About a year ago when I turned 15 something happened that changed my life up until recently. From about 14 up I started being someone who I never thought I could be, I was disrespectful and getting into more trouble than a 14 year old boy should. Then I met Broddie, a youth pastor, and my life took another turn.

At age 14 I began to talk back to my parents and do bad in school, a typical teenager ideology. But, then I began to not care about life or anyone in it, not even my closest friends, everyone was pushed away and I became somewhat depressed. My friend J.B. was one of the few who I kept close to and through him I met Broddie. The same night I met Broddie he became closer to me than anyone before and started talking to me about my life trying to get to know me. When I told him what was going on he sat down and talked to me and tried to lift me up spiritually. Being a Christian my whole life I had no problem with this, but I was so deep and pitiful that I am surprised he even wanted to talk to me.

For the next couple of months I hung out with J.B., Broddie, and other teens from Trinity church. We played baseball a sport I loved and have played my whole life. They became my second family and through them I began to change back into the kid I used to be, happy go-lucky and caring, I also started doing really good in school again. The change was evident, even my parents (who I didn’t really talk to) and people who barely knew me could tell I was happy and back to my old self. This continued for the next couple of months until Broddie had to move to Snellville to fulfill a position he felt God was calling him to.

Broddie’s absence and my lack of church-going turned me back into the kid I never wanted to be. My uncle, who I am extremely close to, then began to play the role of Broddie. I went to church with him and began kayaking again, a sport that pulls you close to anyone and makes you realize what people miss in everyday suburban life. Through these events I again became close to God, but a part of the kid that hated everyone and life still lingered. For the next year I was just an angry being, even the nicest people made me mad and my temper was short, extremely short, almost too short to even take a joke. Again the changes were noticed by life-long friends and they tried to help me. This time the only thing that changed was my depression, the anger that had built up inside me stayed kindled, and is still there to this day, and I was not the same.

One friend stayed by my side the whole time, not mentioning names this person helped me and put up with a lot of crap that no one person should ever have to put up with. This person has stayed by my side through thick and thin to this day and is the main reason I haven’t left or done something stupid. Through this person I have been able to change back to the person I want to be. One who cares for others and is also there for others, but at the same time is not vulnerable. I still have a problem though. Since I didn’t make my problems perfect and put on a very good show for 2-3 years no one knows what happened, until now. People that don’t know do stuff to make me mad, without knowing, and this in turn makes me the person I used to be and no one will stand by me anymore when that happens. My life has been torn apart by self-gratification and I have had to watch every step I take, making sure I don’t land myself in a bad place.

This year of 11th grade has been another huge turning point. I have put my past behind me, somewhat, and am now focusing on helping others, and growing close again to those that I put through hell. For those who stood beside me I thank them and wish I could tell them just how much I appreciate them. Let’s hope the changes stay because the person that I can be is terrible and should never have to be dealt with again.