving a dismal mound of soggy sand. This represents how one thoughtless, rude comment can obliterate a person’s self esteem in one instant.

Although I am an overall confident person, I have found myself feeling inferior on numerous occasions. Often, this is due to unrequited love. Will charmed me from the first time he impulsively shouted crude comments in Spanish class. My infatuation for him grew as he called me nearly every night on the phone, telling me stories that made me laugh so hard my mother slammed on my bedroom wall yelling, “HUSH CHILD!” After a few months of what appeared to be a strong friendship and harmless flirtation, my world turned upside down. Because I was head over heels over Will, I agreed to go to his house, disregarding the fact that he told me that he had no true feelings for me. His sole intention was to use me like a tissue. This made me feel incredibly inferior because I felt inclined to go physically further than I intended to because I just wanted him to like me.

After this incident, our phone conversations came to an abrupt halt. Not only did he cut off contact with me, but weeks later he pursued a romantic relationship with a close friend of mine. This is the most foolish I have felt in my 15 years of life. I could not wrap my brain around why he liked my friend more than he liked me. Wanting to clear the air, during the holiday season, I gifted him two sugar cookies with a note that held an inside joke. I believed that we were on good terms, but I realized with horror that Will told numerous people I was undesirable, unattractive, and gross. Not only did I feel a knife piercing through my heart, but I felt beyond mortified. I could not shake the feeling that I was simply not good enough. 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt’s renowned quote makes me wish I respected myself more by declining Will’s requests for activities that I did not feel ready for.  If I had refused him that day, he would have respected me more as a person, rather than an easy target for emotionless pleasure. That day, I felt filthy, worthless, and used because I allowed myself to feel powerless to his requests. From now on, if anyone treats me poorly, I will dump them on the side of the road and refuse to feel inferior or powerless.