Having the ability to attend public school in a province in Canada where attending school online or physically is an available choice and option, is a privilege and freedom hailed to most families including mine. So taking this newfound advantage of this so-called online learning environment in the safety of our homes, away from potential risks and hazards of the virus, my family and I decided that I would continue on learning online after the six month closure of schools during my final year of middle school, the eight grade. Suddenly I was put into classes with students and teachers from all across the board, interacting with people I would neve route a face or name to and being taught by teachers kilometers away in the far stretched school board. My grades did suffer a bit but my introverted personality didn’t seem to mind the sudden loss of contact from my middle school friends or the lack of physical interaction with peers. Online schooling allowed for a much more flexible schedule, so flexible that we could spend a year abroad stuck in another country attending my maternal uncle's supposed wedding due to Canada’s bans for those specific countries and expensive tickets in the varying seasons but that is a whole entire story for another time.

Life was running smoothly but my parents weren’t happy with the lifestyle online learning was promoting and along with my plummeting grades they decided this semester I would return back to in person school. I was scared, I tried everything to convince them to keep me home but they were stubborn about their decision. Suddenly without any preparation I was going to high school and ready or not it was happening. You know the first day of ninth grade there’s a shared anxiety amongst students, you all are doing something new at the same time, well I was doing it by myself with most of kids my age at school already having friend groups, assimilated into the high school so called society of whoever they’re as a person. That first day walking into my counselor’s office with my voice shaking and talking to the receptionist is a day I will never forget, that nervousness and anxiety that plummeted me at the moment was surreal. That Friday old fellow classmates and people I would know would walk past not looking back, apparently people were dating now, vaping and drugs were a common occurrence in the washroom , high school graffiti and vandalism existed in every corner and not in the good way,  and why did skipping classes or not caring about school, suddenly you make you cool? Why have people changed so much while I'm still that same eighth grader from middle school? I did not like it one bit, my parents had a major argument after I came back from school with me balming theme for putting me in this situation while they defended themselves with statements of being immature on adapting wight changing environment, I guess they’re right but it’s easier said than done especially when you miss out on such crucial developing years, your first year and a half with high school.

I guess you could say I’m complaining and that I’m just too uptight to adapt and understand the secondary school experience and maybe I am but what I’m arguing on isn’t wrong as well because there’s a life beyond high school and the environment and students I’m seeing right now hold many troubled futures with drugs, prison, low wage jobs and other troubling activities. So here I am a week later writing my first Teen Ink article about it while still trying to juggle this sudden high school environment including trying to make friends and reconnecting with old ones, fitting in, trying to open up my locker and not get lost while walking around the massive school building in between classes. Does anybody else have similar experiences or advice for me because I would really need it? Feel free to comment your opinion down below.