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The Weight of a Burden
What defines someone? It is their thoughts? Their actions? Or are people defined by the world and other people? Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried answer this question by involving the reader in multiple tales that accentuate the physical and emotional agony that its characters become encumbered with. O’Briens novel includes a collection of short stories about a squadron of American soldiers fighting upon the grounds of the Vietnam War. Each soldier has their own unique background and experiences that define them and shape the way they act. Angelou’s autobiography focuses not on the experiences of a squadron at war, but those of a woman who was sexually abused at a young age. Despite the differences of the narratives, the stories leave its characters similarly damaged and uneasy in certain situations. The burdens that these characters face begin to grow on them, and truly start to define who they are as people. In Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried, both authors use internal and external conflict to show how characters are defined by the physical and emotional burdens that they are forced to shoulder.
In O’Brien’s The Things They Carried, the crew unknowingly decided to make camp on a sewage field. In the middle of the night during heavy rain, the field turns into a river, sucking Kiowa under. The closest to Kiowa was Bowker, who held onto Kiowa, but not for long. “‘The truth,’ Norman Bowker would’ve said, ‘is I let the guy go’”(98). Bowker could no longer live with the guilt of what really happened to Kiowa. It was not because of his grip or strength, it was because of the smell of feces that Bowker let go of Kiowa and allowed him to drown. This moment gives way to an emotional burden that Bowker gained, and was forced to shoulder during and after the war. Bowker claims that he does not feel the same after the war, and writes that he is going to hang himself in a YMCA. Bowker shoulders the guilt of letting Kiowa die by committing suicide. A similar scenario occurs with the death of Lavender. After walking back from taking a pee, Lavender is shot in the head. Lieutenant Cross was unaware that Lavender ascended into the woods to relieve himself, and blames himself for not keeping better tabs on his men. “He felt shame. He hated himself. He had loved Martha more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead, and this was something he would have to carry like a stone in his stomach for the rest of the war” (11). Lieutenant Cross was previously shouldering the burden of his college girlfriend, Martha, possibly being with another man. He would read her letters, and daydream about her while marching. Now, Cross was faced with another burden; allowing one of his men to die. Being the first to die, Lavender’s death shocked the squadron members tremendously. Lieutenant Cross was too lost in Martha, and as a result, of one his men was dead. After thinking about Lavender’s death in his foxhole all night, Lieutenant Cross comes to a conclusion. “Instead he went back to his maps. He was now determined to perform his duties firmly and without negligence. It wouldn't help Lavender, he knew that, but from this point on he would comport himself as an officer” (17). This is a character defining moment, one of those that are shown by actions. Lieutenant Cross decides that, unlike Bowker, he will not be upset or make excuses, but instead will focus more on his duties as a general and to his squadron. He shoulders the guilt of Lavender’s death by tightening up the acts of himself and his crew.
Towards the beginning of Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, the country fish fry was marked as the largest outdoor event of the year. The event included all races and minority groups, which seemingly invited Maya, Bailey, and their grandmother. Maya needed to use the bathroom, but became puzzled at which to pick. “Signs with arrows pointed ‘MEN,’ ‘WOMEN,’ ‘CHILDREN’ toward lanes that were hard to find, grown over since last year. Feeling old and very wise at ten, I couldn’t allow myself to be found by the small children peeing behind a tree. Nor did I dare to follow the arrow pointing the way for ‘WOMEN.’ So when I needed to pee, I headed in another direction” (59). Since being sexually abused, people had told Maya that she was not a child anymore. Her grandmother told her that she needs to become more like a woman, and she herself even feels old and wise. Despite being ten, shouldering the burden of being sexually abused had removed Maya’s sense of belonging. She no longer knows who she should be affiliated with, and distances herself from other children. Maya shouldering the burden of her sexual abuse caused her to lose her sense of intimacy. The racism that is directed at Maya only contributes to this. On Easter morning, Maya was fitted in a purple dress, completely expecting compliments and admiration for it. Instead, she received the opposite. Other kids were insulting her, telling her that her skin looked like mud, and that her legs were skinny. She began to dream of being a beautiful white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. “Wouldn’t they be surprised when one day I woke out of my black ugly dream, and my real hair, which was long and blonde, would take the place of the kinky mass that Momma wouldn’t let me straighten? When they saw my light-blue eyes, they would understand why I never picked up a Southern accent, or spoken the language like they did, and why I had to be forced to eat pigs’ tails. Because I was really white and a cruel magician had turned me into a too-big Negro girl, with kinky black hair, broad feet, and a space between her teeth that would hold a pencil” (2). At a young age, Maya Angelou was shouldered with the burden of simply being an African American. The comments on the color of her skin were not exclusive to Easter morning, and occur throughout her entire life. This quote defines Maya, showing that instead of accepting herself as an African American, she wishes to be someone else. After exchanging groceries for a cheaper ticket to California, Maya and her grandmother were packed and ready to board the train. The tickets were expensive, and Momma could not afford to transport her, Maya, and Bailey on the same train. Bailey was forced to stay behind for a month while Maya and her grandmother left for the state. “My sorrow was limited to sadness as separating from Bailey for a month (we had never been separated), the imagined loneliness of Uncle Willie (at thirty-five, he’d never been separated from his mother), and the loss of Louise, my first friend” (73). Maya was sent to California to escape Mr. Freeman. She was forced to live with being sexually abused and shouldered the burden of leaving everything that she had known behind. This included her Uncle, her hometown, and her only friend. This scenario defines Maya, and sets the stage for how Maya will deal with problems in the future. Instead of facing them and working those problems out, she begins to surrender and run from them.
In the end, characters from both novels are forced to shoulder a multitude of physical and emotional burdens. These burdens grow on them throughout their stories, and begin to define who they are as people. Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried show how internal and external conflict can define characters based on their thoughts and reactions.
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