End It | Teen Ink

End It

May 29, 2015
By Anonymous

No one seems to be bringing up the topic much these days. Being the second leading cause of death, and by far the most depressing way to die, suicide is still a topic not a lot of people want to talk about. Why? Why do people insist on ignoring this topic? So many people die from suicide, and most of these people are young adults or teenagers.
       

 A fourteen-year-old kills herself/himself because of chronic depression and no one even turns in that direction. A CHILD.
       

So many causes of suicide happen online, also known as cyber-bullying, especially on websites such as Twitter, Facebook, Ask.fm and many more. So many people think it’s easy to get over it, they immediately say, “ignore them,” “it’s okay.” I Hate to break it to you, but it’s easier said then done.
       

In July 2014, a 17-year-old boy hangs himself after receiving hateful comments on Ask.fm. People sending hate and threats, even saying that “he should let a blade meet his throat.”

 

Why do people say these things? This should be the question on everyone’s minds. What kind of sick person gets pleasure out of watching someone else suffer? It’s completely inhumane.


I wrote about this because it’s something I deeply care about. I hate it when I hear these kinds of stories. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that someone can be so cruel and cold-hearted. It’s sickening, absolutely sickening.
I also speak from experience; it’s not easy to get over people’s words. Whether it’s online or in person, it’s hard to ignore it. Especially if it’s coming from people who know you pretty well, or people who used to be your friends. People who hate on you, sometimes for no reason at all, or just because they think you don’t “fit in.” When it happens continuously, you start to believe it yourself. It makes you feel worthless, it makes you feel as though you’re not good enough being yourself. Your whole attitude about yourself changes. It’s kind of like drowning, each time you’re pulled under, every scream or cry for help, muffled. You feel helpless.


I’ve begun to pick up on a couple of stages before suicide. One of them being depression, as everyone knows. Beating yourself up mentally for not being good enough, for being worthless and unwanted. Then comes self-harm. Cutting, mostly on the legs and arms or wrists. For some people, the pain helps them cope with the emotional pain they are going through, but it doesn’t help heal them. They get addicted to the pain as though it was a type of drug for them.


But why am I telling you all this?
Millions of young adults go through this suffering for many years, and very few people can actually help them, or want to help them. And those who want to help don’t know what to say, or say the wrong things that end up making the person feel worse. It should be appreciated that those people want to help, but don’t start giving out random advice unless you actually know what the person is going through.[e] Never judge unless you know how they feel and what they have to deal with everyday. If you were to spend a day in their shoes, you’d realize the pain they go through and the endless struggles they face mentally and physically.


The worst thing you could say to them is, “I’m sorry.” You’re fighting deep sadness with sadness. You’re also feeding fire to fire, making it worse for them. They feel more sorry for themselves then you do, they feel sorry to the point where they are depressed.


Here’s a tip for you, LISTEN. Don’t say anything first. If they want to open up, listen to what they have to say. Know their situation before you say anything, before you judge their actions and their thoughts. The worst thing you could do is pity them, especially without hearing what they have to say first.


They need reassurance, and they need someone to be their support system. It’s better to be a little tough then to just say “it’s going to be okay.” Another thing I’ve noticed people do, especially when they’ve tried to help me, is that they lecture on the importance of life. If the person in question valued life, they wouldn’t be thinking about suicide in the first place.


Instead of looking at the bad things going on in these people’s lives, look at the strength they had to get through it, or at least fight it so that they don’t end up six feet under. They’re holding back from fighting the people throwing insults at them and they’re fighting themselves. Deep down they know they don’t want to die, or harm themselves, but every bad day they have that feeling disappears, slowly. Make them realize that their strong that way. Tell them, if they’ve been dealing with this for months and haven’t given in, then there is no sense in breaking now. Encourage them, not only to realize their strength, but make it so that YOU give them strength.
“I’m here for you,” say it and mean it.


“You were able to get this far, don’t give up now,” let them know they can do it, help them realize their strength.
“You have a purpose, you’re here for a reason,” they think they’re useless, convince them otherwise.
“It’s your life, don’t listen to their crap,” being assertive is better, lets them know you mean what you say.
“I know everything will be okay, things will get better, but you have to be around to see it,” if something personal is bothering them, they need to be convinced it’s temporary.

 

These are just SOME things you can say, some of which were said to me, and it actually helped. This isn’t a script for you to follow, but an outline. No matter the situation, whether it be family issues, school, friend, everyone’s life is worth it. Notice that I said to be “assertive.” Assertiveness shows you mean business; it gives them the impression that you’re not just being nice to them, but you absolutely mean it, and you won’t let them off without knowing they are okay. Mention that as well. If you really care, don’t leave them alone unless you’re sure they’re not doing anything dumb, and let them know that too.


I want to finish off by saying to everyone, that thing in your chest, it beats for a reason, it beats for a purpose. You shouldn’t decide when to end anything.


The author's comments:

It's a topic that bothers me a lot and I always have a soft spot for it, I want people to know that there is more to it then what they think, and sometimes the things you say that you think might help actually don't, from personal experience, I understand a lot about what these people go through. 


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