There are flowers and familiar people everywhere around me. Normally this would be a comfortable setting. But as I sit here, I realize that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I am here with many people, some of them my closest friends and yet I feel alone. You see, we are at the funeral of a friend that took his life, because even though it seemed like he had everything, he was lonely.

“Black” the word keeps returning in more ways than one. Black is the color of the clothing, black is the word that describes the situation and black was the color of the train that took our friend. I sit here staring at the floral arrangements that state: Son, friend, nephew and so many more titles that would fit the young man who took his own life. I can see the speakers, their mouths are moving, their expressions animated with their sorrow.

My memory takes me back to church camp several months earlier when my friend said “I would like to dedicate this song to my grandfather, who recently passed away.” As he said the words his face was strained with the emotions he was feeling. The music began and his words rang out into the crowd. Every verse cut through our hearts as he sang: “There's a long black train comin' down the line, Feeding off the souls that are lost and cryin'. Rails of sin, only evil remains. Watch out, brother, for that long black train.” When the song was over, tears streamed down people’s faces. Looking back, I realize now that even though he was surrounded by people who cared about him, my friend was lonely.

I wonder how all of this came to be. Why are we here? I went to school with him; he was always so nice and cheerful. He had many friends. He was a basketball star and he sang in the choir. All the teachers knew him. On the outside he seemed to have it all; what no one realized was that on the inside he was lonely.

Loneliness is something everyone experiences in life whether it’s not being home with your family on Christmas or missing a friend who moved away, loneliness is part of our lives. Most of us can get through it, while others struggle. That’s how it is, that’s why we are here.