I thought I saw something good in him. Yes, I did see a few nice things about him. The way he made me smile when I was sad, the way he made me laugh when I was bored. But it all ends there.



For me, he is still the most self-centered, highly ambitious and incompetent friend I have ever known. And we all know that everyone has his or her flaws, right? No one is perfect. The same goes for my so-called ex-friend.


He has been my friend since last year. We used to talk for hours and hours on Yahoo! Messenger, talking endlessly about our common interests. We used to laugh at each other’s jokes, tell each other stories about our most embarrassing moments in school and rant about the people we don’t really like. And most of all, we could tell each other anything. ALMOST anything.


He was almost like my best friend. We didn’t really talk to each other in school because of our busy schedules, but I still considered him as a best friend. But it was only a few weeks ago when I’ve come to realize one thing. It was the worst mistake we both made.


Our friendship was one big mistake.


He fell in love with her. In turn, I fell for him. He wasn’t the perfect guy. He wasn’t even in the top 100 list of heartthrobs in school. But still, I fell for him. And I knew he didn’t love me back. For five long months I felt for him. Because of this, our friendship began to weaken.


I decided to call it quits. I gave up on him. I fell for someone else, and we never spoke to each other again.


It was quite hard to end our friendship. But I knew it wasn’t going to get any better. The more and more we shared each other’s lives, the more I was going to get hurt. I ended our friendship with tears. I asked God, “Am I supposed to miss my friend?” I recounted the many things we have done together, the times we’d laugh our heads off, rant about our bad days in school and simply share stories about our separate lives. But I also realized how bad his attitude was sometimes – his self-centeredness and incompetence. It has also affected me in many ways even I couldn’t explain. I then asked myself, “Was he really a good friend to me?”


Until now, the retreat letter I made for him last June is still saved on my computer. I opened it and read it again. I couldn’t help but feel sad as I read the letter. It was in this letter that I thanked him for our friendship, for both our happy and difficult times together, for everything. Through everything, in spite of everything.


Right now, I am not hoping that our friendship can still be restored. I am still open to the possibility, though. I think all we need is time. Time kills the pain. It can mend broken hearts. If nothing can be done about our friendship anymore though, then so be it. Thanks for the memories, anyway.